| Fan Fiction |
by raindrop_symphony
I called Jaejoong this morning. I decided I can’t keep this to myself. I need someone to talk to and I think Jaejoong would be the best person to talk to. I was feeling a bit guilty for calling him in such sort notice especially now that he’s preparing for his wedding. But then again, what choice do I have? I need to talk to someone who would understand. Although Chie has been very kind to me, I don’t think talking to her would be a good idea especially with the fact that she’s Yoochun’s cousin.
So Jaejoong arrived around noon and by the look he gave me, he knew something was wrong. We’ve known each other long enough and he knows me very well. Over lunch, I told him what happened, about Yoochun, my feelings for him and what happened two days ago. Jae was shocked, knowing that I was not the kind of person to do such things unless I’ve thoroughly thought about it. Still, Jae was understanding enough that he didn’t judge what I had done. He knows that I won’t do something unless I love the person, and I really love Yoochun. Jae said loving is loving someone is like taking medicines, if you’re not the right medicine then you can’t cure the sickness no matter how hard you try. I know what he meant. Am I Yoochun’s right medicine then? Can I cure him from his pain? But what if I’m not? Sigh. Jae was right, I need to talk to Yoochun but then I can’t bring myself to do that. I’m still scared. Call me stubborn but like what I said, I don’t want to get hurt. Would I be too selfish I want to keep myself from getting hurt? For the first time in my life I fell so deeply in love with someone and I’m already getting hurt. I guess what people say is right, “All love stories are stories of unrequited love.”
Cherry
P.S. One rose at the front door and a note that says, “Teach me how to love again.” Can I do that? Can I teach someone how to love when I myself is a novice at this thing called LOVE?
♥ ♥ ♥
I wandered around the city today thinking how I was going to talk to Cherry. Yesterday when I woke up, she was gone. I’m not sure what to think of that but I guess it was better for both of us to have some space and think of how we feel. I also need some time to think of what I want to say to her and how I would say it. I want my feelings to be sure when I talk to her. I’m still confused if I love her or not. It’s like there’s a thin line between love and like and I’m in that line. Certain that I like her but uncertain if I love her.
I haven’t seen Cheery for two days. I wonder what Cherry is doing right now. Is she alright? Is she thinking about what happened? How is she feeling? Sigh. How I wish I could talk to her. But then if I do, would she be willing to talk to me? What if she doesn’t want to see me any more? What do I do then? Sigh.
I went to Yunho’s office this afternoon. I badly needed to talk to someone so I decided to talk to him. Yunho was always good with advices. Well, I was glad that Yunho listened to me while I narrated the whole event for the past days. By the time I finished my little story I could see that Yunho was a bit torn between giving me a lengthy lecture or a friendly advice but I felt that he decided on the latter as I listened to him talk. Yunho said he was shocked. Although he felt that Cherry and I were getting close he never thought that we would reach that level so fast. Actually, Yunho didn’t say much but then what he asked me is still running in my mind until now. He just asked me a question, “Are you ready to love again?” Am I ready to love again? Can I finally let go of the past and move on? Can I do that on my own? Or do I need someone to teach me how to love again?
Yoochun