| Fan Fiction |
by AlexaDBSK
I always said that no one will ever love me… how fool was I back then… she loved me. I know it; no one can ever take that from my mind. She did, she liked everything about me: all my qualities, my infirmities… and I loved her even more.
The band that I am in, DBSK, is everything I have left. My best friends, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin support me a lot, but… I am not the same… and never will be the same again, because she’s not here.
Today, I went back to where we first met. I needed to see that place, to feel her, to love her and to think at all those beautiful memories we have together. Maybe it’s not enough to remember it, because still… she won’t come back to me. She left me forever… without saying a word, without saying “I love you”…
The place was full of dust, of course. That house is no longer inhabited and now everything I had here it’s gone too… The first meeting came into my mind quickly…
*Flashback*
She was standing on the sofa, while talking to Yunhee. God, she was beautiful, I couldn’t take make eyes off her all night. I never thought that the manager’s sister has such an awesome daughter… she was only 17 back then and I was 20. My ex-girlfriend hurt me in the past and since then I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone else. Just taking my revenge, sleeping with a bunch of girls, not caring that I might hurt someone someday. I got closer to her, while Yunho was staying beside me.
-Take your eyes off her now… she’s the manager niece, he said.
-I know, Yunho, but… there’s something that keeps telling me not to stay back.
-You’ll get yourself into troubles, hyung… watch out…
-I will.
So, I went closer and closer until I looked deeply into her eyes. Those brown eyes that made me melt when they were crying.
-Oh, JaeJoong! Thanks for coming, guys! One of my nieces really wanted to see you, the manager said.
-Here we are, said Changmin.
-Where’s the birthday girl? Yoochun asked.
-There she is!
I thought he was going to point towards her but I notice only then… next to her, was a little girl, staying quiet, watching her big sister talking to her best friend.
-Her name is Min Soo and the one standing next to her is her big sister, Ayumi.
So, her name was Ayumi! Perfect, all I needed to do now was to go and talk to her.
-How old is she? I asked.
-She’s turning 11 today.
-No, not Min Soo… Ayumi…
-Oh, she’s 17. Anyway, come in! Everybody, our special guests have arrived. Min Soo, here is your present!
The little girl jumped on me and started to hug me really tight and I was thinking “What the fuck???” but then the manager saw my face and he stared at me with a death glare so I started to smile.
-Oppa, said the little girl, I want you to be my onii-chan!
-Your what??
-My big brother! Will you?
And I thought that she liked me… just like other little girls of age did.
-Uh… sure, of course!
-Yay!! Did you hear that, sis?? He’s going to be my onii-chan!
-Yeah, I heard that, Min Soo, Ayumi said.
She was standing now in front of me with a little smile upon her face. I froze, didn’t know what to do, I was just looking at her while Changmin was hitting me in the ribs to make me stop staring at her.
-I’m Ayumi, nice to meet you!
-Yeah… we are…
-I know, so let’s skip the introduction. My uncle is always talking about you.
-Really? What is he saying? Junsu asked.
-He tells me you’re the best band in the whole Asia.
-Well, it’s true, I said.
She looked at me with big eyes and smiled a little.
-I thought so…
And she started to walk away from us, letting me standing there like a fool. I run towards her and grabbed her hand.
-What did you mean?
-You’re exactly how the rumors say you are, Mr. Kim. Anyway, I hope you enjoy your evening here.
She wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to let her so I pulled her arm again, hitting the waiter and splitting a glass of wine on her dress.
-Oh… um… I’m so sorry, I didn’t…
-What happened here? The manager asked.
-It was an accident, Ayumi said. I’ll go up stairs to change my dress.
-Ok.
As she was climbing the stairs, a thought came in my mind. But that was exaggerated so I didn’t pay attention to it. Still… it was there, telling me to continue… so I started to follow her. I sneak around and no one saw me going up stairs after her. I saw she entered in the second room of the 1st floor so I was taking slow steps to make fewer rumors. I was standing now in front of the door just to see that she didn’t close it.
-Come in, she said.
I was petrified. How the hell did she know I was there? I pushed a little the door and saw her looking at me.
-How did you…
-I saw you while you were heading to the stairs… why did you come?
-I wanted to apology again! I’m really sorry; I bet it was an expensive dress.
-I’m not a material girl, she said.
-I didn’t say this.
-I hate you, Kim JaeJoong. Get out of my room now!
-Hmmpfff, I don’t think you hate me… look at you, you’re all red because I stay so close to you.
-I… I…
-You what…?
-I’m not red…
-Yes you are!
And I wanted to lean forward so that I can kiss her. Oh yes, I wanted to kiss her so badly… But then I saw that tears were coming up. I didn’t know what to say; actually I didn’t know she was crying.
-Uh… did I do something wrong?
-You just ruined my dress…
-It’s just a dress, you’ll buy another one!
-It’s not just a dress, you idiot!!! It’s the dress my mother gave me before she died, ok??
-I… I didn’t know your mom is… uh… sorry…
All I could do was to keep her in my arms while she was crying. The light in the room was really low, I could see her only because she was next to the window and the moonlight was sending the light upon the house. She kept crying like this for 5 minutes and then she pushed me away.
-Sorry, I don’t usually cry in front of stranger, she said.
-Yeah, I’m sorry too, I don’t usually want to kiss a girl when I first see her.
-I should change now.
-Oh, ok. I’ll just… uh… go downstairs…
-Ok…
*End of flashback*
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“I just can't believe your gone
still waiting for morning to come
when I see if the sun will rise, in the way that your by my side
well we got so much in store
tell me what is it I’m reaching for
when were through building memories i'll hold yesterday in my heart
in my heart…”