Vanity (One-shot) Completed

by Moon Mistress

Chapter 3

Review by Tina @ sm.violinstar.net

http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Anndrise2

Reviewed by: Tina @ sm.violinstar.net

Title 5/5
The title was pretty good to start off. Sounds very interesting.

Poster/Background 8/10
Your poster is nice, but then I thought it was a guilun shot too, so how come it’s only a BeBu poster?

Forewords 10/10
Your foreword was good. I like how you asked all those questions. Really good!

Plot 14/15
Your plot was pretty good. It talked about how marriage was going to be like for GuiGui then Hebe. Pretty good.

Flow 10/10
The flow was great, but then a bit too fast. I think you ended the story a little too fast. Don’t you think you should have a part two for your readers to read?

Writing Style 5/5
Your writing style is GREAT! I love it, and I encourage you to keep up your good work!

Character Development 8/10
Your character development was pretty good, but then they didn’t really talk much about Aaron, only Hebe and GuiGui was mentioned.

Creativity/Originality 8/10
You are a brilliant writer, but then when I read the BeBu version, I thought it will be different, but all you did was erase GuiGui’s name and put Hebe’s name on it. That’s probably why no one commented. You could’ve made it a bit different.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabularies 10/10
Your grammar was good, and I found no mistake anywhere at all. You write pretty differently, and I like it a lot!

Overall Enjoyment 10/10
Oh boy, I enjoyed reading this story a lot. I wish that you do write a part 2!

Bonus Point 5/5
Of course I’m giving you bonus points. You are talented and a hard worker. Your story is a 5 star!

Total Points = 93/100
Sorry for the long review. I have been in so much trouble and all, but I love your story!

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Oh gosh, I am SO amazed by this review... Never thought that I would be capable of getting such scores... Hmmm do all of you REALLY want part 2 because... I am a little out of ideas and I have another project to look after too... So unless you all REALLY want it...

Moon Mistress