| Fan Fiction |
by Moon Mistress
Title: 9/10
It gives a very mysterious feeling to the story. Once you see it, you start to wonder what the story's about and why it's called "Vanity".
Poster and Backround: 7/10
I like the poster and the backround. The colors were appropiate for the type of story. Hebe's picture is a bit blurry but I'm able to let that go. I only wished that the poster had Gui Gui because I preferred the Gui Lun version. Other than that, I love it.
Forewords: 8/10
I have to say that the forewords immediately drew me in. I mean, it was basically all the crap that I believed. Humans were naturally vain and will ne utterly ruthless in order to get what they want in life.
Plot: 13/15
The basis of the story was common but I'm actually glad that the pairing didn't have a happy ending. It would've killed it in my opinion. I liked the plot. It was how Gui Gui grows up as a vain girl, hoping to marry that dream guy. But then he ends up cheating on her. It was not your typical fairy tale story.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
Your spelling, grammar and vocabulary is better than mine. Out of the whole story, I spotted like one error? Maybe two? I'm not even sure! Great job!
Creativity and Originality: 14/15
You took an unorignal plot and gave it a fresh new twist. Honestly, I haven't really ever read a story on Winglin that had the elements of your story.
Writing Style: 10/10
I don't know what you're talking about but you are a much better writer than I am. My essays are pieces of crap, but your essay was actually good. The way you write is refreshing and almost like those example essays I read in school.
Flow of Story: 8/10
This story is an essay so it can't have too much drag. I thought the essay flowed smoothly for the most part.
Character Used: 3/5
I loved the Gui Lun version but wasn't too crazy about the BeBu version. I felt that Gui Gui better suited the role of the vain one, rather than Hebe. Gui Gui seems more naive than Hebe does. Of course, I also love a story that doesn't bash Gui Gui.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I enjoyed reading this story. I really think you should consider writing more essays because I think that's where you're really strong in...from what I see.
Total: 86/100
Not bad at all. Possibly the highest I've ever reviewed! Request from us again please?
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Here is review number 1! Hm, I realized that I couldn't help but agree with the Ice Queen that the Gui Lun version seemed more logical? But then, luv_aaron REALLY had problems finding a suitable picture...
Personally, I think that the Ice Queen is REALLY nice to give me such a fantastic grade, I mean I well... I' glad that she enjoyed it?
I realised that I haven't put up the credits but then I am quite reluctant to because the credits would be SO short... So do comment so that I can paste the credits?
As for the possible sequal, I believe that I wil most probably have to shelf that idea for the mean time because I am just so inspirationless for 6 Years Later and I have many other stories that I want to begin but I am just TOO lazy to do that! =D