| Fan Fiction |
by Moon Mistress
Author: Miss Cheryline/Moon Mistress
URL:http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Anndrise2/
Status: One-shot; Completed
Reviewer: THE_AnGeL @ YesOverYen
Title 5/5
Your title suited your story well and it is a very creative title.
Poster/Background: 9/10
I like your background but it wasn’t the best match with the colour with your title. The colour of the words didn’t blend in together which I liked.
Forewords: 8/10
Your forewords had a lot of questions and mysteries. I’m not saying that is bad but sometimes you should answer some questions and introduce characters.
Plot: 13/15
Your plot was a bit similar to some fanfics that I’ve read. Marrying without any feelings or love was similar but the ending was different which I strongly approved. It was a bit weird how you changed it to Hebe other than Gui gui.You just changed the name and I believe they have different personalities and thoughts. I think Gui gui will suit your fanfic more.
Creativity/Originality: 11/15
As I have stated your plot was a bit similar and it wasn’t as original. But sometimes it is very hard to make a very original topic because most people have the same ideas.
Flow: 9/10
I don’t have any problems with your flow but it was a little bit rushed.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
You had a few mistakes that I’ve noticed. Here is one:
What you wrote: Had she been a male, she would have been the pride of her parents, but she wasn’t.
Should be: If she had been a male, she would have been the pride of her parents, but she wasn’t.
Characterisation: 7/10
You didn’t really explain much about your characters but you did describe a bit about them. You made your forewords into questions so we don’t really know much about the characters.
Writing Style: 10/10
I think you are great at writing. Your description is very clear and vivid.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I enjoyed your story but I think it was a bit rushed.
Sub Total: 83/100
Bonus: 3 /5
1.I enjoyed it.
2. It was well written
[I didn’t give you 5 because I’m not a very big fan of Bebu. I like GuiLun better but I’m not biased.]
Total: 86/100
Great score!
PS: I did this quickly because this is actually my first review. I hope its okay!
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Hmmmm, thanks for the review