| Fan Fiction |
by BoBoLi0us
Warning : The reviewer has nothing against the author. This is just an honest and strict review which will help the author to improve himself/herself in the next attempt of writing a story. Please do not get angry if there any unpleasant comments.
Title: 5/5
Simple yet befitting. Its not exactly intriguing but its simple; which I think is the title’s appeal. The title gives out what the plot is all about but still keeps the reader wondering on what exactly is the meaning.
First Impression: 9/10
My first impression would be how you have improved in your designing skills and I was attracted to the layout. As I read on, I noticed that the characters in the poster portrayed exactly what the story wants to give out. The perfect amount of melancholy. However, I kind of thought, "another one of these?" so I guess the whole thing didn't really excite me.
Forewords: 10/10
It keeps readers wondering on what happens next. What made Jaypark play music, what happened between the characters. You hinted Jay’s personality and Soomi’s background, clearly stated when and why he fell for her, infused the past and the right amount of present. Well done.
Plot: 13/15
Falling in love with someone you barely know is a good plot and its something new. I like it, its refreshing although somewhat, not realistic.
Creativity/Originality: 13.5/15
Since it’s a one-shot, I suppose twists are unnecessary. Taeckyeon changing and all is something predictable, though I was hoping you’d surprise me and made a love triangle between the three; ending the story with a cliffhanger. However, since it’s a MUST for Jay Park and Soomi to be together, I guess this is forgivable.
Flow: 9/10
It was okay but not perfect.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
Grammar and spelling; no problem. However, you could work on your diction. Really, you should start using big words now because this kind of diction is, honestly, below your standards.
Characterisation: 6/10
You defined everyone in their own way. If you were to give off more descriptions, I think it would help boost your marks in this area.
Writing Style: 5/10
Since I’m an avid reader of your stories, I can’t say you have improved. Its still the same from the last time I read any of your work. Still the same amount of angst, the same amount of melancholy, still the same.
Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
It was okay. I kind of knew where the story was going so I can’t really say I got all hyped up or anything.
Sub Total: 82.5/100
Bonus: 2/5
Total: 84.5/100
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Kudos to Kee @ ROL/i-Deas