| Fan Fiction |
by BoBoLi0us
Title: This Song
Author: BoBoLi0us
Reviewer: Pararae
Site: http://artsyasiancrew.blogspot.com
Title 4/5 the title is simple and match well with the main idea of the story and it somehow lend a touch of certain mood to it as well. ^^
Forewords 9/10 just likes I’ve expected from you, the foreword is well organized and clean and are used to such extend that I can call it complete even though you miss the genre, length and such but I find it unnecessary because you have written in your title that you are writing a one-shot and the readers can get the hint of which genre you have used by reading the short introduction so thumbs up for you! ^^
Plot 15/20 your plot is acceptably absorbing especially on how Jaebum sing the song he composed to Christina and the speech he uttered before he play the song is really interesting and make the readers want to know more of it. However the plot is quite common in a certain view but riveting at the same time and the way the same characters were tight closely by the main idea of the story put the readers into a spellbinding read. A great story indeed! ^^
Originality 3/5 your plot about a guy fell in love in a first sight is slightly cliché in a way because I’ve read about this kind of story lots of time but the way you present it has it own significant way of imaginative writing and I can see your genuine writing style portrayed in it especially when you end the story. There is no way to determine whether Jaebum and Christina got together at the end because she decided to go back to Boston but the way you ended it is slightly rare. Most writers tends to give final conclusion on what happen to the main characters but you just leave it there for the readers to make their own ending. An efficiently interesting cliffhanger ^^
Grammar/Spellings/Transitions 12/15 there are a few spelling mistakes but only a minor one. You misspelled a word that has the same pronunciation with another word. For example: He felt like a stalker researching on his next ‘pray’, but he was addicted. It is supposed to be prey. You even addressed Taec as ‘her’ at: Taec shook ‘her’ head and slipped the phone back into his pocket. But don’t worry, the mistakes is not too big and the readers still could understand what you intend to write but try to re-check your chapter before you post it and I think it will work perfectly competent if you ask your friend or family member to do it for you. ^^
Flow 7/10 your flow is acceptably understandable at some point but quite fast at certain field like when Jaebum suddenly end up as Taec’s friend. And you didn’t elaborate how Jaebum got into the company. It’s quite hard to understand there. The time line in this story is quite unorganized too so try to work on it. ^^
Choice of Words/Idioms/Quotes 9/10 I like your choice of words and phrases you use in this story. There are so many to pick from ^^ but I prefer this the most ‘I wrote this song for you, because that’s all I can give’ and ‘And for that, I saved you a place in my heart’. It sounds so beautifully match as if they were talking directly to each other and it also portrayed the point of the story. Also, ‘most romantic thing a guy can do for a girl is to compose a piece of music for her, and play it before her’ plays a star in this story. It became the sole reason why Jaebum composed a song and played it live for the girl he loves to hear it and it is also the reason why Christina accepts Jaebum in her heart. Such a nice way to picture a story ^^
Details/Settings/Characterization 12/15 the characterization of Jaebum is presentably significant and the readers can get the idea of his attitude, thoughts and feelings. The way you depict his tough and fancy-free character at first and later change into a love-sick boy who would do anything for the person he admire is really enthralling and well charmed while Christina’s character is less in detail but we all know that she love to dance, came from a rich family that doesn’t support her hobby and deeply in love with Taec until reality strike when she felt that Taec has completely forget about her and decided to end their relationship. However, Taec’s characterization is a bit puzzling because you didn’t describe why he didn’t call or text or send letters to his girlfriend but as far as I know, he is a quiet but playful guy around Christina because he loves to tease her. ^^
Enjoyable 9/10 I totally love your story and I really enjoy it. I can see that you have a proficient writing style that could magnetize the readers with your competently unique and creative idea of story line. However, there is always a space for you to fill up so work hard. After all, practice makes perfect. ^^
Over All Score 80/100
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MEOW. Thank you.
Im surprised, since i was so messed up writing this fic since everything was tryin to pour out from me -.-
14O8O9