| Fan Fiction |
by th1rd3ye
Fan Fic URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/BMD/
Author Name: th1rd3ye
Title: 5/5 It was eye-catching and it goes really well with the story.
First Impressions: 8/10 When I first saw your story, it was really good, but the background really hurt my eyes when I read it because the white and black had a huge contrast with each other so it hurts your eyes. The poster went really well with the background, and it fit the storyline, but the pictures of the characters weren't blended in well in the poster.
Forewords: 7/10 You didn't describe your characters much in your forewords. All you put was their names, but your summary for the story was eye-catching. It was a beautifully written summary, so that compensated for your not describing the characters in the forewords.
Plot: 9/10 It was an extremely unique plot, so it was really enjoyable to read. I took off a point because I never found out what had happened to
Creativity/Originality: 15/15 This is the first fanfic I've ever seen that used planets in their fanfic. What amazed me is that you incorporated planets beautifully in a fantasy story. The only time I've seen this were in two movies.
Flow: 13/15 The flow was perfect, but it would've been better if you had put the character descriptions in the forewords. But when you kinda fixed it up when you linked the Elders giving the four protagonists their wish, which led to the other chapters. Another thing was that the readers never found out what had happened to the Elders at the end.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10 Your spelling was okay. You wrote "Godness" instead of "Godess" in chapter one, and in one of the later chapters, you wrote "Ton Lin" instead of "Tong Lin." Your grammar was slightly flawed, but your writing was understandable. Your vocabulary was better than average, but you could use more elaborate words.
Characterizations: 6/10 I would've given you a higher score if you had put your characterizations in the forewords. In the forewords, all you put were the characters' names. You didn't put a lot of description about the characters.
Writing Style: 8/10 Your writing style is pretty good, but it can still be improved.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5 It was a phenomenal story. I hope I can review your upcoming stories!
Total Score: 83/100
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heyhey! it had been long since this fanfic was completed. but i decided to ask for a review. :p
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THANKS to Purpleskies468 from http://amethyst-garden.blogspot.com/ for reviewing this! =]
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th1rd3ye