| Fan Fiction |
by BlueBird
She took a last deep breath before taking out her key and opening the door.
„Erika? Hi! I'm in the kitchen.“ she heard his cheerful voice when she closed the dor behind her. Erika didnt answer, she went into the kitchen directly.
„Hi“ she said then, smiling slightly, honestly happy to see him again.
„Long time no see“ he said then and went to the fridge to get something to drink, while Erika sat down slowly.
„Yeah...“ Erika said feeling slightly uncomfortable. „I'm sorry ... for avoiding you. I shouldn't have done that“ she said with an apologetic look on her face.
Matsuda smiled bitterly and put the drinks on the table. „So you really avoided me on purpose...“ he concluded.
Her heart clenched when she heard his voice that showed his hurt.
„Listen, I want to explain it properly to you...“ she started, but didn't know where to continue. Shota waited patiently for her to be ready.
„I...Do you remember when i told you about this childhoodfriend who moved away suddenly?“ she asked him. He thought a bit, but then he nodded.
„You know...he came back recently. I've never told you, but i felt more than friendship for him when he moved away...I really thought those feelings had faded after such a long time, but when i saw him again, i realized it wasnt like that...I was really confused about how to behave...thats why i couldn't answer your calls.“ she explained while looking at the cup in her hands. She knew that she hurt him a lot by telling him this, but it was no use to tell him only halft of the truth. Erika had always been straightforward.
Shota sat down on the chair next to her and took her hands.
„Do you think you can really trust someone like that? Just moving away wihtout explaining everything or saying goodbye? Do you really think he is worth your love? With me you have a stable boyfriend. I would never run away from you. I can understand that your confused, but -“ Erika cut his words.
„I'm very sorry Shota. I like you a lot. More than a friend and it really hurts me a lot that i have to say this now.“ she said becoming more and more emotional. „But I can't be with you when I like someone else that much. It doesn't matter if he runs away again. I just want to spend the time he is here with him. I'm sure about my feelings now and about what i want. I want to be with Ryo...He explained why he left and I can forgive him for it.
I'm really sorry, Shota. I was really unfair towards you. I feel like i played with your feelings...“ small tears fall down her cheek, but Shota brushed them away with his thumb, smiling lovingly, but also sad at her.
„Don't cry. I'm really glad that you dated me.“ he said sounding forced and it seemed like he wanted to add something, but he let it be. Then his facial expression changed a bit.
„I'm sorry, but...can you leave? I still have work to do...“ he said suddenly and took her cup from her, putting it in the sink.
Erika sighed, but stood up and looked at him. „I'm really sorry“ she apologized again and left. She could hear Shota crying softly before she closed the door. Again she was close to tears herself. In their whole relationship, she had never heard or seen him cry. And now she was the cause of it.
Yamapi was still at work when Erika called him on his cellphone. „Come home early today, okay? I invited Yui, Yuta and Ryo for dinner.“ That was the only thing she said to him before hanging up.
It was always like this. She never even said hello or asked how he was. She came straight to the point.
It was Thursday today and they had met with Ryo everyday since Sunday. He was really happy that he was back and that they could talk that casually with each other again, but he still blamed his parents death on him somehow. He knew that it wasn't his fault. He had no choice but to go. But if he had just told him where he went, his parents wouldn't have looked for him and they would be alive now.
He sighed and streched his arms above his head tiredly. He was sitting in front of the computer, editing some photos from the latest photoshoot. Thinking about those things really didn't help him to concentrate, so he stood up and went to the company kitchen.
„Long night yesterday?“ his coworker Nagasawa Masami teased and poured him a cup of coffee as well.
„Thanks“ was the only thing he said when she handed him his cup. They stood there leaning on the counters and drinking their coffee. She studied his expression silently while he was still thinking about his parents an Ryo.
„Did something happen?“ Masami asked. She wasn't used to his lack of talking. He wasn't actually a chatterbox, but him keeping all quiet was a strange sight. Usually he would tease her, annoy her.
Now that she didn't hear his stupid remarks, she got worried.
„No...It's something from the past.“ he said without wanting to explain further, but Masami didn't let go of the topic.
„Come on, you can tell me...“ she said and looked him straight in the eyes, that held a somewhat lost expression.
„Its nothing...its just...“ he couldn't help but tell her what bothered him. She always had that effect on him. „It's just about my parent's death. I'm just thinking about how it could have been prevented...what the cause was.“ he answered slowly.
A sympathetic smile came to her face.
„Why do you even think about that? You can't change it anyway. It's over. They won't come back and it does you no good to look for ways how they could have survived.“ she said. The smile slowly fading from her face, being replaced by a bitter expression.
„I know what i'm talking about. You're better off accepting it.“
Yamapi regretted telling her a bit. Everytime they talked about his parents, she would be reminded of her parents.
Yamapi had first met her in the orphanage he stayed at for a month, until he moved into an own apartment. Masami had always been a cheerful girl. She lifted his spirits when he thought about sad things, but she also had a sad past. She had been in the orphanage because her parents had commited suicide. Leaving her all alone with the debts of the family. But she tried to never let her past affect her future. Just like her petphrase says: „Don't dwell on the past. Live in the present without regrets!“ Today as well, she said it.
Yamapi couldn't help but smile at those familiar words.
„You're not really creative huh? Same words for so many years“ he teased her and she smiled as well.
„These never get old“ she answered then and drank the rest of her coffee. „I should go back to work now. See you then.“ she said and winked before leaving the kitchen.
Yamapi was still smiling when she was long gone, thinking over her words again and again.
„Don't dwell on the past. Live in the present without regrets“ he said quietely to himself and finished his cup of coffee as well. Now he was able to concentrate better again and quickly he finished off his work, in order to go home early.
He went to Hiroki, who worked in the same company as him and told him what Erika had told him.
„Sorry, I won't be there tonight. I have a date.“ he said smiling pleasantly at the thought.
„Have fun then...Someone I know?“ he asked then interested and Hiroki just shook his head, taking his bag and going past Yamapi.
„Well, then, I'm off. Bye.“ he said before leaving the office.
It didn't take him a long time to get home. He was standing in front of their sharehouse and already heard the laughter inside. Smiling he opened the door.
„Hey, Yamapi! You're late!“ Erika scolded him when he entered the living room, where the three of them were sitting.
„Where's Hiroki?“ she continued not waiting for an answer or excuse.
„He has a date, he won't have dinner with us tonight.“ he answered, ignoring her previous comment and seating himself next to Yui.
„Where is Yuta? Didn't you say he would come as well?“ he asked when he noticed the absence of the young doctor.
„He has work“ Ryo answered shortly.
„I see...“ Yamapi just answered.
„Could you come and help me?“ Erika said to Yamapi a bit annoyed, since she had to remind him of doing it.
„It's alright, i help“ Ryo said smiling at her and standing up.
„Oh, okay then.“ she said smiling a bit as well.
Both of them disappeared and he was left alone with Yui. She was concentrated on the TV. There was some kind of Variety Show and a music group was talking about their love affairs.
„You like them?“ Yamapi asked pointing at the TV and Yui nodded enthusiastically.
„They've been my favourite since they debuted.“ she said smiling brightly...brighter than normally.
„Something good happened?“ he asked then and she nodded with the same enthusiasm she had a moment ago.
„I told you all about Haruma, didn't I?“ Yamapi just nodded, he could remember her ranting about him too well. „He visited me in the cafe i work at today and he asked me on a date! Can you believe that? I really go on a date with him tomorrow. He really seems perfect. I get along well with him, he is gentle, good looking and smart. He knows how to make me laugh...“ dreamily she looked at the wall and not at the TV anymore, having forgotten all about her favourite music band.
Yamapi had to laugh when he saw her being all girly about that boy.
„Ah, i almost forgot“ she said when she had snapped out of it and called for Ryo.
„Your medicine. You forgot it in the car.“ she told him and showed him a small bottle with pills.
„oh, yeah...“ Ryo said smiling cheepishly. He was really forgetful when it came to things like that.
„Did the doctor change your medicine?“ she asked then when she noticed how different the bottle looked.
Ryo hesitated for a second, but then he answered „Yeah, he did. The doctor at the hospital here changed it.“
Yui nodded in understanding and handed the bottle to him.
Yamapi however noticed how Ryo had hesitated for a while before answering. Did he hide something else? He asked himself in his mind furrowing his brows when he looked at his best friend.
:::
Thanks for the comments again :) You guys really keep me going. This time i tried to leave a little bit more space. I hope its better now. But i dont know how to change fonts...is it even possible?
This time Yamapi is the focus of the chapter. I felt like i neglected him a bit ^^ And yes, i know again a new character, but she won't appear that much, so i hope you can bear with it. ;)