| Fan Fiction |
by heartsong
So this was it. Barely a month had yet passed and here I was, back in Taipei.
For good.
I’d called my father at night a few days ago, informing him of my decision. He had sounded so happy and relieved to hear of it.
He said he would fetch me at the airport. I agreed.
The first person I wanted to see was my father.
Besides, my mother would most probably be too busy helping Ariel with the preparations.
Ariel.
I missed her, too. She was, after all, my baby sister. I’d seen her as someone I needed to protect for eternity.
Chun would have to take over my job now.
Chun.
He was just another friend. He would have to be.
After all, he lost the place of “best friend” to Hebe when he stopped protecting me and started protecting Ariel.
I wasn’t blaming him for it. It was a known fact that you couldn’t have two women in your life without one of them being your mother if you were a guy.
You would be forced to choose.
In every love story, there’d be a best friend, a guy, and his bride.
In this one, I was the best friend, and my sister was the bride.
My sister was marrying him – and as much as I wanted, I was unable to suppress the growing joy in me. Ariel had finally found her happiness.
I felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips and my heart lifted.
I knew that part of it had to do with me. Had I chosen to fight for Chun, she would never have found her happiness.
I would have been the third wheel.
I turned to Hebe, who gave me a resigned look. It made me laugh.
“Are you really going back?”
I nodded.
Hebe wasn’t coming with me this time. She said if she came she’d probably slap Chun, and kick him in the groin.
I’d laughed at that, surprising her when I gave her a wholehearted hug and started out of the doorway with a bounce in my steps.
I felt lighter just knowing that with my Dad, I could get over Chun.
My dad would be my pillar of support and emotional cushion.
---
When the plane touched down, I felt a shudder go through its entire body.
It seemed to be symbolic of the nerves that were wrecking my system.
Through the hours of sleep that I’d had on the plane – it was three in the afternoon in France and two in the wee hours of the morning in Taipei – I was wrecked with the very same dream that had been plaguing me for the past few nights. I saw the same patterns swirling around me, a kaleidoscope of colours; the same maple leaves – the same shades of gold and amber – the same man, hanging from his place in the tree.
I’d wake up in cold sweat, breathing hard and staring into the black numbness of the night until sleep came for me yet again.
When I awoke I felt unraveled at the seams of my human life. I felt detached from every piece of me and my head was swimming in the dank, dull chambers of the aftermath of a nightmare.
I could not think straight.
I hurried to the baggage claim area, hoisting my luggage up and pulling my phone out of my pocket with another hand. Once I’d checked out of the terminal, I dialed out number in France.
Hebe answered the phone.
“Hebe, are you coming over or not? I need you here. I’ve been having the same nightmare again and again and I’m terrified. I can’t talk to Daddy about this, he’ll psycho-analyse me. I swear, I can’t take this much longer. You have to come back here. Please,”
I all but begged her to fly over because the dream was terrifying me. I did not appreciate seeing dangling corpses in front of my eyes.
Hebe sighed deeply over the line.
And she conceded.
“Alright,” she replied wearily, “But don’t expect me to be cordial to Chun or Ariel.”
I swallowed past my tight throat and nodded, thanking her tearfully.
As I stuffed the phone back into my pocket, I caught sight of my father waving joyously at me. Without a second thought, I ran to him and smiled as he wrapped his large arms around me.
Comfort was the way I still fit in my father’s embrace no matter how much I had grown physically. This was where I’d fitted perfectly since I was young.
I pulled back and looked into my father’s shining eyes and saw support, comfort, love. I saw acceptance for whatever I chose to do.
He turned, smiling, to his left.
I followed his gesture and saw the last person I had ever expected to see.
Chun.
---
My father trotted off jovially after, saying something about having to meet Mother for some tuxedo fitting.
I caught snippets here and there, but my gaze was fixed on the one man I had been pining after for the past month or so.
I bit my lip, knowing that if I let as much as a tear escape, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
“Chun?” I whispered, and his hand came up to frame my face.
Then he brought it away. I wanted to protest at the sudden loss of warmth, but he had moved on and I no longer had the right to want such physical contact.
“We can’t talk here, Ella, let’s go somewhere else.”
I nodded, swallowing slightly.
I looked around for my suitcase and realised that my father had brought it to the car without me noticing.
Embarrassed, I flushed. I must have been too caught up with Chun at the moment.
“Wake up,” I chided myself mentally, “Chun’s moved on, and you have to, too. You left him, remember? He wanted a chance that you didn’t give him!”
I trailed after him, sticking my hands in my coat pockets as he moved through the crowd, paving a path for me to follow.
I was silent throughout the ride, and when we reached out destination, I got out without a word.
I didn’t dare to say anything; for fear that I might screw up. I might slip and tell him I’d missed him this whole month, or trip up and let him know how much I still loved him. I might screw up and end up kissing him.
He was marrying my sister. I couldn’t let anything happen.
“Ella,” he breathed. It was a statement, and answer to the calls of my desire.
I ducked my head into my scarf and avoided his heated gaze.
“Ella,” he said again, and I snapped my gaze back up.
“What is it,” I quipped, pretending to be irritated. I couldn’t let him see my weakness.
Softly, he asked if I had missed him. Then he told me the past month had been hell without me.
I closed my eyes and turned away.
I couldn’t bear to listen to what he had to say.
Lies, my mind screamed – lies.
I took a deep breath and felt my blood race through my veins, marathon runners whose steps ran steady with the pulse of my heart.
“Chun,” I said evenly, holding half of my breath, “We both know you’ve moved on. So why not we just stop making life difficult for me and wish you all the best for your wedding?”
There, I’d said it. This was probably the closest to screwing up I could get.
“We? I’ve moved on? Me?” his voice was heightening, and I recognized his tone. He was mad. “Does that mean you haven’t moved on, Ella? Does it? Because I sure as damned hell haven’t moved on!”
He exploded in my face, throwing his hands in the air like he was giving up on our love, letting in fly to the heavens.
This thought provoked me so much that I grabbed at his hands and pulled them down, staring at our enclosed fists, fingers weaving into each other.
“Chun,” I whispered, more to myself than to anyone else.
I tightened my fingers around his, desperate to keep the love in, however much was left of it didn’t matter.
“I haven’t moved on, Ella, I’ve been pining for you these last few months.”
I winged a silent prayer to God to help me keep my self control, and I closed my eyes as a last bid to keep myself from staring into his soul.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss on my forehead, a benediction.
“It’s been hell without a best friend to help me go by. Besides –”
“No, Chun,” I murmured softly.
I pulled my hands out of his slowly, registering what he had just said.
I unfolded my fingers one by one and let go of his lean ones.
I pressed my fingers against his curled ones and unraveled them, spreading his palm out as though in a prayer for blessing.
I did this to both his hands until they were spread out, and then I did the same.
I could almost see the love I had for him struggling to stay put.
But then I realised he never loved me.
I didn’t see it there. It was long gone.
I pressed a hand to the swell of my lips and let my first tear slip. And when I lost control, I ran.
---
I know, I know! I'm so sorry for breaking your hearts again but this time I promise, good stuff to come in two chapters' time! I know and I can promise because I already wrote it! Good stuff, I promise. Please hang in there I don't want to lose readers!!!
I love all of you!