| Fan Fiction |
by heartsong
*
Review, for Culmination
Written by Lixiangqingren (http://luckydays-starry-sky.com)
Story URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/Culmination
Title - 9/10
I love your title, I really do. One-word titles always get me, you know? It relates a lot to your story too, which is a bonus because usually whenever I read stories, the titles have nothing to do with anything. I took off one mark because, although it's a good title, it lacked a little bit of a spark. It's a tougher word, so sometimes people don't know what it means. But that's all. :)
Poster - 8/10
The poster is nice, however, I must say that the background kind of threw my off course. For a poster like the one you're using now, I'd suggest that the background be a similar colour. At first glance, the contrast works quite well, but as you keep looking at it, perhaps the background should have been kept at a more neutral tone, like that grayish one used for the poster. But other than that, it was fine.
Foreword - 7/10
Well, the foreword was really well-written. I'm happy because I usually give out horribly low marks for this section whenever I do a review (I'm sure you'd know what I mean). Although this was really well-written and everything is formatted neatly and it's easy to read, the originality part lowered your marks a bit. The first impression of your story is one that has been heard about before, but for some reason, I still wanted to continue reading. Maybe that's because I know you and I know that your stories always turn out great (and that there's always something more when I continue).
Plot - 15/20
This is rather hard to give some more comments because the previous section along with the next section is kind of interconnected. Really, the only thing I took marks off for was the originality part. Of course, aspects of the story have been used a lot. For example, Chun and Ella are best friends and Ella has fallen in love with him. However, Chun falls in love with Ella's sister, Ariel. Since Ella, being the way she is, doesn't want to hurt her sister, she steps back and suffers alone. However, again the eating problem was a shocker. When I first read it, I had to read it again and again and again because I couldn't believe someone had actually written about it. Don't get me wrong, it was beautifully done and I wouldn't have had it any other way. It just was, like I said, quite the shocker.
Originality - 9 (+2) /15
Yes, unfortunately, I had to dock off marks here. And you know why. The plot is rather overused, with the whole sisterly-fight over the same man. However, I did give you some bonus points (as you can see with the +2). Why? Well, because the whole thing with Ella's eating problem was pretty unique. Maybe it's because I haven't been around Winglin too often lately, but I haven't seen something written like that just yet. So kudos to you!
Spelling/Grammar - 10/10
As far as I know, I didn't see any grammar or spelling mistakes. I've gone through it just now and I didn't see any. So bravo!
Writing Style - 13/15
I docked off a few marks because, well, to be honest, towards the end it was getting a little draggy. I felt that there was more included than there needed to be. But that's okay! I loved it anyway.
Overall Enjoyment - 9/10
Yes, so I loved it, sue me. :P One mark off because of what I mentioned above (points to the 'draggy' comment). Other than that, it was very enjoyable and I'd definitely recommend it to a friend who needed a good read. Good job, Jollin! (And don't judge me because this is actually an honest review, I'm not sugar-coating anything.^^ Love you~!)
Total - 82/100
Reviewer's Notes: I've done this review only because Lia, who is a wonderful writer and a friend of mine, has been bugging me about it for quite some time now, lol. Again, I will not accept any more review requests.