Fan Fiction |
by BBG and LL
I guessed our love is over. Because you go your way, and I’m still confused which way to go. Without you guiding my path, the road seems harder than before. I’m still confused who I’m missing. Weird isn’t it? Somehow the feelings of Gill and Gillian toward me brought me some frustration.
Do I love Gill or Gillian? I asked myself this question so many time and yet, finally I found my answer. Every time she look into my eyes, I feel like she need me. I feel like I’m the one she’s looking for and the one who can protect her for the rest of my life. I thought the feeling will fade away when I walked out of that hospital that night. But it didn’t.
I followed everywhere she goes. I saw her living happily with Ed which makes me feel like I’m abandon.
Have you ever love somebody so much it makes you cry. Have you ever need something so bad that you can’t seems to sleep at night. Have you ever try to say something but the words don’t come out right. Have you ever? I did. I wanted to come up to Gillian and tell her that I love her. But I never has the courage to do so. Funny isn’t it? I bet people won’t believe me when I said I’m scare of getting lost in love.
Have you ever fall in love, falling in love so bad that you do anything to make them understand? Have you ever had someone, steal your heart away. You do anything to make them feel the way you felt. The love I had for Gill isn’t deep as the love I has for Gillian. I always thought that I love Gill more than Gillian. I always thought that the love I has for Gillian is only a crush. But I’m wrong.
Life is so weird sometimes that you want to scold at god for making your life so difficult. When you thought that she is yours and she will never leave you, he smack into your head with a big change. He make you lost her and makes you feel like you can’t live without her. Right now, I feel like I’m a loser. Before, I never talk about love and now, all I think about is her. I want to snap my fingers and telling myself to get out of there. But it feel like it’s a spell. I can’t run away from it.
3 years later in the disco bar…
The lights swarmed around me and the clamor blast in my ears. It might have been music, but I didn't know. The vociferous crowds nosily screaming out load having fun fill with laughers.
“What’s up babe. Are you feeling lonely tonight?” The girl approached me while I was sitting thinking about Gillian. She wrapped her arm around my neck as I turned around. She looks gorgeous, and yet very hot.
“’Sup boo. Yeah, I’m feeling lonely tonight. Are you gonna make me feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world tonight?” I flirted as I started a kiss.
I guessed my traditional style of guy is gone. I don’t even care now anyway. What if I’m that kind of guy? It doesn’t bring me any happiness in the past. And so I decided to be a player.
I’m sitting in a corner of the disco bar enjoying my drink and also what I called “one night stand”. My life is no different from any guys around my age, going out and having fun ever since Gillian with Ed. I thought that I would enjoy living my life like this, but I’m wrong. I just feel like something is missing in my life and that is Gillian. People always thought that I am an ardent player. But does anybody understand about how I feel and what I really want?
I was kissing and I saw her. She stand there glancing as me as she passed by. “What is she doing here?” I asked myself that. I immediate push the girl out and start walking toward Gillian.
“Gillian, what are you doing here?” I asked Gillian. She turned around with her smirk.
“What the hell do you think I’m doing here? I should the be one who asking you why are you here? And why the hell did you kiss that girl? My sister just passed away about half a year and you sitting here kissing another girl? I wondered to myself that if my sister love the wrong person.” She stated as she push my hand off her arm and walked away.
Her attitude had changed. She never talk to me like that before. She always talk to me soft and sweet and now she have some kind of attitude that she give toward Edison in the pass. She talk to me like she talk to Edison in the past. It seems like she hate me. But I didn’t do anything wrong though. Or maybe I just kissed that girl and she jealous? No, of course not. I never feel that she love me, how can she be jealous about it.
I laugh slightly as I pressed my nose, “So how’s you and Edison going?” I asked her.
“We’re fine. Of course we are fine when we didn’t see your face.” She exclaimed and walk away.
I just see her back from far away and I feel like she’s leaving me forever. Those words she just stated give me the pain to my heart and my soul. “Gillian, you leaving forever girl.” I whispered and I walked away.
[END OF NIC’S P.O.V]
[GILLIAN’S P.O.V.]
I got to admit that I was bit jealous when I see he kissed that girl. I don’t know why but it hurts seeing him kissed another girl in front of my face. I thought that when I see him again, we might still can be friend. But I can’t control my feelings.
Did I choose the right choice when I agreed to be by Edison’s side? I don’t know why but in the pass 3 months, I’m still missing Nic. I feel like I’m using Edison. Using him as the cargo to hold on while I’m lost and flowing in the middle of the sea.
My tears start to fall down when I walk away from Nic. It feel like each step I walked will separate the relationship between me and him. I didn’t mean to say the words I said. “I love you Nic.” I whispered as I walked away.
[END OF GILLIAN’S P.O.V]
Ok, I just want to clear up something. Gillian accept Edison’s proposal because she feel like all the things she did for him in the pass, she need to make it up. Because he almost lost his life for her, she need to give her life to him. But truly inside, she love Nic. Well as far as I know right now, she love truly love Nic. But it might got change maybe later in the story as we go along.
And for Nic, the reason he act like that is because he want to forget about Gillian. He want to use the other girls and using his “one night stand” to forget about Gillian and moving on with his life. But does it seems to work?
Anyway comment? Like I promised in the last chapter, I will try to update this fast as soon as I have the feelings. But is almost end. I think 3 or 4 more chapters will end this fic.
[WRITTEN : BBG]
[8-24-04]
[8:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time]