| Fan Fiction |
by j.v.L
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~JaeJoong~
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I was sitting in the livingroom, Trying to understand what had just happened. She has pushed me away and obviously she knew what she was doing cause she even said my name. I can't deny the fact that I was hurt and I can't deny the fact that I was at loss, shocked. I thought.. that I would at least be her first priority.. that she wanted me to be there for her..
I sighed as I felt the wound of mine sting a bit as I laid back on the couch and stared up in the ceiling. Even if the small pain from the wound was screaming, I couldn't really feel it cause the pain in my heart was taking over..
"Hey Jae..."
I didn't react on Yunho's words but I still listened to him
"Don't.. take it to the heart. I think we just have to understand her you know?" Yunho said and tried to comfort me
I sighed
"I know.. I just.. can't help but worry.. That's all" I mumbled
"Just.. let the it be. I'm sure she'll be fine soon. Let her.. fight against the memories.. I'm sure she will be able to do it.." Yunho said
I sighed and stood up. I couldn't help but sigh , shrug, closing my eyes. I don't really know how to react in this kind of situation..
"I'm off to bed guys. Leave the livingroom will ya?" Kibum smiled as he entered
"What are you so happy about?" Yunho asked
"Nothing. I'm just happy that I'm seeing her fighting against it for the first time without relying on you guys. Very good" He smiled
"You don't know what you're talking about" I snapped coldly
"Whoa whoa.. Chill it man.. Gosh that gave me chills.." Kibum shivered
I glared at him
"Look, easy. I think it's good that she is trying on her own. Relying on others makes you vulnerable. Not to mention weak"
"She was weak from the beginning. She needs help to build herself up" I said and shot him another death glare
"I'm not agreeing with you on that term. She needs to pull herself out of the shit if she wants to become strong. That's the only way she will learn how to defend herself" Kibum said
I took one step closer to Kibum
"She needs time. She needs to heal first. Heal her wounds before she can work on her memories" I snapped
"If you ask me, Seems like the wounds are already healed. But the damage inside of her is something that not even you can do anything about. You have no idea what she's going through and the only way to get through it is for her to pull herself out of it. And there is nothing you can do about it except standing aside and watching her" Kibum said
Without even myself prepared or noticing, I instantly grabbed his collar, and with speed and strength, I pushed him towards the wall and a big crash was heard. The vase broke but like I could care less at the moment
I wanted to strangle him..
I glared at his coldhearted face but Kibum on the other hand was smirking at me
"Too much of the truth?" He asked
I let go of his collar and punched him across the face and he landed on the floor while holding his chin. I breathed heavily
"don't you dare talk about her like that. You have no idea what she's going through" I shouted
"And you're saying you are?" Kibum said and raised an eyebrow as he got up on his feet
"Hey guys.. chill .. Just.. no fight alright?" Yunho tried to come between us
"What's happening? We heard..." Yoochun started as the other guys were right behind him but he shut up immediately as he saw the scene in front of him
"What's going on?" Changmin asked as he looked at Kibum
"Leave her alone" I said
"I am. The question is if you are since you seem to be so madly in love with her that you can't even see what she truly needs. Even if it's killing you, sometimes time is all that is needed. And right now if we're looking at this stupid situation, you can really see that the one who is suffering is not really her. It's you" Kibum said as he wiped away the blood that was dripping from the corner of his mouth
"Mwoh?" All of the guys chorused, I on the other hand stayed quiet
"The one who's vulnerable is you. You have lost the position you once had. And for what? For the girl you've fallen in love with. You're the one who's the vulnerable right now. She can work and fight her way through her hardships but you.. I doubt it. Love makes you weak. You loose your strength and the weakness that wasn't there before is right in front of you now" Kibum said
I stared at him as I felt the cold sweat breaking out on my back
Kibum approached me and he was soon standing right in front of me, eye to eye
"If I ask you now JaeJoong. If she told you to leave her alone when her life is depending on it, in order to save yourself, would you leave or would you stay?" Kibum asked
I didn't answer
"See.. that's where it is starting. Your heart makes you vulnerable. Cause even if she knows what she is doing, you wouldn't be able to leave her even if she requested it"
My anger broke out as my eyes turned black and I punched Kibum again across the face as I felt him punching me back. We soon landed on the floor, wrestling as well as punching while the other guys were shouting us to stop
"COME ON MAN! STOP!!!" Yunho shouted
Junsu tried to jump in to break off, and Changmin tried to pull me away but since I was so taken with the thought of killing kibum right here and now, no one was able to stop me. I was blinded with the fact that Kibum was right. He knew he was right. Falling in love is a weakness, not good anywhere. Especially not when you're in a mission, needs to protect someone. We all knows how it ends, someone always die..
"AM I RIGHT?! YOU'RE SO FREAKING BLIND THAT YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO SEE THE TRUTH! YOU'RE WEAK!!!" Kibum shouted angrily
I punched him across the face again as I felt the heart starting to race, The adrenaline was soon at it's max as I was punching the shithead in front of me
"WHAT'S GOING ON!! STOP IT!"
Minji came running as she saw Kibum and I breaking the furniture everywhere, with the guys trying to break the fight but it was pretty much impossible
"JAEJOONG! STOP! STOP!!!!" She shouted
I couldn't hear. I was so mad that I blocked any kinds of sounds around me
"JAEJOONG! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Blinded by the hate I was having inside of me, hating the fact that Kibum was right about everything I didn't see that Yunho had dragged Kibum out of the way and Minji was suddenly in my arms hugging me tightly. As I recognized her scent I felt my breathing becoming normal and I recognized her long beautiful hair, her tiny and fragile body hugging and holding me close to her. I softened up and I responded the touch that could easily move me with one single touch
"Let's go and get you cleaned up" Yunho said as he took Kibum to the kitchen who was glaring at me
I didn't care and I didn't care if anyone else was in the room
"Hyung.. Let's go and get you washed up" Junsu mumbled and tried to break me off of Minji
I reacted immediately and stared at him and Junsu backed away as he saw it.
"Fine.. Bleed if you want. Don't tell me to donate blood for you" Junsu rolled his eyes
Minji soon pulled away from me and I saw her staring at me, touching my face everywhere as I saw tears streaming down. She didn't sob but kept looking at me and I was at loss since i had no idea what to say. I couldn't feel my wounds and bruises aching cause the only thing that was aching was the sight of seeing her cry. Not even the wound on my stomach was affecting me
"Come.. we need.. to clean you up"
Her voice was shaking but she still managed to talk. Dazed, I followed her to her room where Yoochun had already put a towel, first aid kit and a few band aids. Minji sat down on her bed and I sat down as well. Yoochun soon came in with a bowl of hot water and left us as soon as he had placed the bowl on the night desk. Minji took off my shirt as she soon started to take care of me.
I didn't dare to say anything cause I knew that I was the one who was at fault. Minji on the other hand was just.. quiet and quietly taking care of me. She washed all the blood of as she was checking the bruises. She then started to apply the anti bacterium cream and then put patch over it.
She kept taking care of me until all the wounds were patched and wrapped in band aid. She then went to her toilet to squeeze the towel with the blood out and wash away the water that was now more blood-water. I didn't say anything and as soon as she came back she just looked at me
"What.. was the fight about?" She asked quietly
I didn't want to tell her. Looking at her tired and exhausted face, the dark marks under her eyes since she hadn't been able to sleep so well and then fighting against the painful memories..
Kibum was right.. I'm selfish
I shook my head
"It was nothing.. I just..lost the control" I mumbled with guilt
I looked down on my hands and let out a deep breath. Soon I felt her crawling herself up close to me wrapping her tiny arms around my waist from behind and she rested on my back
"Don't.. injure yourself" She whispered
I sat up a bit with her still holding me tightly from behind and spun my head a bit in order to see her
"I can't feel the pain.. It's ok" I whispered
"But I do" She said and looked up at me
For the 1st time after so many days I was close to her again and my heart was beating nervously. I was feeling the ticklish and nervous feeling about what I should do now in order to make it up for everything I had caused.
her nosetip slightly brushing my own as I could feel her warm breathing against my skin..
I couldn't control the desire anymore as I slowly leaned closer to her and took her lips with my own. She responded with trembling lips, nervously as she kissed me back and I took it easy since I didn't want to be rough and scare her
I twisted myself around as she let go of me and she followed me as I leaned forward and she leaned back onto the bed, soon lying on her back
I continued to kiss her as I felt her arms playing with my neck, her fingers twirling my hair. I couldn't help but smile while kissing and soon I felt her smiling too
I pulled away from her as she touched my face slightly and tilted her head to the side
"Not bad for a guy who has a swollen lip after a fight" She smiled
I chuckled
"desire takes over the pain" I snickered as I planted another kiss on her lips