| Fan Fiction |
by j.v.L
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I woke up in the middle of the night as I felt something strange lying next to me. I wasn't resting the head on a pillow.. but on something that was moving. I opened my eyes to feel JaeJoong's breathing on me and I looked up with a smile as I saw him sleeping quietly while holding me tightly in his arms.
I couldn't feel more protected and loved as I was in his arms. I smiled in the dark as I leaned forward and kissed him on his lips
As I was about to pull away I felt his hands soon moving and he kept my head on place in order to continue kissing me
I couldn't help but to laugh as I pulled away from him
"I can live with that.. Waking up with a kiss from you" He mumbled as he opened his eyes
I chuckled
"Sorry to wake you"
He moved the hair out of my eyes as I started to feel warm inside. Bubbling, ticklish and.. somehow.. nervous. I chuckled nervously and sat up . I looked at the clock to see it was 2:46 am
"You.. feel better now?" He asked as he sat up as well
I nodded slowly
"I feel exhausted. My mind is and my body is just tired but I'm ok. I needed some rest. Thank you" I whispered
JaeJoong smiled
"Good.."
the silence took over as I felt my heart starting to beat faster. I don't know why but whenever JaeJoong was this close to me, I couldn't control the heartbeats of mine and I couldn't help but to blink my eyes twice as much than what I usually do. Seriously, this was an exciting feeling but.. yet.. frightening
"You seem to be far away again.. Tell me what you're thinking" JaeJoong whispered as he hugged me from behind, pulled both of us back as he leaned against the wall and me resting onto his chest
"Uhm nothing.."
"Doesn't seem like nothing to me" He said softly
His soft voice gave me chills down my spine as I felt my heart skip a few beats. I started to shake a bit due to the close skinship we were having, not to mention that I could feel his heart beating. It was slow, normal.. not like mine, beating rapidly as if it was trying to make a beatbox sound..
"Tell me what you're thinking. I don't like.. you.. being this quiet"
"Wae?" I asked as I looked up with his hands around my stomach
I intertwined my fingers with him as I waited for him to answer
"It's making me frustrated. I don't like.. not knowing what you're thinking. You're so hard for me to read.. your facial expressions.. your actions.. It's all a mystery and I'm used to .. knowing.. what other people are thinking"
"DOes that mean that I'm.. weird?" I asked
He laughed quietly as he planted a kiss on my forehead
"No. You're just. . special.. in your own way"
I closed my eyes as I rested onto his chest again
"So.. how's the head? and the mind? memories?"
I froze and my body became paralyzed as I heard JaeJoong ask me that question but I remained calm. I didn't want to freak out cause.. even thought he memories were painful. I knew that eventually I had to face them sooner or later.. But it's just that they had been haunting me 24/7 ever since I came home from the hospital and yesterday, when I freaked out, I couldn't really help it. The memories were too strong, too real.. and going through that again, it felt like my body was crouching, making it's way back into it's shell and I didn't .. want that
"We don't have to talk about it.. I just.. thought.. you.. I'm sorry" JaeJoong said as he hugged me tightly, resting his chin on my shoulder
I shook my head
"I know..it's ok.. I know you're just.. concerned and worried" I whispered
JaeJoong sighed
"I really don't like.. that you were going behind my back Minji ah~~" JaeJoong said
I stopped breathing
"Junsu told me.. and Kibum.. and I haven't.. sent them to the hospital yet.." He mumbled
"Mianhe~~ It was me.. I forced them and.." I started but JaeJoong covered my mouth with his hands
"I know that it was both of you. You wanted it and they wanted it. Well in Kibum's case, I think he was the one who persuaded you and being the person you are, eagerly not able to wait until you get better you were immediately hooked on it. I understand but.. can't you at least... wait until you get better?"
I looked back at him a bit surprised. His tone was more soft this time, as if he was really considering to let me fight which was a bit surprise for me since he was so against it when I first asked me
"Does it mean you're training me?" I asked bluntly
He looked into my eyes for a few seconds before letting out a sigh
"No.. Yunho.. Yoochun.. or Changmin. I won't let Junsu or Kibum touch you"
"But what about you?"
He shook his head
"I can't do it"
"Why not?" I asked and pulled away and spun around to face him properly
"Cause.. I'm scared of hurting you"
I raised an eyebrow
"And you think the other guys don't?" I asked
He sighed
"It's not the same" He mumbled
"Not the same?"
He looked at me
"It's different"
I looked at him. I positioned myself in front of him, crossing my legs as I looked at him. He sat up as well and looked into my eyes
"I don't understand. Why is it different? I thought all of you cared about me the same way.." I said
He chuckled
"We all do. More than you can imagine.. it's just that.. my heart..doesn't feel like their heart does"
"Your.. heart?" I asked
He nodded
He soon caressed my cheek before leaning in, kissing me. He pulled away after a few seconds, resting his forehead against my own and looked into my eyes
"It's because.. I love you"
My heart stopped beating as my blood froze. I stopped breathing as I stared at him
"L o o o ve?" I stuttered
He nodded
"I don't see you as a sister Minji. Not like the other guys does. I see you more than that. A girl that manages to make me feel different whenever I think about you, being around you. A girl that makes me go breathless with just one single smile and able to make me happy whenever you're around me. Not to mention that I am able to kiss you, hug you and.. have you in my arms.."
I stared at him
Love..
Love..
I didn't say anything as I kept staring at him. Love, a strong word and I knew that there was a big meaning behind it. A powerful word that is only used whenever you can't control the feelings inside of you. But there are many definitions of Love. But the love that JaeJoong were explaining, how come.. it was the right words, the perfect words to describe my own feelings as well?
"It would.. be good.. if you could say something now" JaeJoong whispered as he pulled away from me
I kept staring at him
"Minji?" He asked again, a little afraid
"I.. think I love.. you too" I stuttered
I saw JaeJoong becoming paralyzed as he stared at me
"Mwoh?"
I looked at him
"Everything you said just now.. was the perfect words to describe my own. But it's just that.. I become nervous whenever I'm around you. But even though I get nervous, I also get excited.. and.. uhm.. I feel.. so safe in your arms. So loved and so.. warm. I like.. being close to you and I don't.. like being away from you. I like listening to you when you're singing and listening to your heartbeats and... uh.. I don't know.. I think I can go on forever describing my feelings.. But I have no idea how to explain it cause feeling it is not the same thing as telling and uhm.. I don't know and yo..."
JaeJoong interrupted me and kissed me passionately as he pulled me closer to him. I felt myself loosen up as my heartbeats increased. I put my arms around his neck, twirling his hair and I felt him wrapping around my waist
He soon turned over and I was lying down on the bed as he was lying on top of me. I felt the kiss deepen, not to mention that my body were becoming hot..
After a few minutes both of us had to pull away to catch our breath. I knew I was red in the face cause the warmth was increasing as I kept kissing him and his bodyheat didn't help that much either
"Wow" I said
he nodded
"I agree" He chuckled
He leaned in again to kiss me and soon I felt his lips travel down my chin and down to my neck. The ticklish feeling came back to me again and I couldn't find myself to.. stop responding to it. I was.. taken. I was sensitive to his touch and I couldn't help but feel the strange sensation going through my body
Soon I felt JaeJoong taking off his tee and his upper body was bare. When I felt his hands travel up on my back I froze and I stopped kissing him. He pulled away and looked at me, observing me closely
"Don't be.. afraid" He mumbled
"What are you doing to me?" I whispered
He smiled
"It's you. not me" He said
"You're the one who's making me feel so weird inside and hot and you..."
He chuckled as he took my lips again
I felt myself starting to tremble a bit as JaeJoong hugged me close to his body
"It's ok.. we can stop if you want.." He said and looked at me with a soft expression
I tilted my head to the side and looked at him closely. He didn't say anything for a few minutes and I started to sense what this was going to lead to. But from what I've seen, this isn't not like trafficking.. It was .. more beautiful. It was.. tender and soft. You didn't feel disgust, afraid or frightened. You were excited, curious and.. you were more sensitive
"Minji? We.. I .. uh.. Understand you.. We.. don't.."
We didn't have to but seeing JaeJoong being so loving and tender towards me, knowing that he just a few seconds ago confessed, how could I have the heart to not wanting to be with him..?
I felt my desire grow as I knew that i didn't want him to stop, didn't want him to leave..
"Minji?.. Did I scare you? Minji... s say something.. You'r..."
I stopped him from talking by kissing him and he was taking it easy this time, very gentle and was trying to understand what I was trying to do..
"Minji?"
He pulled away and looked at me seriously as if he was afraid that he had pushed me into this, making me feel pressure. I got up on my elbows and kissed him gently
"I love you JaeJoong.. I really do" I whispered
That was enough for JaeJoong to understand as he took my lips with his own and kissed me passionately..
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