A way to happiness (NC-17) [COMPLETED]
by Kinra
Chapter 13
Waking up
Shadows were sliding down the buildings and disappearing from time to time when cars were passing and illuminating them. The dark alley looked creepy and my skin had Goosebumps.
I was scolding myself in my mind for everything.
Maybe if I wouldn’t applied for that scholarship I wouldn’t have had to go through all these stupid things: to wash piles of dishes with my already plankton looking hands at café, to study the subject I never admired, to meet the man of my life and to get dumped by him…and now to feel lost, scared and not needed in this huge and lonely world.
I tried to think that the life at my hometown was better, because I needed to have a shelter.
But I doubt it was like that.
After my parents divorced, everything changed. My mother had no money and she worked a lot until she found older guy with more perspectives in life. I never saw my father again, and the last memory I have of him was at court. I pleaded him to take me with him no matter where he was going, but his car drove away and I was left crying on the street, watching him slowly disappearing from my life. I tried to live one week with grandmother, then with aunt and other relatives, because I wanted to avoid the stranger at my house, and the new life I could not get used to.
But no one really cared that we, my brother and me, were lost children with no place to truly call home. That’s why we were so close, because we had nothing more than each other to rely on. How could I forget how our days passed together playing just with plain imagination, thinking we were pirates wondering through the oceans and hiding our gold; our days when we stole food from the markets and eat it under the bridge; and nights, when we watched the starry sky, whishing for our dreams to come true…
Yes, I had dreams, I wanted to sing. To sing for people and make them calm and happy as I was making my brother after singing him a lullaby before sleep.
Smile turned up on my face. I was missing him. I was missing the time when I felt free like back then. Somehow forgetting everything that’s important, giving in and lastly drinking made me hallow and I was mad at my self even more. How could I act like this? How I could be that selfish and forgot that there’s something more in life than living for your self, for money, fun or even love. But I screwed up even there. I never believed in love, and even if I would, love should be a nice and warm thing to remember. But I tried to erase it instead of remembering with nostalgia. Moreover, I could see more clearly now, that Changmin never actually left me. Yes, he had that bet, but he told me about it, he just lied the part about what they were about. And I didn’t even let him to explain.
I started to regret everything.
How could I be so wrong?
Then I took my cell phone, which seemed not used for years, and saw a few calls from my brother and mother, and twenty nine calls from Changmin…Maybe he really did care…-Hey are you sleeping! We are already here!-Eulgia shouted into my ear.
-I need to go home,-I said,-I need to go.
-No way, they are already coming, look!
And I saw ‘Cassiopeia’ club before my eyes and two men walking towards us with self confident expression, with faces that I already knew…