| Fan Fiction |
by Kinra
-Okay, everyone to your positions, and remember don’t come out until I’ll give the sign! - Jusnsu ordered to everyone.
-What sign?-I asked.
-Duh, the lights, A! I will turn on the lights!
-Oh, okay…
-You know what to do next…if you’ll fuck up this, I will never ever do anything for you again!-he squealed looking through the window,-okay, they’re coming, they’re coming, what do I do?
-Calm down Junsu, we are ready, Micky patted his shoulder.
-Alright, now hide under the table! - He came back to his military officer voice.
We squat silently waiting for our star to arrive. Then suddenly room lightened up and we burst out shouting happy birthday! It was a bit funny since we didn’t manage to say it one time, so we started singing happy b-day song to a boy, who was a bit taller than me with curly brown hair, big dark eyes, and I have to admit, quite famine features. Anyway he looked adorable and when he entered the room other four guys came after him.
-Hyungs, you shouldn’t have tried so much, - he said with brightest smile I’ve ever seen.
-Our maknae needs the best to grow up big and strong, - Yunho suddenly appeared holding a wrapped box, -Happy birthday, Taemin!-he said hugging him and giving his present.
-I had to give him my present first!-Junsu said holding something long.
-What’s this, you bought me a tree?
-No, it’s baseball stick,-Junsu said wrapping the paper away, - I’ll teach you how to play it!
-Oh, hyung that’s great!-Taemin said coming closer to hug Junsu.
-Hem, hem, - I heard Jae coughing.
Everyone turned around and faced us.
-Is she my present? You didn’t have to bring her for me, hyung, even if from today I’m adult, I don’t want to have sex with the person I don’t know.
Yunho laughed patting Taemin’s shoulder.
-You heard that, HYUNG? He doesn’t want her too, - he said.
-Okay, let’s ignore this right now,-he inhaled deeply before speaking, - Taemin, here’s our present, he handed him the box wrapped in yellow shining paper, - and this is my girlfriend Alexandra, please respect her and cherish as your own sister, he said to everyone.
-Just call me Alex,-I bowed,-And Happy birthday Taemin, - I said and kissed his check.
-Kamsamnida! - He turned red and bowed instantly.
I turned around to let others give the presents, but then my eyes met his.
I don’t know from where he came, and why I didn’t notice him earlier. He headed towards me, with every step destroying our distance, and I begun to panic…Will he hug me? Can I answer the same?
But he just passed me like an empty spot…
-Happy birthday, Taemin, be a good boy,-Changmin said and handed the present.
My jaw clung open, I don’t know what expression was on my face, but I felt sick, I felt like throwing up.
-Are you alright? - JaeJoong asked holding my hand.
-Yeah, where’s the bathroom, - I said and pressed a hand to my mouth.
-First door on the left, should I take you there?
I didn’t listen to him anymore and run to the direction he told me, because I felt my breakfast coming up my throat.As soon as I opened the door the first thing I saw was a sink, so I didn’t bothered to look for anything else and threw over it, trying to cough out everything from my throat.
It was disgusting and I couldn’t breathe normally.
I felt someone’s hands taking my wet hair and stroking my back.
-I’m sorry, just leave me alone, I look quite pathetic, and I don’t need my boyfriend to be disgusted with me,-I said to JaeJoong.
-I should be the one who’s sorry, I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I just want you to know that I truly regret everything I did, even if it was misunderstandings, I did hurt you, but if it makes you feel better, It did hurt me too…I’m sorry Alex, I hope you will be happy,-Changmin said.
-I…I…
-Shhh…Don’t say anything. Jae is a good man; he’ll take care of you. But if you’ll need anything, remember that you have a friend that will always stand by your side;-he said putting my hand on his chest.
I simply nodded because tears were rolling down my cheeks, making lump in my throat again.
-What have you done to her?!-JAe burst in.
-It’s okay, JaeJoong, everything’s fine…I jus didn’t feel well, but now it’s okay…Ch-Changmin helped, so you can let go of him…please,- I said to JaeJoong, who was already thinking about a strong punch.
-Are you sure you’re okay?-He asked coming closer to me.
-Yes, now please leave me alone, I want to wash up.
They finally left me alone, actually I didn’t cared how I looked, I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Anyway I rinsed my mouth and washed my face.
As I raised my face I met a strange women staring at me from the mirror. The expensive dress made her look weird, because she herself didn’t match it. Her big and blue eyes made her look like a Gollum from lord of rings. They looked wet and somehow sad, as if she drowned and lost something, but wasn’t she alive again standing in front of me?
I noticed how pale and skinny she looked, and now it really reminded me of a ghost that came back to life again.
-Hi, what’s up?-I said and started laughing from myself.
I left the bathroom and saw 10 guys sitting over table laughing and eating together like a real family…Even if I will never be able to be part of it, I will be happy at least to stay by their side and watch the happiness they are sharing.
‘So what’s up, A? Are we alredy cool? ‘-I thought again and smiled coming closer to the table.
The room sounded from our cheerful voices, and songs. When the 18 candles were blown up, the bottles of champagne also were uncorked.
-Lets play a game!-Junsu squealed again.
-It’s called beat up Junsu! - Micky screamed, - Rules are simple, and the one who will kick the hardest will win!
-I’m in!-Changmin and JaeJoong said.
-No, no, no! Such game doesn’t even exist, you jerks! - Junsu tried to defend himself, - Lets play truth or dare!
We sat up in circle leaving an empty bottle in the middle.
-Taemin we’ll start from you what you are choosing truth or dare?-Junsu began again.
-Uh…erm…I guess truth.
-Okay, what’s your favorite hyung?
-I like all of you, - Taemin smiled brightly.
Junsu rolled his eyes
-Yeah right…you could at least mention the best friend of yours, who bothers to do silly parties.
-You said it yourself, it’s silly, means not worth mentioning you, - Yoochun took a chance to laugh at Junsu, - Now roll the bottle, Tae.
The top of the bottle was circling around us until it finally stopped pointing at Yoochun.
-Kiss the person you don’t like the most here, - Taemin said.
-I refuse!
-You can’t it’s a game!-Junsu said.
-Oh, you asked it for yourself now, - Yoochun said and took Junsu’s cheeks in his hands giving him a peck on his lips, - okay where’s the bucket? Somehow I feel an urge to vomit.
-Jerk! - Junsu squealed and hit Yoochun’s shoulder.
-You came with the idea of this game, so don’t complain, now roll, - Yunho said laughing.
But this time the bottle pointed at me.
-Oh, we have to think of something good…What about stripping? Or no, no, give us booty shake! No. Kiss me! Yeah, that’s a good idea- Junsu laughed, but Jaejoong, who was sitting on his left, hit his head.
-Junsu I didn’t even choose dare yet and you are already telling me to do staff…that’s why I definitely choose truth, - I said.
-Okay, then I have a good question!-he said still thinking, - What if…what if on the day we met, I wouldn’t have come and you wouldn’t have heard those stuff…would you still be with Changmin? Or would you have left him because of Jae? - He asked straightforward.
I was completely turned aback I didn’t knew myself what I would have done, but now everyone was starring at me and words themselves popped up from my mouth.
-I would have stayed loyal, - I simply said, - I would have stayed with the person, whom I met and fell in love first.
Silence was vibrating in the air, or was it high voltage, coming from stress. I new I hurt Jae’s feelings. Just few hours ago I confessed him, and now I was saying that I would be with the other man, with the other person I loved. Moreover I touched Changmin too mentioning the loyalty.
-Okay, now roll, - Junsu said.
At those words JaeJoong stood up and left the room. I ran after him.
-Okay, how we are supposed to play now?!- Junsu screamed.
I ignored him running down the stairs, thinking what an idiot I am, when finally I reached the warm night air. JaeJoong was standing in front of me, with his back turned to me.
-Jae, I’m sorry, you know it’s truth, and I can not lie, but this doesn’t change anything.
He suddenly took a can that lied on the ground completely forgotten.
-Roll, - he said.
I rolled the can, but it stopped at me again.
-Truth…- I said.
-Alexandra, Who’s in your heart, who’s the person that you’ll follow in pain or in joy, no matter what happens, who’s the one that you love?-He asked me.
The grasshoppers were playing their violins. I saw fireflies shining around the trees, like small lanterns in the dark, illuminating just the live concert of nature, set up on the plain green grass that actually meant nothing to us. Someday I will be under it, under tons of soil and ground, listening to other small beings that just live their life as they do for past million years, because that’s the way it should be, that’s the way it is.
I faced two eyes, which desperately looked for answers. Glittering because of the reflections, they seemed so pure and I knew that even if I would have had power to harm them, it would be against my will.
-Do you know why stars begun shining above our silly heads from billion thousands kilometers away?
-No,-he said.
-I don’t know either, no one does. It’s a law of nature, that’s the only way it can be explained- I said looking up to the sky, - There are things that just are for no particular reason, just because it has to be this way. Somehow everyone’s okay without knowing why. I guess it’s the same with love. You never really know why or when you’ll fall for someone, but you just simply do. You don’t care about others, because you think that being with the person you love is the way it has to be, the way it’s suppose to be, because this is your law that you’ll follow and have no power to resist. I never really believed in love, but I guess when you fall under the spell, there’s simply no possibility to get away from it, not to mention the realization for the fact itself. When I first met you I already knew that you are something special, despite that I tried to resist and avoid my feelings, but in the end I just missed you and wanted to have you by my side even more. So little by little you became my personal drug that inspired me and the law of my life that guided me. And if my star is flying away, I’ll be sure to follow it, no matter what, because without it, there’s simply nothing else, no other meaning to stay under the empty sky.
The night sounds silenced and we did not speak either. Just listening to each others breaths, each others lives made us calm. City lights sparkled covering up stars, but there’s still was no way to handle them all, because the darker sky went the more of them appeared. Suddenly one of them started falling down the velvet sky, leaving her comrades.
-Make a wish, - I whispered.
-I already did once, and it came true, now it’s your turn, - he said taking my hand.
Finally I was able to see a smile on his face after all this evening. A smile that was brighter then anything else in this world, a smile that could make my heart beat faster, and I wished that this smile would never fade away, that I would be able to always keep it on his face as it is right now.
-Shhh, don’t tell me, it won’t come true, - he said placing a finger on my lips,- I know what you meant, you made me to believe in love at first sight,- he chuckled,- and now you won’t get away from me, because I always will stand by you, that’s a promise,- he said and leaned to kiss me.
We connected our lips for a kiss that was witnessed by the black cloak and sparkling diamonds above us; they wished for our happiness as true traitors to the lost star, which was still falling down the arch without any hope to come back…