| Fan Fiction |
by Kinra
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The streets were full of busy people, hurrying towards nowhere.
I wasn’t interested in anything that surrounded me like every day when I would simply wonder around. It was Saturday evening and actually I had no work, but Junsu was the only one who couldn’t realize it. That’s why I managed to get away unnoticed. I couldn’t stay at home, because there was simply too much pressure about that baby thing. No one ever even asked me if I want to have it, if I want to be a mother. It seemed that I just have to fulfill their needs and wishes, like it would be that simple to have a baby and new family. I’m not ready for it, aren’t I’m a kid myself now? I don’t have anything to offer to my baby neither to my so called family. I even suck at cooking, so I guess it would be easier if we just switched places, making JaeJoong mother instead.
Maybe there wasn’t any point to worry; maybe it was just my habit to make problems from nothing. But reality was giving me goose bumps all over my skin, so I couldn’t just deny this odd feeling.
I decided to ride bus number 417 that usually was driving a circle around the park, where I felt like going the most. When I bought a ticket I was quite disappointed that I wasted my money like this, because all the seats were taken. But when a couple of teenage girls attracted my attention, my disappointment soon flew away. They seemed rich, so at first it seemed strange to see such girls in a bus, but I didn’t care about they looks, what attracted my attention was a magazine they were holding. And guess what I saw on the cover? I admit it wasn’t strange to see an idol on the cover, but the headlines this time, wasn’t that often to be seen around: ”JaeJoong dating!” This is what it said. So they really do dig up everything, don’t they?
-She didn’t deserve to be with him!-one of the girls said.
-Yeah, but you have to admit, she’s quite pretty, - other replied.
-Since when do you think Tiffany is pretty?
-Excuse me, did you say Tiffany? - I interrupted.
-Yeah, don’t you know? It’s all over the newspapers, - one of the girls replied coldly.
-Can I look?-I asked, feeling how angst started boiling in my head.
-Sure, doesn’t she look like a slut in that dress? - said the girl giving me a magazine.
I saw how JaeJoong was walking in the street, hugging waist of some whore looking like girl. She looked familiar, not from magazines or TV; no…I remember this bitchy posture from somewhere else. She was… the same girl that fucked Changmin at club back then!
-This bitch, - I grinned my teeth.
-Yeah, we said exactly the same.
She already took one man away from me, but this time she won’t get away. And JaeJoong what he was thinking about?! Didn’t he tell me all that cheesy stuff, how he loves me everyday…Now wait honey, just wait and see…to cheat when I’m pregnant, and to leave me behind for a second time…no way!
I left the bus as soon as I could and headed to opposite direction. I hoped he wasn’t at least lying that he was working, because it’s not hard to find him, when his entire schedule is on the internet.
It took me about half an hour to get to the SM building. Despite that I was hesitating, I wasn’t going to make a scene at his work, neither I wanted to go somewhere I never been at least once. What if they kick me out? Or what if I’ll simply get lost? Believe me, it’s really possible with such head of mine. No, I just need to calm down. If I come this far I can at least go and see him, no one gets hurt because of that, right?
So I confidently opened the door and stepped in, but two huge men with black suits (yeah, like in M.I.B.) instantly came over to me, and I found myself backing off. Okay, we won’t come in this way. I took my cell phone and dialed Micky’s number, because I could bet, he was composing at studio as always.
-Hello?
-Hey, Micky! - I screamed relieved that he picked up the phone.
-A?
-Yeah, can you help me a bit, I’m in front of your company, but two gorilla men are blocking my way.
-Oh…well. Okay, sure...I’m coming, - he said.
Great, step one- done. Step two…Wait, what I’m going to do next?
-Hey, A! Come in, - I saw Micky holding the door after few minutes.
-Finally, do you always have this zoo at front to show your best nature side?
-Well we can’t let anyone who wants to; it would become fans meeting then. Anyway, why you’ve come here?
-I need to do something.
-Something?
-Yeah, I’ll get going now…
-Wait if you’re looking for hyung, then he’s up there, - he pointed at stairs.
-Right, I was just going to go there,- I said and turned to opposite direction,- bye,- and turned at me Micky who was still watching me.
When Yoochun disappeared from my sight I took my cell phone again. But this time I called directly to him, my sweet baby boy, who somehow accidentally forgot that is going to be a father.
-Hi, what’s wrong?-I heard Jae’s voice after long pause.
-Does something have to be wrong if I’m calling to you?
-Well…no, I just thought…
-What are you doing?
-Working, as I said…really, is something wrong?-he replied confused.
-Can I trust you? - I asked.
-Sure.
-Then…come back soon. I’ll wait for you at home...bye, - I said and hung up.
Really did I have any right to disbelief him just because of some stupid rumors? Nothing has been confirmed, and still I came here, just giving needless worries to my already aching head. Isn’t love all about trust and respect to each other? He said I can trust him, well then I will.
I nodded to myself and turned back to leave, but suddenly I heard heavy steps and saw two gorillas coming again. I don’t know why, but instantly decided to hide, since they weren’t something I wished to face. I opened the first door that came into my sight and slipped into the room.
It looked like a dressing room with lots of tabs on which expensive costumes were hanged, making it look like never ending wardrobe. I touched black velvet, white laces, brown fur, and blue silk. I wonder whose clothes it were, were they worn by other celebrities?
Suddenly doors slammed again, taking my breath away. Was it those gorilla guys again? I knew I wasn’t supposed to be here, but common it’s not a crime, right? Anyway I have to get away from here as soon as possible. But the voice that I heard from the other side of the room made me paralyzed.
-Common don’t be so shy, JaeJoong, you wasn’t like that back then.
-It’s not the right place…
-I can’t wait for you outside, I can’t come to your house, those hotels are making me sick, and wouldn’t you like a change of environment?
I couldn’t believe. I thought my ears were deceiving me, I couldn’t rely on them, so I turned to my other sense, my sight, and tried to come closer, to make those situates visible in the dark. A tall man, with black hair, white pearl skin and purple cherry lips was looking at the same bitch from magazine; she really was pretty, just like that girl said…With long dark hair, big brown eyes and cute face…What surprised me even more, was how they looked together. They seemed to fit each other, both gorgeous and famous, both from the same world. As if they really were meant to be together. I couldn’t even imagine myself standing right there beside him, beside that angel, I would just spoil the view.
Tiffany came closer to him, making the gap between them dangerously small. She leaned closer for a kiss, and he didn’t back off, otherwise, he pulled her closer to himself, kissing her lips back. I watched how they fell on those useless clothes, how they started to loose their own robes, without any hesitation, without any doubts…was he the same with me?
Was everything just sweet lies…?
I stood up, not feeling my legs; I just knew that I was moving away from this room, away from everything. The numerous doors, stairs and corridors surrounded me everywhere, blending in my eyes, until I felt the fresh breeze coming from the front door. From my exit.
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Your tender voice echoing even now...
Please, make me cry a little
I loved you...and that gentle voice, too
I loved you...and your slightly wavy hair
I loved you...and your chestnut-colored eyes
I love you...even now, I still love you
When I close my eyes, you're laughing
Just like that day, I want to pull you close
Those beautifully happy times are over
Even looking back, you're not there
I got used to „love“
Taking your falsehood for granted
Even though I knew it was a lie
In my dishonesty I pretended I didn't notice that at all
I loved you...the one who cried more easily than anyone
I loved you...pouting when I got up to my old tricks
I loved you...your willful, blazing jealousy
I love you...even though I loved you like that, too
These wounds that consumed me are still hurting
Since these will be my last tears for you
Please, make me cry, just for today
“Goodbye“- to the one I loved more than any other