| Fan Fiction |
by Kinra
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***
-All people are like this, that’s why I don’t believe it, I don’t believe that love can save us, so don’t say it to me, your sweet lies…they don’t work on me anyway. You can try your tales on them, - my mother pointed at us, - but I’m not a kid anymore! How can love save us, when our fridge is empty, how can love save us when there’s no money to pay for bills, how love can save us when all we see is this hell by our window?! Tell me how?! How…
I watched how she fell on her knees sobbing, looking so hopeless and lost…
-Now, now, there’s nothing we couldn’t solve, dear…Alex, take your brother outside, I’m sure he wants to play; it is such a good weather after a while.
-Yes, grandmother, - I replied taking my brothers arm and leaving the room.
***
This fragment of memory played in my head as a small budget movie, repeating my past, while I walked through dark and unfamiliar streets that my foot never stepped into. Where I had to go, if I was welcomed nowhere, if there were no place for me to stay…
Trees were murmuring from blowing wind, storm was definitely on her way. The summer was coming to an end, leaving just coldness and darkness. It’s not long to wait when leaves will be thorn away from their buds. Nothing is eternal, nothing lasts forever. This circle ends and begins unnoticed again and again. The same way as our life does.
Maybe this does make sense that my life always stays like this, repeating the same episode, with tragic ending. I shouldn’t even started this tale, because there’s no happy ending, and I was simply too naïve to hope for it. Princes have their prince, and beggars…well they have nothing and it’s just the way it is. The way my life is. What a person can offer to other person, who already has everything? There isn’t any profit, and if there’s no profit, there’s no nothing.
Two people were standing on the bridge, embracing each other; I couldn’t help but watch them. Maybe she was his river, always making him calm, and he could be her sea, because river can not live without it, it always dreams to come back to sea... like everlasting circle.
I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, as the memories that were held hidden for whole evening, begun bursting in my mind.
-Excuse me miss?
-Hey…
-Are you talking to me? - I turned and saw three men looking at me.
-It’s her, - the bald one said calmly.
Suddenly two strong hands grabbed my wrists, pulling me to the black van. I didn’t have any strength to fight, the thought of screaming as loud as I could did occurred to my mind, but someone pressed a napkin to my mouth and I felt bitter smell, dazzling my head; and soon all the thoughts as well as the sight were gone.
***
I woke up from blazing light, but even if I opened my eyes I wasn’t able to see a thing, as I was blinded by white fluorescent lamps. After few moments I was able to recognize the shapes around me: metal table at the middle of white room and a chair, on which I was sitting myself. Fluorescent lamp was above my head, illuminating my pale skin.
-So you woke up,-said a sleazy voice.
-Who… are you? Where am I? Answer me!-I shouted because of panic.
-Now, now...calm down, I’m not going to hurt you. We don’t want our little princes to get hurt, right?
-Where am I? Let me go, please…I did nothing wrong, - I begged.
-Of course you didn’t,- he said coming closer to me, and now I was able to see those deep glittering eyes, excited because of just caught prey; long dark hair, that were falling on his famine face and a knife in his long skinny fingers.
-No…please…just listen to me…
-Shhh, I’m not going to hurt you, I already said, don’t you believe me? - He said moving his tongue as sharp as the knife pressed to my neck,- we don’t hurt such pretty dolls as you,- he grinned his teeth,- We just like to play, don’t you like to play?- He grabbed my neck, squeezing every cell, and stopping the blood that ran through my veins. I felt like fish thrown on the ground, without any air, that could fill my lungs.
-Look, you’re getting even paler,- he laughed.
I chocked on his words, trying to get away from his grip with the strength that was left in my muscles, but it didn’t work, and he didn’t move an inch. Is he going to kill me? Just like this? This simple? It took less then few hours, few hours to lock me, and now few seconds to take my life away?
-Moron, - I said through my clenched teeth, and spit on him.
-Bitch! – He slapped my face, but I was finally able to breath, - This is not how we play the game! Don’t you know the rules dolly? Now you’ll have to be punished…
I didn’t get my breath back, when he took my chin and kissed me forcibly, shoving his tongue into my mouth. It was gross. The moment I felt his saliva in my mouth, I thought that my yesterday’s lunch will rise to life again. But somehow this thought wasn’t as disgusting as the kiss. So I bit his tongue.
-I thought boys at least thought you the manners! But I guess I was wrong, - he hissed.
-Leave her alone, Heechul, - said unfamiliar voice, when other man approached.
-But, Leeteuk, you promised to let me play with her.
-Later, now we have some important stuff to do. Just lock her and come, you can keep your games for the evening.
-Wait! Please let me out! I’ve done nothing wrong…please. Do you need money? Just tell me what you need, I wont tell to anyone, - I pleaded.
-Apparently, you did something wrong, if so many people hate you, - said man named Leeteuk.
-I swear I didn’t…
-Shut up!- Heechul slapped me, - You are annoying…be a good girl, if you want to see daylight ever again, - he said slamming the door.
I heard how the lock cracked leaving me alone in silence as the steps of two men were already fading away. But the panic that was paralyzing me before was more or less gone too. It doesn’t really matter if I die or not. Nothing will change because of that, right now I’m sure, that no one cares about me anyway. Even my family stopped calling me. This way it may be even easier, if no one needs me, I guess this kidnap would be more like a favor than torture then. Moreover, Changmin will be finally able to forget me and live happily, and JaeJoong…he will be free again, with someone much better then me.
But even if I tried to convince myself with these thoughts, I still hoped that any minute he will burst the door and come to save me…But he didn’t. I don’t know how much time passed, but there wasn’t even a sound, and I was left all alone with my memories, which now hurt so much to remember. With their bright smiles and times spent together playing in my mind.
***
-Wake up, sleeping beauty, - I heard a whisper that woke me up,-you’re so boring, how can you sleep all the time?
I didn’t answer. His voice was making me sick, and I started to hate this face that belonged to Heechul.
-Why you’re so silent suddenly, huh?-he asked again.
-I already said what I wanted; now there’s nothing left to say. You won’t let me go anyway.
-Nah, we won’t, but you could at least try to make yourself more comfortable here, but since you aren’t trying to be polite, I won’t either.
With every step he came closer, I was afraid more and more of this obscurity; afraid of what he’s going to do…I closed my eyes tightly and he instantly started laughing at my action. His fingers were cold, anyway I couldn’t move them away from my face, since I was tied to this god damn chair.
-What, you’re tied? You want to get free, huh? - He asked untying my arms, - here you are, so what are you going to do now? Huh?
I wanted to smash his skull to these white walls, to stand p and run away, but I just remained still as before.
-Pathetic, - he said and I felt my left cheek burning. Then he slapped again, and again, and again. I couldn’t say where the ground or ceiling was, because everything was spinning before my eyes.
-Why aren’t you screaming? Aren’t you afraid of me, bitch?
-Why should I be afraid of such motherfucker like you, - I replied.
-Oh, you should, - he took the same knife, which blades reflected bright light into my eyes, and I didn’t even saw how suddenly it touched my skin, when a pain hit to my right arm. It hurt like hell, and scream left my mouth.
-What about now? Are you afraid? Do you want to go back to your mommy? Because you should! - he shouted on me,- You know, you made a lot of trouble… This is for Yunho, - he whispered to my ear before stabbing my leg.
T
his hurt ten times more then before, I felt warm blood running down my skin. I wanted to faint, and skip all the pain, but my consciousness was still here when I didn’t need her the most. Why Yunho? Does this guy know him? Because he couldn’t…Not Yunho, not him…
-No! - I shrieked because of pain, because tears, which already were running down my cheeks, because of those precious persons that won’t be here.
-Shut up, - and with the third stab I felt my consciousness leaving me…
***
-Here’s the proof, - I heard someone’s voice.
I don’t how much time passed, but my all body was still hurting, maybe even more, I couldn’t be sure, since everything seemed surreal. I wondered I f I should open my eyes and show them that I already woke up, of course I didn’t want that, but I was too curious about new voices in the room. So I gave up to curiosity and saw that I’m already in totally different room. This one seemed more luxurious, like an expensive cabinet, with leather armchairs and furniture from dark wood. I also saw bandages on my wounds, but I bet they were already sucked in blood. Now this really can’t be a dream.
-Do you believe now? - The same voice repeated and I turned to its direction.
-If you don’t, ask her, ask that bitch then!-The door flew open on those words.
-Jae-Joong? - I choked, when after the bald man’s back I saw JaeJoong coming in.
-You came, JaeJoong, you came to save me! - I felt how happiness took all of my sourness away. Now it’s finally over, that’s why I’m all in bandages, because he saved me and took care of me.
-Is it true? - He said with dead voice.
-What…do you mean? You came to help me, I already thought that I’m dead, but you came and-
-Shut up and tell me if it true!
-What? I…don’t understand, JaeJoong… what’s wrong?-I asked with trembling lips.
-Don’t pretend, the child…it isn’t mine, right?
-What? Jae-
-Don’t mess around with me! Just tell me!
-I…JaeJoong…You,- I was at loss of words, I wanted to say yes, to scream this positive answer, but I never actually knew whose it was, and the words didn’t left my mouth; I kept silent.
-So it is then…- he exhaled deeply holding onto his head, - Do you know how-how much I loved you, Alex? How could you? I…don’t understand, how could you deceive me like this?
-No, Jae, it’s not like that, I never, I promise…
-Just shut up already! I would have sacrificed everything! Do you hear me, everything! And for what, for a woman, that doesn’t even fucking care…Jesus…
-No JaeJoong I do, I…if I’m not sure that baby is yours, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, - I started crying.
-How you can even say this, damn it! – He threw everything from the table on the ground.
-I never deceived you! It’s you, who was fucking around! Yeah, I saw you back then with that slut on top of you!
-What do you think I had to do? To stay with such trash like you? Haven’t you ever thought that you aren’t good enough for me?
-I-I …
No. This must be dream. He didn’t say that. He couldn’t…
-You can leave her alone, it’s all over anyway, - he turned to the old man.
-No! JaeJoong, you can’t do this to me…You can’t…I need you! You said you’ll stay with me, you said you’ll keep me in your heart, you promised!- I called him desperately, but his cold heart didn’t even noticed my plea,- Please…I love, JaeJoong..
My words were empty for him, and he just turned his back and left without saying a word. I knew that he’s right, that I’m no match for him, and if baby is not his…he has no point staying with such trash like me, as he said himself. Despite that, it seemed that an atomic bomb exploded in me, bursting my heart, and leaving nothing, but emptiness. Why does it hurt to love? Why does it always me, who has to suffer…?
-So you didn’t get anything, huh? - said the guy, that I was already forgotten of.
-Aren’t talkative, huh? - He asked again.
Maybe he even said something more, but I heard just fragments of his meaningless words. Meaningless like everything else around me…Two strong arms lifted me up, and I was carried away from the room. Stairs were going down and down, and the light was fading little by little. Was conscious? Because all of this doesn’t made sense, just like the rest of my life. or what remained of it.
-I have good news for you, that bastard you’re carrying in you… we’ll make a favor, and help you to get rid of it. Isn’t what you want, huh?- the old man said again.
Baby? They want to…take may baby away?
I instantly hugged my stomach. They can’t take it, it’s the only thing I got left…The only thing that was still alive in me.
I kicked two gorilla guys away from me. But soon they took my wrist again. Even if I was hopeless in front of their strength I still tossed as hard as I could. Soon one huge fist knocked me down on the ground. But I couldn’t lie around, I needed to run away. First time my defense instincts turned on, but maybe it was because I wasn’t fighting for myself this time. I pushed the first man away, but I couldn’t get away from the other, and I knew I’ll be hit in any second again. Despite that I still tried my reckless run away plan. And I ran, I ran as fast as I could, in the unknown corridors, hoping that any door will turn to be an exit. But they weren’t, any of them weren’t, and I was just getting lost even more. I heard loud steps beside my back, but I didn’t dared to turn back, and face them, in fear that even tiny doubt may help them catch me. But then I heard a strange sound. It was like a click, as if someone pushed the button and turned metal lever.
-Stop or I’ll shoot! - I heard a scream.
And now I knew what that sound was. A sound of just loaded gun. When bullet is set to splash your brain on the payment.
But I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t even turn back, to look at revolver and the hand that pulled the trigger. But suddenly the deafening sound came, tearing the air, with a silver bullet. It had to be less then a second. But somehow it seemed that the time passed slower, that it even stopped. Because I was still able to move, without any bullet in my head. I turned back to look where that fucking bullet gone away. And I was turned aback again.
Changmin was fighting with the guy that was after me. He was holding his hand low, and now I realized that deathly shot missed me just because it was disturbed by him, by Changmin.
-Run! Alex, run! - He shouted to me.
-Changmin…- I stayed at the same spot afraid to move.
-The back up is here, - I heard Junsu’s voice, - hold on Changmin!
Yoochun also came hitting the enemy away from Changmin.
-Are you okay?-Changmin asked me.
-After you came...yeah, I’m fine, let’s get away from here.
-C’mon, after the shoot we may have more company, - Yoochun said.
Changmin took me in his arms and carried me away from this hell, while Yoochun and Junsu run after us.
They found the exit in few seconds, and I remembered this entrance, which looked identical to SM Company’s. We opened the door, and the bright sunshine hit my eyes blinding me, but I didn’t have to worry since I was led by dong bang boys. We jumped to the jeep that was already waiting for us in the street. But when the jeep moved I could not notice that the driver beside the wheel was none other person, then JaeJoong. Now this didn’t make sense at all.
-Damn, you look bad, A…we are sorry we couldn’t come faster, - Junsu said.
-I don’t understand why… they didn’t need any money, they just said that too many people hate me, and that I need to pay for it…- I said silently, that sounded more like a whisper then a a normal sentence.
-It’s because of us. We are sorry. Really. But we’ll explain everything after your wounds will be healed.
I didn’t have more strength to speak. I just watched through the window how houses were changing in seconds. I couldn’t think why everything happened. It was too fast, and I was too exhausted. I didn't notice how i started to keep my arms on my stomach, glad that i'm still with him.
I heard voices, which were just meaningless words to me, blown away with wind. But i knew that JaeJoong kept silent, and I wasn’t going to open my mouth either.
-I wish I could say something to make you happy... but all I can say is just that I'm sorry,- Changmin said to my ear, placing his hand on mine.
And for that time, it was more than enough to bring me back to this world.