| Fan Fiction |
by Kinra
The autumn was getting colder and colder.
I didn’t notice that; just as I didn’t notice that I forgot to put on my shoes. That’s why after few hours of roaming around the city, bite in my feet and ache in muscles made me to stop my search.
Okay, maybe this was a stupid idea, to leave alone and look for a person that I don’t have any idea where is.
I felt like past days really increased the level of my oddness to the point when others can call you mentally sick. But I didn’t care about what others may think about barefoot women sitting on the pavement. I already got used to the thought that something is wrong.
Small rain drops began to fall. It was pouring. People fastened their steps trying to run away from unavoidable, but their useless efforts were doomed to be soaked. In all that rush I imagined JaeJoong, how he’s coming through the crowd, pushing all the people away, and looking at me, as if I was the one he was finding for the whole time.
-Don’t you ever do this again, - soft voice said.
I blinked and realized that my fantasy was standing in font of me.
-Jae-Joong? - I whispered.
He hugged me tightly and I felt his warm body close to my wet skin. My body was over helmed by calm, as if I just ate hot chocolate. He didn’t say anything, just kept brushing my hair. And I wanted that this rain would last forever…
He took me in his arms, and I simply held onto his neck, hiding myself in him. When we reached his car, I had to let go of him, and the thought that we may be separated seemed unbearable. He took a blanket from back seat, where I saw my luggage too, and covered me with it till my nose.
-Why did you take it? - I pointed at my suitcase.
-I thought of a better place for you to stay, it’s too crowded, that’s why I was gone, - JaeJoong replied.
-But-
-You’ll like it, I promise, - he cut me off and turned on the heater.
***
The engine was turned of and the silence woke me up from my sleep. As I opened my eyes, I saw that we are in a quiet suburb in front of white wooden two storey house.
-Come, - he took my hand after opening passenger door.
I followed him to the house. We entered into the bright room, fully furnished colorfully, with small fireplace in the front, and big French windows at the end.
-Where did you get that?-I gasped coming closer.
-Do you like it? I decorated it myself, - he said and I recognized JaeJoong’s style on pillows with cute puppies.
-I see…
-Sit here, I’ll bring everything.
-Everything?-I asked.
-Yeah, you should go and have a warm bath, I even brought bubble soap.
-Um, okay, - I said and went to the room he pointed at.
***
Warm water stream run down my body and I finally felt cozy.
Bathroom looked kind of familiar. It was plain white, just a vase of lilies made it look more lively. Somehow it reminded me Changmin’s house. How I woke up in dazzling light, covered in soft sheets. How I first met him, hitting him with doors; how I tried to pass the day waiting for his calls; and how I left all of it, running away from that light room…
-Hey, Alex, can I come in? – JaeJoong knocked on the door.
-Yeah, sure, - I said and hid in the bubble bath.
He opened the door holding some clothes in his hands.
-I brought something to wear…and earlier I forgot shampoo, but here it is, - he held it in his hand.
-Um, thanks.
-Are you uncomfortable with me?
-Um, no, not really.
-Because if you are, I can leave.
-It’s okay, - I smiled.
He doubted a second, but then came closer and sat on the corner of bath tub. His long fingers begun to draw invisible circles in the water and I thought I saw that shy boy in his eyes he used to be when we kissed for the first time.
-Uh, I wash your head then.
-Don’t bother.
-It’s okay, I like your hair.
-Really?
-Uhu, they’re long and silky, and when I come closer I can smell flowers and honey... Are you blushing?
-No.
-You are, - he chucked and begun to wash my hair.
-Alex?
-What? - I asked relaxed.
-Do you still love me?
I sat up straightly and looked at him. It wasn’t what I expected. It wasn’t what I wanted to think about, and I just looked at my knees in warm water.
-It’s okay, I did wrong things, and I honestly regret them, but if it’s the way you feel, it’s okay…
-No, JaeJoong, I do. I do love you, - I turned to him, to his deep brown eyes...
- I thought I lost you, - he said brushing my cheek.
His kiss collided with my lips.
How long? How long has it been since I felt it? Eternity?
I drew him closer to me, deepening the kiss, forgetting oxygen and other things that didn’t matter.
I do love you, JaeJoong, at least for today, I’ll let myself to love you…
***
Moon light illuminated his smiling face, closed eyes and parted lips…I watched how he breathed calmly, sleeping in sheets.
I wish he wouldn’t have to wake from his sweet dreams...I wish we could stay asleep together forever…But my hand left his and I slowly sat up from warm bed.
-JaeJoong, - I whispered his name to myself inaudibly and kissed his naked back, his long neck, his purple tempting lips… for the last time.
On the small sheet of paper, I found in the living room, I wrote few words that should make him tranquil. I thought I can’t leave him like this without any explanation, without anything at all…
My bags were still unpacked and taxi already waited outside, all I have to do was to open the door and leave, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Let him go. You do not posses him. Let him go. Someday there will be someone who will be able to make him happy, to fulfill his dreams…Maybe I’m too big coward for that right now, maybe it wasn’t meant from the beginning, maybe I didn’t deserved it yet…