Fan Fiction |
by Lhara
Come around and see
the other side
Stepping stones, away from the limelight
Come around and
breathe in piece of mind
And for it all, I thank you.
I thank you.
Sit down, lose yourself in thought
Then you might find out it's all we've got
Take a chance, the future's in your hands
Make it what you can before
your time has reached the end
The Calling, Thank You
******
I was twenty-one by the time I decided to return to Taiwan. By then Xi Men was twenty-three and his business was flourishing. It had been almost two years since Xi Men had taken me to the airport, holding my hand all the way there.
When I landed back in Taiwan, I began to grow nervous. We hadn’t communicated much whilst I was in Canada and on rare occasions I would get a call from him telling me how he was doing. In turn I wrote him letters detailing how life in Canada was hard to adjust to. Yes, I wanted to go back. No, I didn’t have a boyfriend- Taiwanese guys were way cuter and plus (though I didn’t write this bit) in my eyes he was the only one for me. I never asked the question, do you have a serious girlfriend yet, Xi Men? Because I was afraid of the answer. But according to Shan Cai, though Xi Men was busy working, he still had time for his infamous meimeis.
However, I was determined not to become like them; enjoyed then long forgotten. I know I had once wanted to be like that, so desperate was I for his adoration. But those years in Canada made me think. I don’t want to be used like that. I want to be treated like any normal girl: respected, treasured and loved. Looking for these things in Xi Men seemed impossible, but I was sure they were there. I had seen some evidence for it after all. That time when I knelt crying on the road, my heart broken, then someone stopping in his car and coming up to me, reaching out his hand, offering words of encouragement… the Xi Men then showed every indication of compassion. It made me think, even if Xi Men is doomed to be like how he thinks he is, then at least let me treasure the day he saved me and brought me out of my own uncertain shadow, for it was then that I first had a glimpse of the man behind the mask.
Now I am back. It is time to face Xi Men and forget my dreams of him. Now is the time to face reality.
Shan Cai was the one who came to get me from the airport. I left my family in Canada, wanting to be back here. With Shan Cai was the man who seldom left her side: Dao Ming Si.
“Xiao You!” came her familiar voice as I came out with my luggage trolley. There she was, waving madly, standing on her tiptoes above the other people. Shan Cai ran up to me and enveloped me in a big hug that I also returned. Shan Cai looked different from the time before- her eyes were brighter, happier and overall she looked stronger and more confident. She also had a tattoo of a shooting star on her right hand. I turned to Dao Ming Si beside her, and gave him a hug too.
“Shan Cai wouldn’t shut up about you coming home,” he said with a grin. “Ow,” he murmured as Shan Cai shoved him.
I also noted his change- he was happier than the time before too. I knew from Xi Men and Shan Cai that about two years ago, Dao got amnesia and forgot that his love was Shan Cai, and instead fell in love with another girl. Shan Cai fought so hard to get him back, “But sometimes I just wanted to give up, and many times I almost did. I almost lost him,” she told me once. But instead, they have been engaged for a year and will soon tie the knot.
We took a taxi back to Shan Cai and Dao’s apartment, where I would be staying until I could rent my own. Back to working in the cake shop then. We chatted happily along the way, and both of them told me the story of Dao Ming Si getting amnesia.
“It’s so romantic,” I said with a sigh.
“But I’m so mad,” Shan Cai pretended to fume. “How could he forget about me and fall in love with another woman, then have a go at me for wanting him still? Hmpfh!”
Dao laughed. “You got me back, didn’t you? Or is it rather, I got you back? I went all the way to Barcelona because she ran away.”
“Pighead!” Shan Cai cried. “Who was it who went gallivanting off to other countries?” She turned to me (I was sitting in the middle, between the two of them.) “He was just jealous because he saw Lei kissing me, and realised someone else had feelings for me.”
“Eh! You’re too ugly, how can one, let alone two people love you?”
Shan Cai stuck her tongue out at Dao Ming Si in defiance.
I laughed. “How is Lei anyway?”
A sad look came over Shan Cai. “Still the same, except now he seems more distant. He seems to be longing for something he can’t have.”
And that thing is me, seemed to be the words hanging in the air, unspoken because of Dao’s presence.
I recalled a conversation Shan Cai and I had over the phone once. “Xiao You, I have a feeling that Lei is still in love with me. When he kissed me that last time it was like he was pouring out his soul to me. And then he sent me an SMS, “The one thing I can’t give you and that’s happiness.” Oh, Xiao You, how is it that this man can be unloved by two women, when in reality he is worthy of much more?”
And I replied, “Shan Cai, not everyone gets the one they love. There is nothing you can do for Lei. But right now, make sure you never neglect him. Make sure he is happy, even if you can’t give him the happiness he needs.”
Shan Cai then sighed. “Love changes people,” she had murmured. “In unexpected ways.”
We returned to their apartment, where I noted the meteor lights on the front. “Oh, it’s beautiful,” I murmured. “Shan Cai, you’re one lucky girl.”
Shan Cai laughed. “Am I? I feel it now, but there were times when I thought I was cursed. Anyway, enough about that, it hurts to think about it all. Come and let me take you to your room.”
We took my luggage whilst Dao Ming Si went to prepare some drinks.
“Here we are,” she aid, drawing me into a small room.
I looked around, before turning to Shan Cai. “It’s cute,” I said with a big smile.
We both went to sit on the bed.
“Xiao You, I’m glad you are back.”
“Shan Cai, it’s good to be back, I’ve missed you. In Canada, I couldn’t find a friend who was as strong and fiery as you.”
Shan Cai laughed. “I’ve missed you too. I have many friends- Jing, Xiao Qiao, Ching-he, Mimi, Ye-Sha, Ah Mei… but none of them have been you. In the whole of Taiwan, I can’t seem to find a friend who is as cute, bubbly and supportive as you are.”
We both laughed. “I am cute aren’t I?” I mused playfully. I paused for a second. “So Shan Cai, how is…?”
She grinned. “Xi Men? You still like him, right?”
I grinned back. “You still hate him for liking me, right?”
“Hmm, a bit.”
We laughed again.
“Hey, do you remember when I first met him? He took an interest in me, but you wouldn’t let me talk to him. You said I would end up pregnant!”
Shan Cai grinned. “Or what about the time Dao and I had just gone steady. Xi Men took you on a date-,”
“And you practically went crazy! You tired to make Dao Ming Si rescue me, afraid that I would sleep with Xi Men!”
“I was just being a concerned friend. Anyway, did you hear what Mei Zuo said? Xi Men was a seasoned horse and you would be fine. I practically had a heart attack then and there. Worst still, Dao said he wanted to do it with the woman he loved someday. Thinking that was me, I couldn’t stop screaming!”
We laughed.
“Well, Xi Men treated me well. Most gentlemen of him. It’s strange how such a gentleman can be such a playboy. But you know what was funny? When we sneaked outside your hotel room. You thought we were on a date, but instead we were plotting to get you two together. Your face when you saw us outside, I thought you were going to explode!”
We both cracked up, laughing so hard that our sides hurt.
“Do you know that after you left, Xi Men didn’t date girls for a while. But then he started again. You almost had him there, Xiao You.”
I smiled sadly. “Sometimes I think if I hadn’t gone to Canada, maybe something would have happened. Although if I hadn’t gone to Canada, I wouldn’t have…” my voice trailed off.
Shan Cai narrowed her eyes. “Wouldn’t have what?”
I grinned. I hadn’t told her what had happened between Xi men and me on my last day, in fear of what she would do. Should I tell her now?
Oh why not! “I offered myself to him,” I said, my grin wider now. She was going to explode…
“What??” she screamed so loud, Dao Ming Si dropped a glass in the other room in surprise.
“Xiao You!” she cried.
I started laughing. “Relax, Shan Cai. I had only wanted him at the time to… you know. I thought, I don’t care if it’s only one day with him, I just want to be adored by him. But don’t worry we didn’t do anything. I was shaking so hard; I was so scared! So he didn’t do anything. He said he couldn’t do that to girls who are shaking all over. Then I told him I was going to leave for Canada and that I wanted to remember my last moments with him- I didn’t care if it meant being scared. And you know what he did? He held me in his arms all night. I was crying- I was so sad, but so moved. It was the saddest, most incredible night of my life. The next day he took me to the airport, and he held my hand all the way.” I looked up at Shan Cai with a smile. “That has to be the most romantic thing that has ever happened to me, kind of sad, right?”
“Xiao You, how come you never told me?” Shan Cai demanded.
“Because I thought you would be mad.”
“I am mad! But Xi Men didn’t do anything, so I guess it’s okay. Otherwise I would go and murder him right now. But you know, for some reason, I don’t mind if you pursue Xi Men. I’ve decided he’s not so bad. You know, he looked after me all those many times that I lost Dao Ming Si. All F3 did. So underneath his playboy exterior, there must be a softie.”
“And maybe you are just hallucinating,” came a voice from the doorway.
We turned to see Dao Ming Si grinning at us. “Come, let’s go and eat.”