Fan Fiction |
by Lhara
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I don’t know how long it was I spent standing outside the café, but the sun had long started to set. I was aware that passer-bys were staring at me, but why not? There I was, an innocent-looking young lady who had tears streaming down her face. Several people asked me if I was okay, most of them ignored me. I just stared into nothingness, trying to figure out where everything had gone wrong.
In my mind, I clearly pictured the first time when Xi Men ditched me. We had arranged to go and see one of the Star Wars movies at the local cinema, as we were both avid fans (the others weren’t so much). Just as I arrived there after work, Xi Men phoned to tell me he couldn’t make it. Before, Xi Men never failed to meet me. I was disappointed at first, but I knew of Xi Men’s hectic lifestyle, and made room in my mind for faults. But then it happened the second time, and a third time. Then again and again until I lost count. It wasn’t like we were going out; Xi Men had no obligation to keep every single date we shared. But as the lights in his eyes grew distant, and our meetings grew few and far between, I began to feel that as a friend I had been betrayed. I would never forget about Shan Cai, and Xi Men wouldn’t dare leave F4 hanging constantly, so what was so different about me? When he decided he’d rather go out with a random girl than me, I snapped. I always regarded myself as a patient person, but everyone has their limits. My limit was Xi Men’s hidden agenda screwing with my mind.
Through my tears, I tried to find a way to calm myself. My imagination instinctively leaped back to the beginning to where it all began. Where there had been happiness. I would never forget my first meeting with him: Xi Men had asked me if we had met before, I had uttered that no we hadn’t. Then Shan Cai had interrupted, berating me for talking to such a person. “Don’t believe a word he says. He is really very dangerous. Just treat him as a contagious disease. However far away you can get away, then get away.” Later, I laughed at her. Xi Men, I had thought, was too much of a gentleman to hurt anyone. The other memories: him coming to the cake shop accompanied by Mei Zuo and Lei and making me laugh at their antics… Me crying my heart out on a curb and then him getting out of his fancy sports car… reaching out an invisible hand, that I held on to much longer than a day… Us going out on a date, but really tricking Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si. Me telling him that I liked him... Him telling me I was just a friend… Me, laying in his arms, feeling sad at an unwanted departure… Him, taking me to an airport and holding my hand all the way. Me, back again, seeing him for the first time in two years… Him, taking me on a long car journey. Us, watching the most beautiful sunrise together.
The tears were flowing faster now, the memories had only spurned them. *Maybe Shan Cai was right Xi Men: you are a disease, a deadly disease, killing and hurting some part of me. But Xi Men, though you have brought me good times, you have also brought me bad times that have imprinted wounds upon my heart. Xi Men, I can’t take it anymore. I’m not strong like Shan Cai and furthermore, I’m not brave like you told me to be. You used to be my hero, but now I don’t know who you are anymore. I don’t know if I matter to you, but now I don’t have to. Xi Men, I never thought I’d have to say this, but I guess I’m going to have to… goodbye Xi Men. Goodbye. I’m finally giving up on you, so I’m begging you please don’t hurt me anymore.*
With this final thought, I took a deep breath and headed to cross the road and make my journey home. But because of my unclear head and blurry eyes, I guess that’s why what happened next happened. My mind didn’t allow me to focus properly, so that’s why when I crossed over I didn’t see the speeding sports car until it was too late. Hearing the noise of an engine, I looked up to my right and saw the car approaching, going too fast to stop. As clichéd as it may sound, I was too shocked to move, and just stood there waiting for it to hit me. Also, part of me just didn’t care what happened to me. I had lost my world with Xi Men, why care? But someone cared. I heard somebody running up behind me (though my mind didn’t register it at the time) and pushed me out the way, both of us hitting the pavement hard.
The sports car hooted loudly and drove off. I, in the meanwhile, slowly tried to untangle myself from my rescuer, of who was sprawled on top of me. The person quickly got up, and helped me too. With shock at what had just happened, I looked up to meet the face of my salvation.
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This one is for Mauna Loa, for her lovely e-mails.
I hope you liked the poem above, since I wrote it. This chapter was initially going to be quite long, but I thought I’d break it up, so there will be the receiving end by late this week.
QUOTE: (serious this time) Be who you are and say what you mean. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.