| Fan Fiction |
by Micah
What else could it be? What else could explain the jealousy Junsu felt when Yoochun spoke about how great of a friend (just a friend) Yunho was, how much he liked spending time with Kibum (because he could learn so much), how he was being forced to marry someone he didn’t even love?
What else could it be? What else could explain the possessiveness Junsu felt when a stranger on the street would stare at Yoochun? What else could explain the excessive effort Junsu put into picking out Yoochun’s clothes, fixing his hair, spreading jam on his toast? Jaejoong used to be the one fussing over Junsu’s clothes, hair, and meals. Junsu never fussed about it himself…for himself or for anyone else.
What else could it be? Most importantly, what else could explain the happiness Junsu felt when Yoochun was around? Just a simple smile he wanted to capture on camera, a laugh he wanted to set as his ringtone, and all that cheesy stuff. That idiot, Park Yoochun, made Junsu think the cheesiest things and yet he loved every second of it.
Why?
Because he was hopelessly in love with that idiot.
That idiot, Park Yoochun.
Junsu turned the ducky towards himself and squeezed it. In a squeaky voice, he spoke for the yellow ducky, “You’re the idiot. You’re the one who’s in love with him.”
Junsu frowned and forced the rubber toy under the water to drown the evil, truthful thing. Then he released a distressed groan and drowned himself.
◙◙◙◙◙
“What is this?”
“It’s called ‘cereal’. Jaejoong isn’t here to make breakfast and I’m too lazy to cook,” Junsu explained in a grouchy voice.
“Are you still angry at me for calling your fish ‘ugly’?”
“It’s a ‘dolphin’ and it is not ugly!”
Yoochun shook his head and sighed. He picked up a spoonful of the brown spheres and tasted cereal for the first time. It was sweet and the white liquid tasted weird. It wasn’t amazingly good, but it wasn’t terribly bad either.
Junsu sat across from him, munching on his own bowl. He was stuffing spoonful after spoonful into his mouth like it was a punishment. His brows were frowning.
Yoochun considered apologizing and admitting that the fish…the dolphin was cute. But didn’t he want Junsu to be angry at him so that he could be angry at Junsu? Why did he want to be angry at Junsu again? Oh, right, so he wouldn’t feel so upset about leaving this good friend.
During the process of packing and showering, he’d gotten over the annoyance of Junsu calling him ‘Umma’. Being able to think clearer now, Yoochun mentally slapped himself for such thoughts.
He was only moving to Kibum’s house. It wasn’t that far away and he could still see Junsu everyday. Why did he expect it to be difficult to move out?
The doorbell rang and Junsu ran out of his seat to go get it. Seconds later, Yoochun heard the voices of Jaejoong and Changmin bickering.
The three followed Junsu to the dining table. The blond man and the tall man sent Yoochun a quick greeting before continuing to bicker.
“What is wrong with calling him ‘Happy’?”
“Stop giving him nicknames already!”
“He likes it!”
“He’s being polite. Do you not see the irony of calling Yunho ‘Happy’? It’s almost as bad as ‘Cinderfella’ and ‘Bambi’,” Changmin protested.
“But ‘Happy’ is my favorite dwarf in ‘Snow White’!” Jaejoong exclaimed childishly.
Changmin said something in retort, but Yoochun didn’t hear. He glanced over at Junsu who had returned to his seat to finish his bowl of cereal. Then Yunho started talking to Yoochun, as if he didn’t know that he was the subject of Changmin and Jaejoong’s argument. “What are you eating?”
“Cereal,” Yoochun answered. He was about to explain the substance to Yunho, but it didn’t seem necessary after all.
“Why are you eating cereal for breakfast?”
Junsu stopped stuffing his face to look up at Yunho. Changmin and Jaejoong stopped arguing. Changmin was also looking at Yunho with a confused expression as well. Jaejoong ran off to make himself a bowl of breakfast.
“What do you mean? It is breakfast food,” Junsu said.
“I thought it was…dinner food,” Yunho revealed.
“Dinner food?” Junsu and Changmin chorused. Their confusion was dispersed when Jaejoong appeared with a huge bowl of cereal.
“I owe you a box of Cocoa Puffs, Su-ie,” Jaejoong quickly said before feeding himself another spoonful.
“How can you love cereal that much?” Changmin questioned.
“Cereal comes second after my love for Su-ie,” Jaejoong countered as he sat down in the chair next to Junsu. Changmin rolled his eyes and Yoochun saw Yunho glancing at Changmin.
The way Yunho looked at Changmin made Yoochun feel like Yunho knew something that he didn’t.
“What did you do to make Yunho think that cereal is dinner food?” Junsu asked.
“I’ll bet it’s because Jaejoong has a habit of eating cereal in the middle of the night,” Changmin recalled. “He’s been doing that since we were kids.”
“You used to do it with me during our sleepovers.”
“It happened so often that it got me sick of cereal. I’m still not eating cereal till this day!”
“That’s your problem,” Jaejoong countered.
Silently, Yunho thought, ‘It is possible to get sick of eating too much cereal?’
Junsu, Yoochun, and Yunho remained quiet as they continued to bicker about the pros and cons of eating cereal. Neither of the three tried to cut in. The longer they argued, the longer it would be before someone brought up the fact that they should be moving Yunho and Yoochun’s belongings to Kibum’s house.
◙◙◙◙◙
“What’s up, Su-ie?” Jaejoong threw himself on Junsu’s bed and grabbed for a pillow to hug.
“I have a problem,” Junsu started.
“I charge one box of Cocoa Puffs per hour…maybe two boxes since I need to feed Happy too,” the blond man joked. When the other man didn’t laugh at his joke (or Yunho’s new nickname), Jaejoong’s lips puckered into a pout.
“Anyway,” Junsu sat down on the bed next to Jaejoong’s laying form. “I think I’m in love with Yoochun.”
Jaejoong’s mouth dropped open and he stared at Junsu. Boy, Changmin won’t like this.
“Well, now that you’ve told me, when are you going to tell Changmin? Rejection and pain should be equal among us!” Jaejoong announced.
Junsu rolled his eyes. “Stop pretending. The reason I’m running to you for advice and not him, the ever so logical and smart Changmin, is because you aren’t in love with me.”
“Should I be offended right now?”
“Yes.”
But he wasn’t offended. He was surprised and slightly amused. “How did you…? I mean, even Changmin can’t tell!”
“It’s not easy to trick Changmin, but since you’re his childhood best friend, you’re capable. Sometimes, I wish you weren’t able to lie to him,” Junsu looked down at his own hands.
“In the beginning, when he confessed to you, did you reject him because you knew that I’m in love with him?” Jaejoong had to wonder.
“No, I didn’t know at first. You’re a good liar. I really thought you were in love with me too, but after two months, seeing that you had more interest in picking fights with him when he had more interest in talking to me…I started to catch on,” the younger man revealed. “I caught on slowly, but after so many years, I’m almost certain.”
“So you really don’t love Changmin?”
“No, I only see him as a good friend. I didn’t want to lead him on either, but I couldn’t exactly stop him. You know how he is, when he’s set on something, he remains loyal to it.”
“He’s remained loyal to his love for you,” Jaejoong sighed. Junsu wasn’t used to seeing Jaejoong like this even though he’d known that this depressed Jaejoong was the true Jaejoong, the one who was always hidden (suffocated) behind the laughs and jokes.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. We can’t control this kind of stuff,” Jaejoong shrugged, putting on that carefree attitude again. “I’ve gotten used to it, really. It’s not like I lose sleep or I sit in the corner and cry. That’s too dramatic for my taste.”
Junsu smiled. “Yes, you’re stronger and tougher than that. It takes a lot to do what you’ve done.”
“I know, right? I could have plotted a way to murder you or at least give you diarrhea for a week, but I ended up pretending to love you.”
“Pretending?”
“Okay, fine, I really do love you. Will you marry me?” Jaejoong batted his eyelashes, looking ever so pretty.
Junsu chuckled. “Let’s see the diamond ring first.”
Jaejoong pushed himself up into a sitting position and wrapped an arm around Junsu’s shoulder. “I do thank you though, for staying away from him even when the jerk is filthy rich.”
“I know! Imagine how rich I could be now! If I dated him, he’d have spoiled me with riches! It’s your entire fault that I’m still in a rat hole.”
Jaejoong laughed. “Rat holes can be fun…depending on who’s in it with you.”
Junsu sighed as he listened to the other man’s laughter. “I remember the days when I used to analyze your laughs to see if they were real or fake. It used to hurt to watch you pretend.”
“It doesn’t hurt now?”
“I’ve gotten used to it and…you seemed happy to be lying to yourself. I didn’t want to ruin that for you too.”
“Su-ie, it’s really okay. It did hurt in the beginning, but I’m okay now. I’m used to it and I still see him everyday.”
“You know, I purposely stay out of it when you two are talking,” Junsu informed.
“We don’t talk. We bicker, but that’s okay. I tell myself that if I pick fights often with him, then it might balance out the amount of time he thinks of you and the time he thinks of me.”
“But when he thinks about you, it’s associated with annoyance and strangeness.”
“That’s okay too.”
“Really?”
“As long as I’m somewhere in his heart. When you hate someone, that means the person reside in your heart too, you know? Not exactly the ‘good’ side of the heart, but still the heart.”