| Fan Fiction |
by Micah
Yoochun stood up and turned away. He wanted so much to turn around, to look back. But he didn’t. He didn’t want to go against his mother’s wishes.
He ran, ran, and ran.
He just ran as fast as his weak legs could carry him.
The house was completely engulfed in fire now, burning down everything and everybody in it.
No one would probably discover it until the next morning…or perhaps even a couple of days. It was an isolated, small house in the mountains (a good thirty minute drive from town). There was no paperwork, no owner of the house because it had been abandoned for decades when the Park family moved in.
His father had lost their house in town by gambling it away. They were left with nothing so he moved the whole family to the abandoned (or rumored to be ‘haunted’) house in the mountains as suggested by his other stupid, gambling ‘buddies’. They had a place to stay and the loan sharks wouldn’t be able to find them too soon.
And even better for the monster, because there would be no neighbors who complained about the fighting going on in the house every day and night.
But why did any of that matter anymore?
Yoochun stopped running. He was a good distant away now, but he still didn’t turn around to look. Breathing hard, he fell onto his knees. It didn’t matter that rocks were scarring his knee. It was the least of his pains right now.
Then his whole body slumped forward and he lied facedown on the rocky ground. Only his heavy breathing revealed that he was still alive.
When he just couldn’t stand it anymore, he curled up into a ball on the rough ground and cried. He just wanted to cry.
[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
Yoochun sighed and even though his eyes were still closed, a droplet of tear managed to fall from the corner of his right eye.
This was improvement. After so many years, it was just one teardrop. Definite improvement from the days when he would hide in a private place and cry buckets.
After all the crying in the mountains, Yoochun eventually made his way back to the orphanage that he had left Se7en at. Everyone asked him what happened after they had called a kind doctor to help Yoochun with his physical wounds. Yoochun didn’t say a word, at least, not until Se7en asked…
[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
Yoochun had left the room that all the boy orphans shared and was sitting outside in the garden. He stared up at the shining stars, but saw nothing.
Then he felt body heat and suddenly tensed because he could practically imagine being burned again.
But his nerves relaxed and he turned his head to see his baby brother sitting next to him, sitting closely next to him.
“Hyung,” seven-year-old Se7en murmured as he looked at his brother with sad eyes.
It was the first time Se7en had spoken since Yoochun’s return. All the caretakers were surrounding Yoochun and Se7en couldn’t even get close to him at the time. But when he did finally get to stand by his big brother, he still didn’t say anything; he didn’t have anything to say…until now…
“Hyung,” he continued, “What happened?”
Yoochun sighed and turned back to the stars. He didn’t have the courage to look into his baby brother’s eyes. He didn’t want his baby brother to see him cry.
“Umma is going to a far away place. We’ll see her again one day…but just not any time soon. Just know that she wants us to promise her to always look on the bright side and to live life without regrets. Life is too short for regrets.”
“Hyung, is Umma…in Heaven?”
The ten-year-old blinked and turned back to look at his brother, his crying brother. “Se7ennie…”
“Is she happy up there, Hyung? Is she happier than she was when she was still with us?” the seven-year-old sobbed.
Yoochun tried not to cry as he wrapped his arms around his baby brother. “She’ll be happy if we’re happy, Se7ennie. We have to be happy so that she can be happy.”
Se7en nodded against Yoochun’s shoulder. “But…is it okay for me to cry for a little longer? Will…will she be angry at me?”
Yoochun bit his lower lips. “No, no, she won’t be angry. We’ll cry for tonight, just tonight.”
[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
And so Yoochun tried. He tried to keep his promise to their mother.
Se7en kept his promise.
Yoochun didn’t keep his promise. Not anymore. He broke his promise to his mother when he met Kim Junsu.
After their mother’s death, Yoochun was able to finish high school with the help of the orphanage. Throughout the time, he also worked several jobs. It wasn’t too difficult to find a job as a dishwasher or a janitor at a dirty bar. The owners were willing to hire a young kid to work and pay him under the table because they wouldn’t have to pay the minimum wage required by the law.
He was able to get better jobs after graduating from high school so that he could start saving up money for Se7en’s education. More than once, he’d been rejected because of the scar on his face. The first couple of jobs that he had been rejected by, Yoochun was so hurt. It hurt so much.
He wanted to give up, just give up. He was eighteen, but he still hid in a park and cried. He wanted to give up because he was so tired, physically and mentally.
Se7en found him in the park.
[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
Yoochun nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the arms wrap around him from behind. But he soon recognized that it was his sixteen-year-old brother and allowed himself to relax.
“Hyung, you can stop now. Leave it to me. I can start working…”
“No,” Yoochun cut him off. “You have to concentrate on school. You have to get through college.”
“You had to start working when you were ten! I’m sixteen! It’s not fair to you!” Se7en exclaimed, wrapping his arms tighter around Yoochun and resting his chin on his big brother’s shoulder.
“I’m working hard, but you’re working hard to. Your grades are excellent. I’m sorry for yelling at you yesterday.”
Yoochun had nearly burst into tears yesterday when he yelled at Se7en for getting a ‘B’ on his exam. Yoochun felt guilty when he saw Se7en’s tears and ran out of the room. Se7en sat in the room drowning in his own guilt.
“It’s my fault. I deserved it. I was so sick and tired of studying so I…gave up. I’m sorry. I promise to never do it again.”
“No, I shouldn’t be pushing you so hard. A ‘B’ is good. I couldn’t do any better myself…”
“Because you were always busy with all your jobs,” Se7en murmured sadly.
Yoochun closed his eyes to allow the remaining tears to fall. Then he untangled himself from Se7en’s arms and turned around to face his baby brother. “How about this, we both promise each other to continue to work hard? No more thoughts of giving up. If we ever feel like we want to give up, we talk to each other about it.”
Se7en smiled and nodded. “We’ll get through everything together. We have to be strong, like Umma wants. There’s always the brighter side to look at.”
Yoochun smiled because Se7en still remembered their mother’s words. He, himself, had almost forgotten because he was so distracted by the thought of giving up.
[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
So he didn’t give up. He couldn’t.
Yoochun asked the caretakers at the orphanage and found out that it was illegal for employers to reject him based on appearance. He used that threat on some employers and found jobs that only lasted several months. Luckily, he came across a job at a deli that only required him to work in the kitchen where no customers could see him. At the same time, he managed to pick up on two other jobs that required night time shifts.
With so many years of living with the scar and going through so many jobs, Yoochun had become accustomed to the discriminating eyes. With time, it just didn’t matter or hurt as much anymore. Most times, he’d even be able to ignore it.
But then he had to go and run in front of Kim Junsu’s car. That was the beginning of his downfall.
He met the beautifully handsome Kim Junsu and Yoochun’s self-esteem level dropped several notches. He fell in love with the beautifully handsome man and his self-esteem level hit rock bottom. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Yoochun had become a coward. He’d run away and could only imagine the worst.
No more ‘looking on the bright side’. No more ‘live life to the fullest’.
‘Life is too short for regrets.’
Yet Yoochun would be burdened by this one regret for the rest of his life. He’d regret not having the courage and strength to just TRY.
[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
“I’m wondering why I fell in love with him in the first place. He’s ill-tempered, superficial, selfish, arrogant…”
“You really don’t know?”
“Maybe because of his looks,” Yoochun tried to grasp onto any excuse he could think of, “which is a good thing, because if a person falls in love with another person for his/her appearance then the love won’t last.”
“Then that means his love for you WILL last…,” Jaejoong pointed out.
“What?”
“…since he didn’t even know what you looked like when he fell in love with you. I’m pretty sure he fell in love with you during the time that he was blind,” the older man reminded.
[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]