| Fan Fiction |
by imie youngwoong
Yunho remembered so well how everybody reacted when they knew about what happened. His parents were the most disappointed in him, and never in his life had his father became mad at him like he did three days ago. Changmin had looked at him with such contempt that he had never seen before, his disapproving eyes boring holes into Yunho’s soul. And his mother…His mother never stopped crying beside Jaejoong’s bed, and kept apologizing for letting Yunho tortured Jaejoong like this. Yunho’s heart broke over and over again as he recalled how his mother had begged for forgiveness on his behalf. So much for being a good son…
Whenever he thought he could not cry anymore, new tears flowed down his cheeks, proving the opposite. There was nothing else left in his heart, except for endless regret.
It was worse when Jaejoong’s family came to visit. Junsu had been inconsolable, screaming and punching hysterically at Yunho, who just stood there receiving the painful blows. Lucky for him Yoochun was there to hold his wife back, although the man was also crying. But Yunho could accept Junsu’s rage, he totally understood why Junsu would want to kill him. He would want to kill himself too. However, the reaction from Jaejoong’s mother was what tore him into pieces. The elderly woman had walked to Yunho crying and asking why he had done what he did to his beloved son. She had asked what Jaejoong had done for Yunho to treat him like this, her question thrown at Yunho in an unassuming, tearful voice. She had looked deep into Yunho’s tear-glazed eyes, and searched for the possible answer, but Yunho had none to give. Oh how would he forget his mother-in-law’s silent tears as she held Jaejoong’s hand against her bosom, softly telling his son to hold on and fight for his life.
Yunho put his head in his palms. How did it end up like this…with Jaejoong on the hospital bed?
He remembered how the doctor had asked him why he had waited for so long before bringing his wife to the hospital. He was unable to answer, because honestly, he did not even realize that Jaejoong had a fever before that fateful night.
And to think that he had raped Jaejoong while he was so sick…
God, just kill me!!
Yunho cried into his hands, his whole being hurting like never before. Anguish, regret and self-remorse filled him and tortured him with their unforgivable pain.
Yunho looked up at Jaejoong’s calm face. He walked towards him and sat on Jaejoong’s bed, his hands clasping Jaejoong’s cold hands. He rubbed his hands softly together with Jaejoong’s to warm them, as he let his tears soaked his face again. He knew he looked like a total wreck with a messy hair, a runny nose and a growing beard. He did not care about it all; the only thing he wanted now was for Jaejoong to wake up from his long sleep.
He put Jaejoong’s hand against his wet cheek, eyes never leaving the man’s face.
“Jaejoong…Jaejoong-ah…can you hear me…Jaejoong…please wake up…” Yunho whispered, his voice broken as he rubbed Jaejoong’s hand softly against his cheek. He wanted to let Jaejoong know how sorry he was, how he had regretted everything he had done to the man.
Yunho had lost count of the times he had cried and talked to Jaejoong like this. He was desperate to let Jaejoong knows how he feels, and to beg for the man’s forgiveness. He knew what he had done was unforgivable, but he wanted the chance to let Jaejoong knows how he had really regret his actions.
Only one chance to let Jaejoong knows how he wished he could turn back the time and do everything differently…
Only one chance to let Jaejoong knows how he truly feels for the man…
Not anger, not hatred…
But love…
Only one chance to let Jaejoong knows how much he loves him…
Yunho looked at Jaejoong’s sunken face…you look so frail and thin…Yunho then examined Jaejoong’s hand that he had been holding against his cheek…He traced a finger on Jaejoong’s ring, the one he had put on Jaejoong ‘s finger on their wedding day. ..I have not fulfilled my responsibility as your husband…I have broken our promise that we made in front of God and our families…I have denied you of your rights as my wife…
Yunho saw his tears felled on Jaejoong’s hand, and he softly wiped them off his wife’s hand. He looked at Jaejoong’s pale face again…I’m so selfish, Jaejoong…I didn’t think about your suffering and wellbeing…all I know was my problem…you should not have suffered because of me, Jaejoong…
Yunho could feel his thoughts twisting and twirling into knots. Everything in his life seemed to fall tumbling down as if someone had flipped them over on top of him, crushing him as a punishment of what he had done to his wife. All that he could think right now was Jaejoong.
He closed his eyes, as he held Jaejoong’s hand close to his heart. Can you feel my heartbeat, sweetheart…it is beating for you…
Please wake up, my dear Jaejoongie…
My sweet, lovely Jaejoongie…
His throat felt constricted. He opened his eyes, and his gaze inadvertently settled on the envelope beside Jaejoong’s bed. He stared at it sadly.
He remembered what happened yesterday afternoon perfectly. He was crying beside Jaejoong’s bed, just like this, when someone knocked on the door.
It was Choi Siwon, Jaejoong’s long time friend who was also his lawyer.
Yunho felt the corner of his lips that was still bruising with his tongue, reminding himself of the hard punch given by Siwon yesterday.
He wished Siwon had beaten him up till he die.
But the guy gave him something more painful than dying. He had given him a divorce letter with Jaejoong’s signature and told him to give his.
He stared at the brown envelope heartbrokenly then turned to look at Jaejoong.
Jaejoong…do you really want to part from me?
Jaejoong…can’t you give me a second chance?
Jaejoong…do you hate me that much?
Jaejoong…please wake up, and tell me this is not true…
Jaejoong….
--
Yoochun looked at Junsu, who was sleeping soundly, face puffed up from crying. He reached out to tuck a stray hair behind his wife's ear, watching the man’s chest rose and fell rhythmically.
Yoochun was sitting down on the floor beside the bed, knees pulled up to his chest. These few days had been hectic and confusing. First, he met his old friend Heechul, and then his brother-in-law was admitted to the hospital, and now this? Yoochun leaned back his head so that it nestled close to Junsu’s arm. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the smell of Junsu.
Guilt wrapped around his heart. He never kept secrets from Junsu, and surely never one as big as this.
He knew about Yunho and Heechul. Yoochun sighed when he remembered what happened this afternoon.
He was busy catering to his customers in his salon when Heechul had come barging in unexpectedly with a troubled expression.
“Hyung? Is something wrong? The other day…you just ran out without saying anything…what happened?” Yoochun asked the man worriedly. They had been so close before, and since he did not have any sibling, he had considered Heechul as his own brother. They had gone through good and bad times together when they were in apprenticeship, and he remembered how Heechul had often helped him and backed him up whenever he had problem. But their dreams lead them to separate paths, and Yoochun had been so happy their paths had crossed again.
Heechul looked at Yoochun with his sad eyes, and pulled him towards a quieter corner in the salon.
“I’m really sorry for what happened that day…but Yoochun, I have something important to ask you.” Heechul said seriously, his tone of voice matching his face.
“Sure..what is it Hyung?” Yoochun replied.
“Do you…do you know Jung Yunho?” Heechul asked, lips trembling a little as he said his boyfriend’s name.
“Yes, of course I know him. He’s my wife’s elder brother’s husband.” Yoochun explained in all honesty. Heechul’s hands which had been holding Yoochun’s arms felled to his side, as he took in the fact that he had already known.
“And your wife’s brother…is Kim Jaejoong?” Heechul asked, although he already knew what the answer would be.
“Yes. Do you know them Hyung?” Yoochun asked back, his face turning into one filled with curiosity and confusion.
Heechul let out a sigh. The world sure is so small…he thought to himself.
He had been having an affair with Yunho.
Who was Jaejoong’s husband and Yoochun’s wife’s brother.
Heechul looked back at Yoochun.
“Yes, I do know them. In fact, I’m in relationship with one of them.” Heechul said, matter-of-factly. What is there to hide?
“What??” Yoochun said in disbelief.
“I am Jung Yunho’s boyfriend, Chun. We’ve been dating for 10 years now.”
“But how could…but you never tell me…Yunho-hyung…” Yoochun could not make out a coherent sentence anymore. He was confused, how could Yunho-hyung had a boyfriend when he was married to Jaejoong-hyung?
“I did not know Yunho is your brother-in-law, Chun…” Heechul said slowly, looking down at his feet.
Then realization struck him. Yunho-hyung and Heechul-hyung had been having an affair...behind Jaejoong-hyung’s back.
He felt anger rose to his face, as he looked at Heechul sharply.
“Hyung! How could both of you do this to Jaejoong-hyung!!” Yoochun hissed at Heechul, not daring to yell as he was afraid it might scare his other customers.
Heechul looked up at Yoochun, eyes pleading for understanding.
“Chun, before you say one more word, please let me explain. Like I said, I’ve been Yunho’s boyfriend long before they were married. Yes, I admit we are having an affair…but tell you what, Jaejoong knows about us. He knows, Chun…and he came to see me. He said he was going to file for a divorce so that I could be with Yunho…” Heechul said, tears beginning to pool inside his eyes.
“I could not do it, Chun…I thought I would finally get back what’s mine…but this feeling inside me…my instinct keeps telling me I have already lost Yunho…even if Jaejoong let Yunho go, I have a strong feeling that he would not come to me…Yunho would go back to Jaejoong…” Heechul said, tears sliding down his cheeks. Yoochun suddenly felt sorry for the man in front of him.
“But why didn’t you guys marry in the first place? You said you’ve been together for so many years…” Yoochun asked for clarification, anger seeping out of him and replaced with empathy.
“That’s where I have made a mistake, Chun…I’ve let Yunho marry Jaejoong because I was still not ready to marry then…I’ve let my chance go…” Heechul said dejectedly, one hand wiping the tears.
Yoochun felt like he was sandwiched between two sides. One side was Heechul and Yunho, and the other was Jaejoong and Junsu. He felt frustrated and choked by the situation.
“Why do you tell me this?” Yoochun asked finally, letting his frustration known.
“Because I need to see Jaejoong. I need to tell him not to file the divorce. I tried calling Yunho, but he did not answer my call. I went to their house but there was no one at home. I don’t know where else to go to find both of them, Chun...so I come to see you. I saw your wedding picture with Yunho and Jaejoong in it the last time I was here…that picture was the reason I ran out without saying anything to you…I could not bear the thought that you and them are related…and that I would hurt you by hurting them…I really need to talk to Jaejoong, Chun…” Heechul said, desperation can be clearly heard in his voice.
Yoochun took in what Heechul had said, trying hard to decipher it all. He understood Heechul’s perspective, but what he was asking Yoochun was a little hard to fulfill.
“But he is in the hospital now. Jaejoong-hyung is in coma.”
--
Siwon stared down at Yunho, who was sitting in a chair outside Jaejoong’s room. They were the only two people at the hospital’s corridor.
Siwon tapped his feet impatiently, as he stood waiting for the other man to do what he had asked him to do.
“Just hurry up and sign the paper.” Siwon said coldheartedly. Why should I be kind to the guy who had hurt Jaejoong…
Siwon felt his blood boiling whenever he saw Yunho’s face. He felt like he could just beat Yunho lifeless, but he knew that would not help Jaejoong at all. Well, he did punch Yunho once yesterday, but it was a compulsive act that had been initiated by looking at Jaejoong’s unconscious body lying on the hospital bed.
Siwon regretted letting Jaejoong back to his house after they had met the last time. He should have insisted that Jaejoong comes with him. He, Choi Siwon, had let Jaejoong went back to the hell he had been living in and let him suffered from the demon that is Jung Yunho.
The selfish demon that does not deserve even a speck of Jaejoong’s pure love.
Siwon could not help but wondered…why did Jaejoong love this bastard and not me?
That thought tortured him, but he quickly pushed it out of his mind. He had promised to himself that he would not put anymore hope on getting Jaejoong’s love. Now, his hatred towards Yunho was purely driven out from his concern on his close friend.
Yunho stared down at the paper on his lap. He glanced once at Siwon, who looked as mad as he was yesterday. Yunho looked down at the paper again.
This was what I wanted from the beginning…
For us to go on our separate ways…
So I did get what I wanted…
But is this what I really want?
Yunho breathed deep, his heart hurting as he knew the answer to the question he had posed to himself.
I want Jaejoong…
Yunho clutched the paper tightly with both of his hands. Suddenly he stood up, and began tearing the paper into tiny pieces before throwing it into the dustbin.
“Yahhh!! What the hell are you doing?!!” Siwon yelled as he realized what Yunho had done.
Yunho looked at Siwon, his expression as miserable as his feeling.
“I’m not going to sign the divorce paper. I’m going to wait until Jaejoong wakes up. If he wants a divorce, I want to hear it from him myself.”
Siwon was speechless. He did not expect this from Yunho. Fury took over Siwon’s mind as he grabbed the man’s shirt collar and pinned him on the wall.
“You!!! Why are you so selfish??? Jaejoong had wanted this…and now, even when he’s in a coma, you wouldn’t grant his wish?? Isn’t this what you want Yunho…to be free from this marriage???!!” Siwon said, teeth gritting as he tried to control his anger.
Yunho did not even bother to struggle free from Siwon’s grip. Instead, he looked at Siwon with gloomy eyes.
“I will not divorce him like this, not when I haven’t had a chance to apologize.” Yunho muttered in reply.
Siwon let go of Yunho’s collar, looked away, before unexpectedly turning and punching Yunho squarely on the jaw, sending the man sprawling across the floor.
“Yesterday’s was for making Jaejoong suffers…and that, Mr. Jung Yunho, is for being such an asshole.” Siwon said, wiping both of his hands together before turning and walking away. Yunho felt his lips bleeding again, and licked it to confirm. He tasted his own blood.
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