Fan Fiction |
by YukLing
After taking a quick shower then blow drying her hair, Qian came back out into the living room and was surprised to find Ray standing in her kitchen.
"Hi, I went down to the grocery store nearby and bought some eggs." Ray smiled then he looked around her kitchen. "Where is your pan?"
"It's..it's in the bottom drawers on your left." Qian answered shyly.
Why was Ray so casual and relaxed when she was feeling so very awkward and weird? Were they supposed to be back to normal as before or were they supposed to be different with each other now? She really wanted to know but didn't know how to go about asking him.
"How do you like your eggs?" Ray asked.
"Uh ...Oh...scramble, please."
Ray raised his left eyebrow at her polite reply. Qian looked away pretending not to have noticed his disapproving expression.
Qian continued to avoid Ray's eyes even after they both sat down and ate breakfast.
What did last night mean to him? Did he even remember or think much of it at all? He doesn’t seem to be. What if it was nothing to him? She was pretty sure with the vast experience that Ray has had with other women, what happened last night was probably insignificant. Did he kiss her out of temptation and desire or out of convenience? She wished she knew what Ray was thinking.
As for her, last night did mean something -- it meant that she did have some kind of feelings for Ray, at least some attraction. But Qian knew it wasn't love. No, a person doesn't just love someone after a few kisses or a night of intimacy. Whatever it was that Qian felt for Ray, it could not be deep enough for them to have a long future together. Maybe it would be better if Qian had stopped wondering about these silly questions, and just forget about last night. Falling in love with Ray was the last thing Qian wanted to do. He would only break her heart, and Qian just wasn't sure if she could take that risk.
Ray glanced across the table and saw that Qian was in deep thoughts. He knew she probably had a zillion questions going thru her mind right now. Qian might be having doubts and unsure about what happened last night, but Ray knew he was not confused. He was not the type of guy who didn't know what he want or like when he sees it. And now that he finally knew the answer to his question, he wasn't going to let Qian go easily. It might take her sometime though to get use to the idea, but he's willing to wait. Just as long as Qian did have some feelings for him, he was sure he'd win her heart completely -- it was just a matter of time.
“Qian, I know you’re probably wondering about last night.” Ray finally broke their silence. “What happened between us was a natural thing between two adults. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”
“I’m not.” Qian lied. “It’s just...weird. I don’t know what to do...” Then Qian shook her head, “We shouldn’t have...”
“Kissed?” He finished her sentence. Ray was right in guessing that Qian was having 2nd thoughts about last night. Then he defended their action by saying, “Qian, it was a mutual feeling. I kissed you because I wanted to, and you kissed me because you wanted to."
“I know, I’m not blaming you.” Qian replied then looked away from him.
Ray stood up from his chair and walked around the table facing Qian directly. He pulled her up from her chair and held her hands tightly. Ray’s heart was beginning to beat rapidly as he tried to find the right words to express his feelings. “Do you know what I discovered this morning?”
Qian shook her head slowly and whispered, “No.”
“I think ...I think....I'm in love with you." Ray finally confessed.
Qian swallowed hard as she tried to comprehend his words. She had stopped breathing altogether. This was not at all what she had expected for him to say. Qian continued to gaze into Ray's eyes, searching for some hint of mockery or deception.
"You don't believe me, do you?” Ray asked. He knew she would be surprised and shock at his declaration of love. But he really didn't know how else to say it without being truthful and blunt as he was, after all, Ray had never spoken those words to anyone before.
Qian quickly pulled her hands away and looked the other way. "Please don't tease me, Ray. How could you be in love with me just from last night?
"You have no idea how much I've been wanting you, Qian. It wasn't just last night. No, last night was just a confirmation for me that I have been falling in love with you during these last few months. Did you know why dates after dates I've broken up so many time after a single date? It was because I couldn't feel any attraction or chemistry with them. I didn't even realize this myself until recently. It was you I wanted. At first, I thought it was just lust and physical attraction and that was why I had stayed away from you in the last few weeks. But I couldn’t get you out of my mind and that’s why I came looking for you at the playground...I couldn’t lie to myself anymore." Ray placed her hand on his heart “Qian, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before. I think...you touched my heart the moment you decided to keep our baby even though at that time I knew you hated me. And then, we saw each other every week and sometime several days in one week. I suppose it also had something to do with the fact that you were near me but that I couldn’t have you. It just drove me insane that you occupied my thought constantly.”
Qian could feel the rapid beating of his heart, it was beating as fast as hers.
“Ray, this is all too much for me.”
“I know...I didn’t believe it myself at first either. I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love after the fall-out of my parent’s marriage...but I was wrong. All I’m asking is for you to give me a chance. Can you at least promise me that?” Ray lifted Qian’s face up so he could see her eyes.
For every single second that Qian remained silent, Ray felt a torturous pain inside him.
Then she finally said “I need time.”
Ray took a deep breath then exhaled. Although he was disappointed somewhat by her reaction and reply, but at least he knew she did not reject him – which meant there was still hope for him. He knew he'd have to try harder to convince her that his love was true.
{Setting : Myolie & Ron’s House}
Myolie waited for Ron to leave for work before going back inside the restroom. It was the third time this week that she had completed the test. She wanted to make sure the results were consistent with one another. Myolie smiled with satisfaction and threw the testing strip away. Then she went to her room and pulled out a large luggage from the closet and placed it onto the bed. It was a good thing she had left most of her clothes still inside the luggage from hers and Ron’s trip to Thailand last month. It meant she would take her less time to pack since her flight was due in less than an hour. Myolie checked to make sure she got all her belongings then turned off the light in the room. She gave one last glance at hers and Ron’s bedroom and one last look at a small gold ring lying on the dresser table before closing the door behind her.
{Announcer : Flight 119 to Paris, France, Please meet at Gate 35 for departure. }
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It was past 6PM when Qian glanced down at her computer clock. She has been deeply concentrated on writing her last chapter that had almost forgotten the time. Ray should be stopping by any minute, Qian thought. Ever since the day when Ray confessed his love for her, their relationship has taken to a new level. Although she still hid her feelings or whatever it was she felt for him, Ray had continuously showered her with his affection and commitment. He was very persistent on pursuing her love. Everyday after work, Ray would stop by her apartment and check up on her, making sure she had all the help she needed around the apartment. Already into her sixth month, Qian found it harder and harder to do things like she used to be able to do. And although she did not want to accept Ray's help so easily because she was still unsure of her own commitment and feelings for him, she was glad for the extra help and the fact that he was always nearby. At times, Qian felt guilty and bothered for not being able to return the same amount of affect to Ray, but at other time she found herself touched by the many things he has done and the things he has given up just for her.
{Sound : Door Bell}
Qian quickly got up from her seat and went to open the door. To her surprise when she opened the door, it was not Ray but a young boy.
"Hi, are you Miss Li Qian?"
"Yes, can I help you?" Qian asked.
"I'm from the nearby grocery store. Mr. Lam called this morning and asked me to bring the grocery up for you. It's already paid for. May I come in to set them down for you?"
Why did Ray have someone deliver groceries for her? Normally, he would stop by and take her grocery shopping instead.
"Yes, of course. Please set them on the kitchen counter." Qian replied as she opened the door for the grocery boy to come in.
"Did...did Mr. Lam say anything else?" Qian asked curiously as the boy carried 5 big bags of groceries onto her kitchen and placed them onto the counter.
"No Miss. He just called in and asked us to deliver the items on his list. Will you be needing help with these? He has also directed me to assist you if you needed anything else."
"No, no thank you."
After the boy left, Qian started to unpack the items in the bags.
Could it be that Ray was ill and that was why he cannot come and take her for grocery shopping instead? But if he was ill, he would have told he, wouldn't he? It was not very like him to have not called her and tell her ahead of time. Qian was continuously debating with herself if she should call Ray to see if there was everything was alright with him.
Qian waited an hour after she had finished putting away the groceries before she decided to call him. His cell phone was ringing but no one answered the phone. Qian was beginning to be worried. Then she hanged up and called his work place, but there was no one at the office since it was after-hours. After several attempts of trying to call Ray unsuccessfully, Qian decided to take a taxi to his place.
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It was passed 9PM by the time Qian reached Ray's penthouse. After ringing the bell many times and knocking on the door, Qian went back downstairs.
"Excuse me, can you tell me if the tenant in Suit 16A is in his penthouse?" Qian asked the security guard.
"16A? That's Mr. Lam's place. I am not sure, Mame. I could call to check for you."
"Could you do me that for me? I knocked on his door and called his cell phone but he has not answered. I'm just worry about him."
"Yes, let me dial his home number. Hold on just a minute." The security guard dial Ray's number and let it rang 10 times before hanging up. "It seems he's not there, Mame."
"Could you please let me inside? I'm his friend."
"I'm sorry I cannot let you inside Mame, unless your name is also on his guest list."
"But I'm really worry for my friend, couldn't you just come with me and let me see if he's there or not?"
"No, Mame. I can take a look at his guest list and if your name is on it then I can let you in."
Qian gave out a desperate sigh, guessing her name was definitely not going to be on the list.
"What is your name, Mame?" The security guard asked.
"Li Qian, but it's probably not on the list."
The security guard started to type in her name into the computer, then smiled "Yup, I see your name on the list."
"Really??" Qian asked with a surprised in her voice. Why would Ray put her name on his guest list?
"Yup, your name was added last month. If you'll just wait for me a minute, let me get the key and we can go up the elevator together.
After the security guard opened the door for Qian, he asked "Uh, it looks pretty dark in here. Are you sure you'll be alright by yourself, Mame?"
"Yes I’ll be fine. Thank You." Qian replied. The darkness was the last thing on her mind -- she was just worry about Ray.
Qian turned on the light once she got inside the flat, then she took a quick scan before proceeding to search through each of the rooms.
"Ray? Are you here? Ray?" Qian called out as she entered each room, but he was nowhere to be found.
Finally, she reached the last room in the big hallway and opened the door to the room. It was total darkness inside as Qian called out again, "Ray?"
Then Qian heard a click and the room was light up dimly, she looked a crossed the room to see Ray lying in his King size bed.
"Qian?" Ray asked in a low voice.
"Ray!! Oh my gosh! I've been so worried about you." Qian exclaimed as she quickly walked across the room to his bedside. Immediately, she saw that Ray was profusely sweating and looked extremely pale. "You're sick!" She exclaimed again then raised her hand over his forehead, it was burning hot.
"I know." Ray murmured softly. He could barely keep his eyes opened, but Ray tried to stay alert to see if it was really Qian who was in front of him.
Qian quickly went to the bathroom and dampened a towel with hot water before coming back and sat down on the bed. "Did you go to the doctor?"
"I did. He gave me some medicine which I took already...but I think my fever has gotten worst since the last 8 hours." Ray replied weakly.
"You have a fever, of course the first 12 hours will be the worst. Why didn't you tell me?" Qian demanded angrily as she wiped his face with the hot towel.
Ray couldn't keep his eyes opened any longer and fell asleep.
The next morning, Ray felt fully recover from yesterday's fever when he woke up. As he was about to stretch his arms, he noticed that there was someone lying next to him. It was Qian. So he was not dreaming at all last night. She really did stay here and took care of him. Ray smiled to himself when he saw her sleeping peacefully as she lay asleep on his arm. Since he did not want to disturb her sleep, he just kept his arm still and only rolled sideway to face her. Ray continued to stare at Qian's slow breathing movement with her chest moving slowly up and down. After 15 minutes of staring at Qian, he could not resist any longer and bent down to kiss her soft lips. It has been almost a month since he has kissed her. Even though over the last few weeks, he had continued to see her, Ray had not touched or kissed her for he was afraid she would reject or be offended by him.
Qian felt a warming sensation inside her mouth as she slowly woke up form her sleep. Her mouth was moving automatically along with whatever it was that was moving and guiding it. Then slowly she opened her eyes to find that Ray was kissing her and that she has been receiving and responding unknowingly to his kisses.
When Ray discovered that Qian was awaken, he quickly lifted his face away from her and apologized, "I'm sorry."
Unexpectedly, Qian smiled back at him and replied "It's OK." Then she sat up from the bed with Ray's help. "How are you feeling this morning?"
"I'm all better. Thanks to you." Ray replied and smiled.
"You really scared me last night."
"I'm sorry. I didn't tell you I was sick because I didn't want you to worry about me. And I didn't think that you be..."
"...concern about you?" Qian finished his sentence. "We are friends, are we not? Of course I'm concern about you, Ray." Qian said as she touched his forehead with her right hand. “You’re not hot anymore.”
But he removed her hand from his forehead and then kissed it instead, "Is that all we still are -- just friends?" He asked with concern his eyes and voice.
Qian turned and looked the other way. She still was not sure of her feelings for Ray. She just knew she did care for him and that every time he looked at her, her cheeks would feel warm and inside she'd feel weird and awkward.
Then all of a sudden, Qian felt a strong pain in her stomach as she gave a slight yell, "Ouch!"
Ray jumped up and kneeled onto the mattress next to her, "What? Are you hurt, Qian?"
Qian shook her head as she continued to keep her eyes closed. "No, it's the baby. It just kicked me. I've been getting a lot of that lately."
Ray swallowed as he looked from Qian down to her big stomach, "You...you...you can feel our baby kicking inside of you?"
Qian opened her eyes again after the quick pain was gone. "Yes. The baby just kicked...right here." She placed her hand to the side of her stomach. "The baby should give another kick momentarily. It's been doing that lately. Two kicks in a row."
Without thinking, Ray immediately placed his hands and lowered his face next to her stomach to where she had just pointed. Then he looked up and asked, "Will I be able to feel the baby's kick if I keep my hands like this?" But soon he quickly withdrew his hands and sat up when he noticed that he has been touching her too intimately. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
Qian smiled at his innocent and seemingly gullible action. Although she was a little bit embarrassed for what she was about to do – she knew she wanted Ray to feel their baby too. And so she lifted her shirt up just above her belly then she took his hands and placed them directly on the side of her stomach. , "You should be able to feel the kick better this way."
As though the baby could sense the presence of both parents anxiously waiting for it, both Ray and Qian felt another kick soon thereafter. Ray's eyes were wide opened with surprise, shock and amazement when he looked up at Qian after having felt his baby's kick. Then Ray saw tears coming from Qian's eyes, but he knew they were not tears of sadness or pain but of happiness. Ray removed his right hand from her stomach and eased her down onto the mattress. With his thumb, he wiped away the tears that were flowing from her eyes, and then with his index finger he traced the outer line of her lips. Qian closed her eyes when she knew what he was going to do next. Then Ray bent down and kissed her, all the while still keeping his other hand on her stomach massaging their baby slowly. Both people lie there in bed that morning in each other’s arms – knowingly that a new life would soon be given to them and they would soon be one family alas.