| Fan Fiction |
by Seo.Tai.Mi [Sung.ii.ee]
Title: 3/5
Your title, honestly, is very attractive. Reading it for the first time, it caught my attention. I love how you started and ended your story with your title. However, what is reality overdose? What is it all about, really?
Poster/Background: 8/10
I love your poster. It has this enigmatic feel that draws people into reading your story. Extra points for making your own poster. (:
Forewords: 6.5/10
You mentioned too much in your forewords. I didn’t like it when you mentioned Abby was going to die. It’s very disconcerting, like a spoiler. It would have been better if you kept it a secret. Especially because it happened in the last/second to the last chapter.
Also, the latter part was very confusing but it was written beautifully, like, you really wanted your readers to get lost in the story for more suspense.
Plot: 13/15
I like your plot but ‘reality overdose’ really confused me. What the hell is reality overdose? I didn’t get how Abby, as an angel, suffered of reality overdose. Really. Call me slow or whatever, but I really didn’t get the ending. So can you please explain it to me after reading the whole review? :3
Moving on, I think the plot was well thought about. The plot is great and very calming.. Your story has a very tranquil, composed, and peaceful feel. I love it.
On the other hand, if you would ask me about what I thought the ending would be, I’d say—Young Saeng went crazy because of reality overdose. Knowing too much about angels and meeting one, made him crazy. Thus, the ending, he was overdosed by reality, by knowing too much.
But then, if it ended that way, it would be pretty predictable, I guess.
Sheesh. I’m bluffing. I’ve got to stop.
Creativity/Originality: 13.5/15
You are one hell of a creative writer.
I would have ended it there but then, it wouldn’t be nice if I won’t say more, right?
Your story is very original. Angels, Saint Peter, Epilepsy, Trains, Angels Cry, I would never think of writing anything that includes one of those. Your creativity is over the top. Hell, I’d love to write like you.
But again, I really want to read your mind and know how you really define reality overdose.
Flow: 8/10
Nothing much to say here.
It was smooth-sailing from start to end.
It’s just that I got confused at the ending part.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
Your vocabulary is great. I love how you included fancy words that made your descriptions really startling. I spotted a few grammar mistakes but they didn’t really bother me. Also, I just found a few misspelled words. Nothing to worry about. Just proof-read!
Characterization: 8/10
You portrayed your characters’ feelings really well. Ah Bee’s frustration because Young Saeng doesn’t believe in angels, Young Saeng’s love for her, their unspoken feelings for each other, everything. Every single feeling, may it be hatred, love, or sadness. Everything was clearly written.
Writing Style: 7/10
Though, I gave you a high score in characterization, I still have to say that your writing style is lacking, not of fancy words but of description.
Like:
“Really? How nice! Why haven’t we met before, then?”
”Don’t know. What class were you?”
”Class 9, floor 2. First on the right.”
“Holy cheesecakes… We were in the same class?!”
“I think you’re wrong.” Abby raised her eyebrow.
More description could make a story look/sound/seem better:
“Really? How nice! Why haven’t we met before, then?” Ah Bee gave Young Saeng an intent look, trying to refresh her memory. Though she already knew that she won’t recall anything, she still hoped; for she wanted to make herself believe that she was really human.
“Don’t know. What class were you?” Young Saeng asked.
“Class 9, floor 2. First on the right.” Ah Bee answered. Being an angel sent from heaven to earth, she was equipped with all the answers needed to be able to go through some questions.
“Holy cheesecakes… We were in the same class?!” Young Saeng’s eyes almost popped out for he was surprised that he missed out on such a great catch in college.
“I think you’re wrong.” Abby raised her eyebrow.
I want to continue but I don’t want to change your fic. Haha.
Do you get what I mean though? It would be better if you have more things to say about what is happening. Also, if you miss too much information, it gets really confusing. Like, you wouldn’t know who said which.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
The story was written really well and I love it! (:
Sub Total: 79/100
Bonus: 3/5
(:
Total: 82/100
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Thanks lots, Khla! <3
I'm glad you liked it :D
I'm trying to improve :D Especially in the description part.
"You are one hell of a creative writer."
For some reason, I still keep staring at that phrase pretty much flabbergasted. xD
Before I forget...
Thanks again!