| Fan Fiction |
by BoBoLi0us
*Note: I am not prejudiced toward the author or their fanfic in any way, this review is purely objective and is intended to help the author in becoming a better writer.*
Title: 4/5
Your title matches your story wonderfully.
Forewords: 7/10
Your forewords were pretty good, but you could have described the characters some, and given the readers some idea of the personalities of your characters.
First Impression: 8/10
At first glance, this story looks sad and depressing, and the poster and background match perfectly. The font color is good because it shows up against the background and it is able to be seen.
Plot/Story line: 8/15
Your plot is pretty simple. But the thing is, nothing happens really. It just tells about a random occurrence, but it affects the guy's life. If you had gotten into the guy's life more and elaborated about how exactly the girl affected him, and created a huge thing out of that one encounter, your story would have been much more exciting.
Flow: 4/5
Your story flowed pretty well. It did not speed up or drag on.
Creativity/Originality: 8/10
The plot itself was pretty original, but because you didn't expand the story, it made the story not as interesting.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 8/15
You have some grammar problems and spelling problems. Some words are missing letters, and some of your sentences are not clear. Your vocabulary could improve, but your punctuation is pretty good.
Writing Style: 8/10
Your writing style is pretty good, but you could have spaced them out better. If you had organized them according to the other thoughts they are related to, it might be easier to understand.
Characterization: 8/10
I think you characterized your two main characters well. You gave them both distinct personalities that made them unique. Good job!
Communication with Readers: 3/5
I think you really drew the readers in with the fact that a guy wanted love, but lost his chance.
Overall Enjoyment: 2/5
Subtotal: 68/100
Bonus: 2/5
Total: 70/100
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Thank you!