| Fan Fiction |
by cutterpillow ♥ CMH
Author: cutterpillow
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/SAT/
Reviewer: Go @smiles-lovel.co.nr
Title: 4/5
It doesn’t really give a strong impression of how the story will be, nevertheless it has the necessary connection with the main plot so I’m giving almost a full point.
Appearance/Poster/Background: 15/15
Light blue, or actually aqua, is a great choice. Since you requested it from a site, I don’t know whether the color was your choice or not, but I love it. The poster is great, I can read each words just fine as the background fits everything, neat and simple. Full point that is.
Forewords: 5/5
Good forewords you have there. The story description is neatly stated, starting everything. Then the summary gives the image needed. Furthermore, the main characters are both somewhat described as well inside the summary.
Plot: 10/15
It’s pretty easy to guess how the story will go on, though sometimes it surprises me at some point. Not really a cliché, but also not something really unusual. And besides, I’ve read a similar basic plot elsewhere.
Flow: 3/6
I saw in your note that this would be a short story, still I personally think that this is way too short. Or actually most of the scenes end too fast. Well, some are skipped or merely described in a few sentences, and I thought it would have been better if those ‘some’ are described further ;)
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
There is no problem with spellings, well maybe some minor ones but that doesn’t play a big part in this point reduction. I’m not that good at grammar, but some are easily spotted. You used both present and past tense sometimes in some sentences and some other grammar problems. Some of the words are better be replaced (example: in chapter one ‘Not like’ might be better written as ‘Unlike’). Punctuations are wrongly placed at some sections as well.
Characterization: 10/10
Great. You’ve built it up right from the beginning (summary) then you continue it throughout the story. I love Haruma’s character while Rosa’s is so unexpected.
Orginality: 5/8
When you mentioned that you were inspired by a book, I reckon the book will bring a great influence in your storytelling. Besides, I had read a somewhat similar plot before, the basic idea I mean.
Writing style: 5/6
Love it. English isn’t my first language as well so I can’t judge whether all can read it without being confused or not, but I say you do a great job.
Description : 9/10
You’re just missing a few bits here and there, but hey, people tend to make that mistakes in general.
Overall enjoyment: 7/10
It’s not like I hate short stories, but I’m pretty persistent with my previous thought that I’d love read a longer version of this. And that alone is enough to turn me off. Otherwise, it’s a great story :)
Overall score: 79/100
Notes: Firstly, I apologize for the tardiness. Well, tardy, especially after you’ve requested it to be as fast as possible while I decided to procrastinate a bit while catching up with my other projects a bit. In any case, here it is I’m presenting to you. I’ve also read what other reviewers wrote and maybe at some points my opinion mismatched theirs, so I hope this won’t bother you. Then, about the score, I’m pretty strict at some point if that explains, especially when I tend to care about details. Lastly, thank you for choosing me and good luck for your future endeavors :)
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DP: 09.17.09
thank you Go of SSLL ^__^