| Fan Fiction |
by cutterpillow ♥ CMH
- Story Title 6/8:
The title is not very unique, but it’s still one of those titles that just catch people’s attention. Also, the title’s connection with the story isn’t direct enough.
- Appearance 10/12:
The poster and background are really nice. The background is a light calming blue that’s really easy on the eyes. However, the poster doesn’t seem to connect with the story too well. From the poster, I would imagine Rosa as strong, independent young lady who’s unconventional. From the story, I see the unconventional connection. Rosa is still seemed like a strong and independent young lady in the story, but on a different (and slightly more immature) level.
- Forewords 10/10:
It’s short, but to the point. It should definitely attract readers.
- Plot 12/15:
Typical, easy to guess. However, it’s like chick-flicks, no matter how many times the same plot replay repeatedly, it just sells.
- Flow 6/8:
Not much problem with the flow, but as I read on I feel like you’re speeding through the story. I think you should develop the second half of the story more, starting from chapter 8.
- Originality/Creativity 9/12:
Too typical. However, the pairing is definitely original and fresh! ^__^ Thinking of becoming a casting director someday?
- Characterization 7/7:
I think each character is distinct, but there’s always room for improvement. Sometimes, you can slow down a bit and focus on each character’s motivation.
- Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary 8/13:
You should stick with one tense, past tense or present tense. Since English is not your first language, I suggest you to use past tense because it’s easier to write a story in past tense. There are also some typos here and there. To help improve on all these areas, you can get a beta-reader or learn to proof-read on your own. There are tons to resources out there to help improve one's writing skills, try to check your school library website or various university library websites for these useful resources.
- Writing style 7/10
Good for you for not using dialogue format! Especially, if you want to improve on your English writing, you should continue to practice writing descriptively. However, you should watch out using all caps in some sentences and words of your writing. Using all caps doesn’t look very professional and it’s harder for the audience to read. What you can do to avoid all caps is to be more descriptive with the characters’ feelings.
- Enjoyment 4/5
Reasons for enjoyment: 1) Haruma’s in this story! 2) Love Rosa’s realistic character 3) Love the last chapter’s confession scene.
Sub total 79/100
Bonus 3/5
Bonus point for trying out new shipping. I would have give you full bonus points if you have taken the time to go back and revise your story.
Total: 82/100
---
DP: 10.14.09
Thanks TongTong of http://exculpate-delusion.blogspot.com/