Fan Fiction |
by ran_shuang_hua
“Because you’re going to get lots of stuff,” XY retorted as she tried to fix Ah You’s hair. “Stop dancing for a while, will you? I’m getting dizzy with all your twirling.”
“Oh mom, I’m so glad Uncle Xim is here. It’s like having dad around,” Ah said with a contented smile as she finally settled on the couch.
“Well, I’m glad you like him because he’s a good friend of mine. But please baby, don’t get too many things from Wal Mart today,” XY pleaded as she put the last clip on Ah You’s hair.
“It’s not going to be my fault if Uncle Xim forces me,” Ah You replied in a sing-song voice.
XY gently made AY face her. “I’m serious, baby. Don’t abuse Uncle Xim’s kindness because it’s not nice. And he might think that I’m not good enough in providing your needs.
“But that’s not true. And Uncle Xim would never think that of you. He likes you,” AY beamed.
“And I like him too because he’s so nice to you. The other guys weren’t,” XY muttered.
“What other guys mom? There was never another guy after dad!”
“Is it bad to dream of being a goddess among men? Why do you always have to rub it in that I’m single???”
“Oh look, there’s Uncle Xim!” AY got off the couch and ran to get the door.
“How do you know he’s there?”
“Because I know how his car sounds like,” AY threw open the door and met XM at the patio. “UNCLE XIM!”
“I feel like I’m someone very important right now,” XM chuckled.
“Oh yes you are because you’re going to take us to Wal Mart!” AY beamed.
“AH YOU!!!!” XY said in a horrified gasp.
“No need to suck up all the air here, mom. Uncle Xim knows that I’m just joking!” Ah You said dryly.
“So are we all set?” XM asked cheerfully.
“Uh yeah…oh wait! I forgot AY’s backpack!” XY rushed inside to get the Totally Spies backpack.
“Where’s your bag?” XM asked XY when she came down,
“My bag?”
“Yeah, where you ladies put all your make-up stuff and all that,” XM tried to explain in the best possible way he can.
“Mom doesn’t have that,” AY pointed out.
“Huh? But isn’t it that every woman has one?” XM asked in a confused tone.
“Not this one. My definition of make-up is lip gloss and baby powder and it’s all in here with AY’s stuff,” XY raised the kiddie backpack she’s holding. “Come on,” she went out ahead of them.
“She doesn’t really carry a ladies’ bag?” XM whispered to AY.
“Nope, coz she doesn’t have one,” AY whispered back as she and XM stared at XY’s back.
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“Now where do we go first?” XM asks.
“There are rules, Uncle Xim, and I have to orient you first before we start this activity,” AY said with her hands akimbo. “First, upon entering Wal Mart, Popstar AY has to be placed on the cart’s baby seat,” AY then extended her arms upward, signalling XM to lift her up and put her there.
“Oh ok,” XM picks her up and settles her on the cart. “What’s the next one?”
“Actually, there are only two rules. The second one is that all of Popstar AY’s needs will be picked out first above everything else,” AY responded in a commanding tone.
“Now, can we start, your royal highness?” XY makes a mock bow.
“Ok,” AY replies chirpily.
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In a restaurant somewhere in Taiwan….
“Over here, MZ!” SC waved out to MZ.
“Why did you pick this table? It’s so dark here,” MZ protested.
“Someone might walk in and see us. It’s better to be here in the corner,” SC reasoned out.
“Alright, here’s the report,” MZ took out his laptop and let SC see the report.
“Wait, you didn’t see this beforehand, right?” SC asks.
“Of course, I didn’t! I play fair, SC,” MZ assured her.
After a few minutes…
“That’s it? All my eyes saw was either XM or XY but no XM AND XY!” SC complained to MZ.
“Apparently, they’re still not above the ‘business only and just friends’ line,” MZ said in a disappointed tone.
Both were brooding for some time until SC suddenly grabbed MZ and shrieked. “I know why! I know why!”
“What is it?” MZ asks excitedly.
SC whispers something to his ear. Afterwards, MZ looked at SC with complete admiration.
“I sure hope that the kids get your brains and not Ah Si’s!” he chuckled before he dials a number on his phone.
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“Uh you guys go get the pantry stuff while I’ll go over the soaps, detergents, etc. section,” XY told XM while they were in the middle of their shopping.
“Do we really have to split? How will I know what to get?” XM asks in a doubtful tone.
“Don’t worry, you have the list. And AY’s with you. She’s the guru of Wal Mart,” XY insisted. “Let’s just meet back here after 15 minutes,” XY dashes of without waiting for XM’s reply.
“Come on Uncle Xim, we’re going that way,” AY pointed to the opposite direction.
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“There’s no way I’m going to pick out my sanitary napkins and feminine wash in front of XM! If he was Peter then its fine but he’s XM!” XY muttered to herself as she walked as fast as she could to the feminine hygiene section.
“Where’s that brand, where’s that brand,” XY kept tapping her chin as she looked for the sanitary napkin brand that she always buys.
“Come on, show up,” XY was getting impatient. She still has to pay for her items without XM getting suspicious. There’s no way she’s going to let him pay for those!
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“Where’s your mom? She said to meet here after 15 minutes…” XM was starting to get worried. He and AY have been waiting there for 25 minutes now.
“Maybe she got lost,” AY suggested.
“Got lost?”
“Mom never had a good sense of direction,” AY stated.
“But this is just a grocery, not an entire city,” XM reasoned out. “Come on, she might be having a hard time carrying the stuff she got,” XM started to push the cart to look for XY on the other sections of the grocery,
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“Why do they have to run out of sanitary napkins today? Did the whole female population of San Jose had their visitors over the week?” XY says in an irritated tone. “Now I’m stuck with these tampons…”
XY eyed the offending item. “Why did they invent this thing? They seriously want me to stick this in my…in my…in my thing and be comfortable???”
“Eeew! If I want something sticking up inside my…thing, I’d definitely want something that belongs to the male anatomy and not something like this…Don’t you get devirginized with this thing?”
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“Uncle Xim, the soaps and detergents etc. section is still at the next row,” AY pointed out.
“But I think that’s your mom scrutinizing something,” XM pointed to the lady holding something closely to her eyes.
XM pushes the cart towards the lady’s direction. It was XY alright, and she was carrying this grocery basket full of things he doesn’t know what.
“XY, we’ve been looking for you for 15 minutes now,” XM said in a relieved tone.
XY jumped at his voice. She remembered that she was still holding the tampon so she quickly dropped it in the basket hoping that he won’t notice.
“What are you doing here mom? I thought you said you were going to get soap?” AY asks suspiciously.
“Uh nothing…I was just…I was just…”
“Fe-mi-nine Wash. Ta-tam-pons. What’s a feminine wash mom? And what’s a tampon?” AY asked as she read out the words on the plastic bottle and the small box she took from her mom’s basket.
“Give me that!” XY snatched back the bottle from AY’s hands with a horrified look. She was suddenly beet-red.
“Mom, why are you all red?” AY asks when she sees her mom’s face. “And you too, Uncle Xim?” she looked at XM who was looking at the opposite direction with an obvious blush on his face. “Am I supposed to turn red too?” AY asks innocently.
XM cleared his throat. “Uh we’ll just wait for you at the counter. We’ll go get the laundry stuff,” XM said without looking at XY.
“O-ok,” XY stammers.
After walking out of Wal Mart…
“So did you get what you need?” XM asks XY, not daring to give those “needs” a name.
“Ye-yeah. Got them,” XY replied with a nervous chuckle.
XM took a deep sigh. “Oh come on, let’s just get over it. I used to accompany the girls with their shopping when their husbands are not around.”
“Yeah. I mean its silly to make a fuss out of it. Actually I used to buy those stuff with…with…” XY looks at AY’s direction and looks at XM with imploring eyes.
“Oh, with…” XM nodded. “See, it’s a common thing for guys to see girls buy those stuff,” XM tried.
“And maybe next time I could ask for your opinion…” XY tried too.
“Ah, uh-huh,” XM replied with a constipated look. “Let’s go home?”
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“I can carry all these,” XY insisted.
“XY, you may be a supermom but you’re no superwoman. How could you carry 15 bags at once?” XM asked knowingly.
“But you see, my house is…my house is…” XY tried to stop XM from getting in but she was unsuccessful. “…is a mess.”
XM was shocked at the house’s state of disarray but he kept his shock discreetly.
“Told you…” XY said sheepishly.
“Well, there’s a solution for this,” XM dialled something on his phone. “Hello, Mrs. Kim? Yes its me, Ken. Do you happen to know any house cleaner except for XY? Uh, you see, I’m going to ask for someone who could clean XY’s house right now.”
“XI MEN!!!” XY gasped.
“Ok thanks, bye,” XM snapped his phone close. “Mrs. Kim says that we could leave the keys of your house with her and then she’ll just give it to the house cleaner,” he relayed the message to XY.
“You can’t do this!” XY protested.
“XY, just think of this as your free day. Let’s go out and unwind some more while your house is being taken care of,” XM begged cutely.
“I know what we could do!” AY popped out of nowhere.
“You’re like a mushroom! You keep popping out suddenly from nowhere,” XY said in an annoyed tone.
“What do you want to do popstar?” XM crouched to AY’s height.
“Something that I know mom loves to do!” AY beamed. “Come on, let’s go,” she tugged at XM’s and XY’s arm.
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“XM, you’re not marking your cards properly! How are we going to win if you’re like that?” XY lectured.
“But I’m getting confused with all these numbers and letters,” XM scrunched his forehead at the 5 cards in front of him.
“It’s easy! Look, even AY can do it,” XY pointed to AY who has busy humming while stamping out the numbers on her cards. “And she’s even watching over 10 cards!”
“Oooh mom, I’m just one number away!” AY squealed excitedly.
“Really? Let me see,” XY animatedly went behind AY’s chair to take a peek at the cards. “Oh baby you’re so close!”
“Uh XY, I’m supposed to form a pattern like the one on that board, right?” XM tapped XY’s shoulder to get her attention.
“Yeah, yeah,” XY said distractedly, concentrating on AY’s card and waiting for the next number to be called.
“So my card is ok, right?” XM flashed his card in front of XY’s face.
“Yeah, yeah, your card’s fine. Now stop waving…” XY stopped short when she saw 3 marks on XM’s card forming a big triangle. “OMG!OMG!” XY started grabbing XM’s card and arm at the same time.
“What?” XM panicked.
“You have to shout it!” XY began tapping XM’s arms a bit forcefully.
“Say what?” XM was more confused than ever.
“Bingo! You have to shout out Bingo!” AY joined in.
“Me? Shout Bingo?” X asked in a mortified tone. “You do it,” he thrust his card in XY’s hands.
“No, YOU have to say it because it’s your card,” XY insisted.
“But…”
“XI MEN!”
“UNCLE XIM!”
XY and AY shouted at the same time.
“Ok…Bi…BINGO!”
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“You were so good, Uncle Xim!” AY chirped happily from her comfortable sitting position on XM’s shoulders.
“That was so embarrassing…Imagine me, XM, shouting Bingo!” XM sulked as they walked on XY’s lawn.
“Oh come on, I know you had fun! Admit it!” XY nudged XM’s arm playfully.
“Who wouldn’t have fun after winning 6 out of 12 games? And the Jackpot Blockout too!” AY beamed as she recalled the bowl of cash in front of her face. XM had given all his winnings to her.
“Well…I suppose I did have fun…” XM hesitantly admitted.
“There’s no need to be shy about it. You were practically all stamp stamp stamp and Bingo Bingo Bingo!” XY chuckled.
“And all the people there were giving me dagger looks!” XM added.
“Can’t blame them. You took away their money,” AY butted in.
“Ok, I better get going,” XM said as he put AY down on the patio.
“Do you want to come in? Don’t you want to see the result of your cleaning service?” XY asks as she turns the knob.
“WOW!” AY exclaimed. “Our house finally looks like a home! Thanks Uncle Xim!” she hugged XM’s legs.
“You’re welcome, Xiao,” XM said as he ruffled her hair.
“Well, to say thanks, I’m inviting you to eat dinner with us tonight,” XY demanded instead of asked.
“Oh mom, could you just cook pasta? That’s the only thing you could get right,” AY pouted.
XY made her eyes go big at her.
“Ok, Uncle Xim. Why don’t I show you around while mom’s busy with the kitchen?” AY suddenly said as she got the ‘no more Britney paper dolls for you if you don’t shut up’ look from her mom.
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“BINGO! B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O!” MZ sang and danced happily.
“Honey? Why are you singing nursery rhymes in the middle of the night?” XQ asked groggily.
“Sorry honey, just go back to sleep,” MZ kissed XQ’s forehead and headed to the balcony connected to their room.
“Wei, SC?” he whispered to his mobile phone.
“MZ! So, is it ok?” SC asks excitedly, also whispering.
“Yeah! Eagle 2 has landed safely on the red carpet!”
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comments please!^_^