Fan Fiction |
by strawberry_hit
It has been long now and Rain has not returned. I’m starting to get worried. She’s out there by herself while I’m here in Raymond‘s save warm arm. Is that unfair for her. I couldn’t really take the guilty feeling and so slowly pushed myself away from him.
“What’s wrong?” Raymond asked in confusion.
How can I answer him this. It’s just too hard to.
“I….I..I just have to go somewhere first”
Without letting him a chance to say a word, I rushed out of the room. I’m really sorry Raymond, but I can’t let you be too close to me. Rain is such a nice girl. I shouldn’t even let him hugged me before. How could I’ve been so stupid like that. I’m like half dead now, I shouldn’t have let him have feelings for me. Or maybe he doesn’t really. Maybe he’s being so nice is just because he’s suppose to do that to repay me. I still shouldn‘t been too close to him anyway. I don’t want Rain to think anything bad towards me.
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The corridor was still quite empty. There’s only a few nurse and doctors walking up the down checking here and there. There’s only me who’s not suppose to be here.
I sighed deeply and walked on. Maybe a nice coffee will make me settle down and forget what had just happened. I looked up and the sign above and followed it to the canteen.
“Michelle” I heard Rain voice called from my left.
I turned over to looked while she’s finishing of her breakfast.
“Hey, I just felt like having a coffee so I come here.”
“Oh ok then. Hope it will make you feel better. You don’t seems that well. Oh I have to go and see if Raymond’s ok now. See ya later”
Rain stood up quickly then rushed out of the canteen. I’ve never really seen Rain cared for someone that much. If she loose Raymond then what will she turned into.
With another sighed I walked over to get myself a cup of coffee. The coffee contain a lot of sugar but I don’t know why the more I tried to find the sweetness in it the more bitter it tasted. I put the cup on the table and rushed over to find more sugar. I put a few more bags in then taste. Strange it taste even more bitter then before. Is it because of the coffee or it’s because of me.
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6:00 am
Finally after another dozen bag the coffee finally taste a little bit sweeter. I paid for it then might as well buy some food for Raymond since I bet that he will be really hurry by now.
I walked quickly not thinking about anything at the moment beside him seeing these food. I bet he would like. Well I’m sure that no one would resist the taste of toasted fruit bread and eggs. I reached the door, open it and was about to walk in when I saw Rain sitting beside Raymond bedside and was leaning on his shoulders.
So Raymond let every girl lean on him like that.
I know I have no right’s to feel this way but for some reason the jealousy feeling slowly arise inside me. I hold the bag of food more tightly was hot tears slowly fall.
“Michelle you are just useless. You have to right to cry. You’re not his anything. You shouldn’t cry.” I told myself
I took a deep breath as I wipe away those tears of my that shouldn’t have been there in the first place. I started to walk in slowly and put this fake cheery smile on myself.
“Hey sorry to disturb, but I just got something for Raymond”
I quickly put the bag of food in Raymond’s arm then step back not wanting Rain to think that there’s anything wrong with me.
“I just go now. Just keep doing what you are doing”
I turned around then started to walk out. From behind I could hear Raymond calling me softly since he couldn’t use his voice. I know he wanted to say thanks, but sorry Raymond I couldn’t stay there and see what I just saw.
It’s time to move back and say give up. No one wanted to love someone who‘s dieing in a few hours. If Raymond knows he would let go of me anyway. I have to step back if I want to bring happiness to both of them. I don’t deserve to love him. I couldn’t even keep myself alive. They are just perfect for each other. It’s really is the right time to move back. Raymond shouldn’t waste his time on me. It’s not worth it.
I sigh then look up at ceiling trying to stop the tears from running down my cheeks. Crying doesn’t help anything. I shouldn’t cry. It couldn’t change my fate, it couldn’t heal my sickness so why should I bothered to cry anyway.
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From what I see it's repetitive but hey I need that to move on with the story..he he hope it's not that bad. :)