Fan Fiction |
by Hibiscus
Picking Sugar up from the stroller, Tuesday sat her on the mat. Sugar immediately sat up and stared at Tuesday until Tuesday clapped at Sugar’s sitting up achievement. Then Sugar’s little face broke into a toothless smile and Tuesday felt a tug at her heart strings.
It had been five months since her mother died. Five months since her grandmother left. 6 months since her sister had run away. And four months, three weeks, two days, seven hours, 25 minutes and 15 seconds since Daniel had walked out.
Tuesday opened a cup of baby food and Sugar perked up, reaching out with her chubby arms. Tuesday carefully tucking Sugar’s napkin under her little chin and fed her, one spoonful at a time. Sometimes, the spoonful of food was a Mommy bird and sometimes it was a plane landing in Sugar’s hungry mouth. After feeding Sugar, Tuesday carefully burped her and then picking her up, she started her daily promenade around the garden.
She had been forced to leave school and find a job after her Grandmother left. Her grandmother had wanted nothing to do with either Sugar or Tuesday. Tuesday knew that if not for Sugar she’d have given into insanity, the blackness which seemed to coexist with her existence.
She spoke to Sugar often and she did now too.
“I wonder how your other Mommy’s doing, Sugar. I wonder if she misses you. What am I saying? Of course she misses you.”
“Do you think grandma is well? She looked very old and sad when she left. I felt bad for her. I hurt her by existing and I was sorry but you know what, Sugar? As bad as it may seem, I am glad I exist. I got to hold you in my arms. I got to taste Daniel’s kisses. I got to breathe the summer sun and drink the winter rain. I got to dance. I really am glad I exist. Am I a bad person?”
“I’m glad you are with me, Sugar. I can talk to you. The sunflowers are too haughty for conversation and the sky never listens to me. I wonder how Daniel is. Do you think he has found someone else to kiss now? It hurts when I think of him. I mean, I hurt inside all the time but this hurt is a bit different in flavor.”
Tuesday rubbed Sugar’s back and Sugar snuggled closer to her, eyes drifting shut in response to the comforting rub and the cadence of Tuesday’s voice.
When Sugar had finally fallen asleep, Tuesday kissed her plump cheeks, breathing in the fresh baby smell. Then she settled Sugar in the stroller and prepared to push her back into the house so she could tuck her up in her crib.
Someone had been standing the whole while Tuesday had been settling Sugar in the stroller. Tuesday stopped short, her breath wheezing out in surprise as she saw who it was.
“Amelie…” Amelie had returned. After so long. And there was a strange man beside her. Amelie walked forward and grasped Tuesday’s hands.
“I told you I’d be back. I told you he still loved me.” Amelie smiled, her happiness bubbling over. “Where are Grandma and Mom?”
Tuesday stared at Amelie mutely.
“Well? I want to introduce Adam to them.” She pulled the man’s hand and he came and stood by her, smiling at Tuesday.
“Ruby died.” Tuesday whispered.
“What?” Amelie’s face went devoid of colour.
“There was a storm. Grandma fell asleep and Ruby escaped. She ran into the road and since the rain was falling so heavily, the driver didn’t see her. She died on the way to the hospital. Grandma wasn’t able to handle the pain and left to be with her family.”
For a moment everything was silent. Then Amelie reached out and slapped Tuesday as hard as she could. Tuesday’s head was thrown to the side by the force of the slap. Adam reached out and restrained Amelie as she hit Tuesday over and over again.
“You took my father from me!” Amelie said with tears straining down her cheeks. “And now you have taken my mother too! I hate you; I wish you had died instead of my mother.”
Then all of a sudden she reached out and grabbed a hold of Tuesday’s hair forcing her face up. “Where’s Lydia?!” Amelie demanded.
“Lydia?” Tuesday whispered in a broken voice.
“My baby! Where’s MY BABY?” Amelie screamed.
Sugar awakened by Amelie’s screaming, cried out. Amelie let go of Tuesday immediately and went to the stroller. She picked up Sugar and held her close.
“Her name’s Sugar.” Tuesday whispered. Her lip had been cut from Amelie’s slap.
“Her name is Lydia. You don’t get to name her. From now on you have nothing to do with her or me.” Amelie looked at Tuesday with hatred. “Let’s go Adam.”
Adam said, “We can’t just leave her alone.”
Amelie paused and looked back at Tuesday who stood still as a statue. “Yes we can. If I never see her again, I will consider myself the most blessed woman in the entire world.”
They left. And Sugar started crying. Tuesday stood until she couldn’t hear Sugar crying anymore. Her ears strained for a sound but the distance had already eaten away the last bit of contact she’d ever have with the baby.
The sun had lowered considerably and the showy twilight was spreading his orange wings across the sky. Tuesday sank to her knees, in the overgrown grass, in her backyard, in the silence. The silence seemed to talk to her, invaded her very essence, mocking her aloneness, whispering insidious taunts about her existence.
The walls Tuesday had constructed so carefully ever since she realized she was not wanted, ever since she had started breathing, started to crack. The hurt was red hot and burning inside of her. Tuesday gasped for breath as the hurt spread inside her, racing along her veins and accumulating in her heart. She heaved dry sobs and rubbed her chest as though to lessen the pain. Finally she couldn’t stand it any more and she screamed. Again and again.
Daniel had never driven so fast in his entire life. The neighbor he had paid to keep an eye on Tuesday had called him about the sister’s arrival and departure with the baby. He ran into the house, paused and then heard the scream. He changed direction and ran into the room with the three walls and into the backyard. He paused at the sight of Tuesday, shaken.
She had her arms clutched around herself and was keening softly. And then louder. And the first tears that had ever dared to appear in Tuesdays eyes were falling. Tuesday put up her hands and caught her tears as they fell.
Daniel stepped forward. “Tuesday.”
“Daniel, I’m raining.” Tuesday held out her hands to him in a mixture of plea and bewilderment. Daniel felt the answering tears gather in his eyes.
He sat down on the ground beside her.
“They took Sugar away. They left everything that had to do with me behind. Even her name.”
“I didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t ask to exist. Why do they keep hurting me again and again?”
Daniel tried to hold her and Tuesday pushed him away.
“No! You left. Everyone left. I’m tainted. My mother never saw me, she never held my hands, and she never put me in her lap and sang me a lullaby. She never kissed my cheeks and told me she loved me. My sister blames me for everything and so she should. If I wasn’t, she’d still have her mother, her father, her happy golden life.”
“I tried to be quiet, to pretend I wasn’t there. I tried to be good and as a dog begs for scraps of food, I begged for love. Affection. Recognition. An affirmation that yes, I exist. That yes, I mean something.”
“No one gave me that. Until you. And with you, I realized I actually did mean something. That maybe there was a purpose I breathed. But you left too. You left, Daniel. You walked away from me. Why didn’t you understand? Why? I couldn’t cry because once I started, I would never stop.”
“But I had Sugar. I lived for Sugar. Her eyes follow me, her mouth smiles for me and her little hands reach for me. I lived for her. And they now they have taken her away too. I have no one. No one at all.”
Daniel couldn’t stand it anymore. Fighting her hands which tried to push him away again, he dragged her into his lap, holding her tightly.
“I’m sorry I left, Tuesday. You do have a purpose. You do have a meaning. You are my sun light. My eclipse. My rainy days, my sad days. You are my happiness. You are the morning and you are the reason I wake up. You are the darkness in my nights and the softness in my sleep. You are my succor and you are my hunger. Wo ai ni.”
Her tears drenched his shoulder and Tuesday finally cried with her fingers splayed on Daniel’s chest, feeling his heart beat.
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Author's Note: I hope this chapter got some/any response from you cuz it was the hardest chapter to write. If you got tears in your eyes, I did my job. Oh, Happy, four more chapters to go till the end. =)