| Fan Fiction |
by Krista
Title: 5/5
The title makes sense with the story, since Tanya and Taeyang have stated so from square one.
Forewords: 7/10
You had a characters description, but didn't describe the characters much.
But the Summary part kept me reading.
Appearance: 4/10
The poster is okay, nothing spectaular about it. Background is plain as well as the font. You know you could always request a background and poster. I'm sure some sites are waiting for some one to ask. But it's just a suggestion.
Plot: 15/20
The plot is cliche, yet you still manage to keep it interesting. I know it's difficult to think of something that's never been used, but even over dramatic things are different than others.
Characterization: 7/15
Since you're still working on the story, I can't really say. But from what I read, there wasn't much description of any of the characters, besides the fact that he's from Big Bang and she's "different" than the others. Much more characterization is needed.
Language: 7/10
Your language skills are fine, but I suggest that you revise your work. There were quite a few errors in every chapter. And don't be afraid to get other people to check over your writing. Although you might catch some mistakes, it's still good to have another pair of eyes look over it to make sure. EXAMPLES:
Big Bang fan meet, Jasmil stadium 7/25/08 11:00 P.M. to 3:00 P.M. I don't understand the italic areas. Is the times from the daybefor the 25th to the 25th. or just a mistake?
"Hello!!---here you go thanks for being a fan!!" Daesung said with a smile that ran from Korea to Texas.
For this you should put a comma in there, like this- "Hello!! Here you go, thanks for being a fan!!" ..
Or a period would work just as fine, if you don't like the comma.
Flow: 4/10
The flow is a bit too fast for the story. It seems just over night they became an item. There was no time to get to know the character's individual baggage. If the pace was slowed down a bit, you could ad more drama and excitement that would keep the reader's total attention.
Writing Style: 7/10
You're writing style is a bit confusing. You skip from one part to another part without throughly explaining the previous one.
It seems as though you type and post when it just comes to you and run out of ideas. It would be more idealistic to go to wordpad or something and write it there first, where you can edit it and then post it up. Again, I suggest you read over your work before posting it up.
Overall enjoyment: 5/10
I didn't really enjoy this piece, but it doesn't mean that I don't like it. I will, of course, continue reading it, but I would like you to upgrade your potential.
Bonus: 0/3
I can't really give you a bonus. Reason being that there is no interaction with the readers and you on the comments area.
Total: 61/100
I believe you have a lot of potential to become a great writter, but you must re-read and edit! When you have mastered those skills, then you've gone the distance
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I have to get all my mistakes down pat so i edited the first two and i'll edit all the others till i get it right.