Fan Fiction |
by YukLing
“Hello?”
“Hey Ray, it’s me. Ron. Are you busy?”
“Hi Ron, how’s it going? Actually, I was just about to go visit Rain in the hospital.”
”Oh yeah, I read the news this morning. Rain is awake now? How is she doing?” Ron asked.
“She’s recovering slowly, but the doctor said all she needs now is to get more rest and food and she should be back to normal.”
”That’s good news. So….so how are things between you and Qian?”
“I haven’t seen her for over a month now.” I replied.
“Oh. So I guess the news was right, about you two splitting up? Aw, I’m sorry man.”
“No, we’re not split up…we…we just are having some time apart.”
”Is it because of Rain?”
”Yes and No. It’s kinda complicated, Ron. Not sure how to explain it to you.”
”I see. But you miss her though, right? Don’t lie to me. I can sense it in your voice.”
”Hehehe..Ron. You know me too well. Yeah, I miss her. As you know, Rain was still unconscious at that time, so I guess Qian just wanted to give me some space.”
“Well since Rain is awake now, aren’t you planning to call Qian back?”
”Rain is awake now, but she seems not to remember anything that happened that day the accident happened. And I …just not sure how to ask her without pushing her.”
“What did happen that day? You never told me. Bosco asked me if I knew anything about it. But I told him I didn’t.”
So I told Ron everything that happened that day and how it had changed my life completely since then.
“Do you think that Rain really does not remember? Or do you think she’s in denial again?” asked Ron.
“I really don’t know. On one hand I want her to remember, but on the other hand I do not want to cause her anymore pain or trauma.”
”Well, you’re gonna have to tell her someday. Ray, you can’t lie to her and you can’t definitely force yourself to be with someone you no longer love. I know it’s easier said then done. But give it a try. I hate to see you like this.”
”Like what? “ I asked.
“You’ve been like a zombie. Everyone I met at work says so.”
“Geez thanks man. I hardly think I’m in that bad shape.”
“Hehe…well you know what I mean. Anyways, I gotta get back on set. I’ll talk to you later. And tell Rain I said ‘Hi’.”
”Yeah, OK. Thanks man.”
“Ok, bye bye.”
When I arrived at the hospital, Rain was already up, but she was just starring at the outside window.
“Rain, you’re awake. Here, let me get you some congee soup.” I said as I walked into her room. I handed the cup of soup to her but she wasn’t even listening to what I was saying. She only remained focus starring at the outside window.
“Rain? Are you not feeling well?” I asked.
Slowly she removed her gaze from the outside window and turned to look at me. I could see the tears starting to flow from her eyes.
“Rain? What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you crying? Are you in pain again?” I asked. But she didn’t answer, so I stood up and was about to go get the doctor when she grabbed my hand and shook her head.
“No, don’t call the doctor. There’s nothing wrong with me.”
”Then what is it?”
“I had a bad dream. I dreamt that you told me you didn’t love me anymore. Is that true, Ray?”
“No” I told her. I wasn’t lying. Of course, in my heart, Rain would always have a special place and I’d always care for her. “It’s just a silly dream. It’s not real, Rain.”
It was as if she didn’t hear what I was saying as she continued and said “Then I saw you and a girl. Qian. I saw you two hugging and crying in each other’s arms. I heard you calling her name. At first I thought you were talking to me, but then you called her name again and said ‘please wake up. Don’t leave me. Qian, I know you can hear me.’”
Rain turned to look at me again and said, “That wasn’t a dream, was it Ray? That was real wasn’t it?”
I didn’t know how to answer her. I wanted her to remember, but I didn’t want her to remember that part because I know that she would be hurt if she ever found out that I had initially mistaken her for Qian. My eyes must have betrayed me, for Rain could see what I was trying to hide.
“It was real…. I remember now. That day, after you kissed me. I was so sad and upset then I ran outside and wasn’t watching where I was running. And that’s when the car hit me.”
“I’m so sorry, Rain. It wasn’t supposed to be that way. You asked me to kiss you. To see if I still have feelings for you. But I couldn’t lie to myself and I couldn’t lie to you. I would have never meant for you to get into an accident, Rain. I feel horrible about it.”
“But you were glad it was me who was lying in there instead of her, right Ray? ” Rain asked.
“Rain, let’s not talk about this now. You’ve just recovered. Don’t cause too much stress. Please…” I pleaded.
“No!! I want to talk about it now! You were glad it was me instead of her! Right? Answer me!” Rain exclaimed in anger.
“No! I would never wish any harm to be done to you, Rain. Naturally, I would never want anything happen to Qian as well. Just because I thought it was Qian who was in an accident, doesn’t imply that I wished it was you. You’re being ridiculous! ” I replied angrily and stood up and walked to stand by the window.
“I wish I didn’t wake up so I didn’t have to remember all this. I wish I could have just lay there forever. At least I know you’d always be by my side. But now that I’m awake, you’re gonna go back to her – aren’t you?”
I turned around, looked at Rain with sympathy and said “Rain, don’t be thinking ridiculous things. There are so many people who love and care for you. Don’t speak such foolish things. You should be glad that you were given a second chance to live.”
”But would you? Would you be giving us a second chance?”
Rain has put me in a very difficult situation. I want to tell her that it cannot happen, but how could I say it without causing her pain? I don’t want to be responsible if anything else happens to her too. When I look at her now, all I could feel is sympathy.
Seeing that I had not replied to her, Rain said “You really love her, don’t you?”
I quietly replied, “Yes.” I knew Rain was very hurt by my reply. But I really did not want to mislead her any longer.
“Isn’t there anything between us that is worth for you to remember? How could you forget so easily?” Rain cried.
“Rain, there are just things you cannot turn back the way they were.”
I could see the resentment and hatred in her eyes as she said, “You know, I hate her. I hate her because she stole your heart. I hate her because she has everything I never had. I hate her because you gave her all your love when it should have been mine.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Rain.” I replied with a sorrowfulness voice.
“Tell me, if it wasn’t for Qian. Would you have given us a second chance?”
I thought to myself quietly for a few minutes before replying to Rain’s question.
“No. If it wasn’t for Qian, I’d never be the person I am today. I’d still be the same person you met. The same jerk who would give up his love for career and fame due to family pressure. I’d still be the same person who always worries about what other people thought about me or how I’d look in the eyes of the media. Rain, do you understand what I’m saying? I am the person I am today because of Qian.”
“I understand now.” Rain replied quietly. There was no more anger or antipathy in her voice, it was replaced with hopelessness instead. Then Rain slowly lowered herself back onto the bed and turned her face away from me. “You don’t need to come here anymore, Ray.”
“Rain…”
”No, don’t speak anymore. You’ve said and done enough already. I don’t want anymore of your sympathy or pity.” Rain replied as she was still lying on the bed facing the other side of the room. “Please just leave.”
“I’m sorry, Rain.” I said apologetic. Then I stood up and walked towards the door. Before exiting her room I turned around and said “I truly hope you’ll find a better person than me. I know you will…..Good-bye, Rain.”
Then I exited her room. That was the last time I saw Rain in the hospital.