| Fan Fiction |
by Ifah_chan
As usual, I woke up in the morning and be ready to get to the university. I ate my breakfast and immediately left to the university. I had made it earlier as to meet Tomo-kun before anybody else. It had been two days I didn't get to meet him well and talk. He did come to our class as an assistant but he didn't looked or smiled at me. He did his own thing and totally ignored me. And that was why I was ready here to face him and have a good talk with him. But as soon as I reached the class, I didn't see him... Quickly, I walked in and sat at my seat. I sighed. I had waited for him for quite some time but he didn't even come... After the class had ended, I went to Funaki sensei.
"Funaki-sensei.... Can I ask you something?" I asked.
He, who was tidied up his desk, looked up at me. "Ahh... Horikita-san... Yes, what do you want to ask?"
"Well, I don't see Yamashita-kun today... I have to pass him something about the report." I lied.
He looked at me innocently. "Well, Horikita-san... Yamashita-kun's attachment here is finish. So, he'll no longer my assistant. He had returned back..." He smiled. My eyes widened. "Even though it such a waste to let go for an assistant like that... He's the good one, a really good helper to me..." He sighed and rested his back on the chair.
"A-Arigato... I'll make my move now...." I bowed and left the room. Tomo-kun left without telling me about leaving. Why was he so cruel to me? I knew I made him mad, and I knew I made him hurt but it was for the best. I didn't want to hurt Ohno-senpai any further. Even though he didn't know anything, but still he didn't deserve to be hurt like this. He was so nice to me... And I had come to love him. Tomo-kun was past and the past that I wanted to put behind. But, I didn't want to end everything with him. I still wanted to be his friend. Like we were used to be...
I tried to call him but still he didn't answer my calls. It had been a week, I didn't get through him. I even asked Toma-kun, but he didn't say anything about it. For some reason, I felt kind of missed him... I wanted to meet him and even talked to him. But he kept his absence away from me. He really didn't want to see me at all...
I was sitting on the couch while watching television. But I kept changing channels. Aya, who sat near me got irritated and snatched the control from me. She then sat beside me and smiled at me. "What's wrong, girl?" she asked.
I shook my head. "Nothing..."
"You seemed to be quiet these days. Not just that, you keep sighing on nothing... Why?” Aya asked curiously.
And again, I shook. “Nothing...” I smiled. I put up my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on my knee. Then, I turned to her. “It’s really nothing... I’m just tired with all these assignments. It comes one by one, non stop...”
“It’s Tomo-kun, isn’t it?” She suddenly asked. I was startled. I tried to deny but she knew me better. “If you’re looking for him, why don’t you go to his house and meet him?” Aya suggested.
I shook hard and smiled. “I can’t... If I do that, I will... comfort him again.” I sighed. “I don’t want something like that to happen. Right now, I’m with Ohno-senpai. I can’t go and betray him...”
“Why would you think something like that? I didn't ask you to comfort Tomo-kun but if you've got something to say to him, just say it. Don't be like this... About Ohno-senpai, I bet he wouldn't think that way about you. I mean, he's the person who honestly don't judge people like that easily..." Aya convinced me.
"You mean, I can go and meet him?" I asked her.
She sighed. "You can, silly! If you've got something to ask him about the matters you're thinking right now, you can just go and ask him. I would not stopping you for that." Aya patted my head. She smiled.
I pouted sadly. "Yeah, maybe I should meet him... I should have to..." I sighed.
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I didn't gave up on Toma-kun. Every day, I called and prompted him so many times that he had finally agreed with me. During my lunch break, I met him somewhere. He had to agree with me as he was irritated. I waited for him at the park nearby. And then, he suddenly surprised me and sat beside me.
He sighed while loosing his legs and body on the bench. He crossed his arms. "So, what do you want from me?" he asked.
I pouted. "I think you're already know what I'm looking for..." I crossed my arms.
And again, he sighed. "He doesn't want to see you..." He said simply. Then, I turned to him irritatingly. He turned to me sadly. "He said that to me...."
My expression changed. "I know... But I still want to see him and talk to him." I said sadly.
"You see, Maki... Tomo is my friend and you're also my friend. It isn't like I wouldn't allow you to meet him but.... I just don't want him to get hurt even more. And you know what, I think it was his big mistake to have meeting you again." He turned to me. I was slightly surprised when he said that. Then, I pressed my lips. "I'm sorry to say that to you but, I didn't blame you either. It wasn't your fault. It was coincidence, wasn't it? I had told him before... but he won't listen. He was hoping too much from you. But, even that, Tomo is still my best friend. I'm not gonna tolerate if you're meant to hurt him."
"Toma-kun, I don't want to hurt him. I just want to make clear things to him, can I ever do that?" I asked him.
He then sighed. He then slid his hand inside his pocket and handed me a piece of paper. "This address... His new part time job. Take it."
Slowly, I took the paper and looked up at him. "Thank you, Toma-kun...." I smiled bitterly.
"Yeah..." He then stood up and walked away. And suddenly, he turned ro me. "By the way, he finishes at 7 so you can meet him around that time. And... talk to him well."
Later that night, I went to his work place. I went there early becoz I didn't want to run away from me. So, I stood in front of the door and waited for him. I couldn't wait to meet him again. It had been quite some times, I didn't get to meet him. And then, suddenly, he popped up in front of me. He was startled and then he quickly walked towards me.
"What are you doing here?" He asked anxiously.
"I need to talk to you...." I said timidly. Before he could say anything, suddenly, one of his colleague tabbed his shoulder from behind.
"Wow! Is that your girl, Yamashita-kun?" He snorted.
Tomo-kun shoved off his hand and turned to him. "No! She's not! So, go now..." He pushed him aside. And then, he immediately grabbed my arm and dragged me along with him.
"Oi, Yamashita!!! Oi!!!" He laughed. "There's no need to be shy about this..."
Tomo-kun didn't even turned and totally ignored him. He straightly walked along the street and dragged me, until he stopped at this road. "What did you come here for?" He asked.
"I told you before, I need to talk to you...." I bit my lips.
He sighed heavily. "But you don't have to come here.... And how did you--" He cut his sentence. He rubbed his forehead.
"Toma... Toma told you about it, isn't he?" He asked me. I didn't answer him, instead I stayed quiet and playing with my fingers. Then, after a while, he asked me again. "How are you, Maki?"
I was slightly startled. And I nodded. "I'm fine..." I said simply. I pressed my lips and looked away. For the first time, I had ever met him since then. I felt awkward. "Tomo-kun... I..."
"It has been a quite a while since the last time I saw you, isn't it?" He suddenly cut my words. I looked up at him. He was smiling, then he turned to me. "I know why you come here to see me though... There's a time that I keep thinking about this alot. It's unbearable, isn't it?" He then faced me and suddenly bowed down. I was surprised. "I'm sorry... I'm really sorry." He apologized. He then looked up at me. He walked towards the bench and sat on it. I just followed him. "You know, since I had knowing you, I had never felt regret. You're the person who understands and treasured friend alot. And I just destroyed it. For some reason, I felt that I was unfair that I had blamed you only for this. Toma said that it was a big mistake for me meeting you again. And said that I was hoping too much from you." He snorted. "That guy.... really cruel. When he said those things, he didn't ever consider my feelings at all. But, I think what he said is true. I was hoping too much from you, knowing you are actually have moved on. But, meeting you again... I don't think it was a mistake. It was fate... at least that was what I think. To be able falling in love with you again, to be able get close with you again and to be able walking with you again... has giving me a slightly happiness feeling." He sighed and smiled again.
I bit my lips and slowly smiled bitterly. "Tomo-kun...."
"But... Actually, after all this, I had my evil intention too." He snorted again. I was startled. "I had once thought of stealing you from Ohno-chan. I had always thought about that." He laughed. I was actually quite surprised when he said that. Even though he laughed, his eyes looked sad. I just knew that... He stopped laughing and sighed. "Well, I would have never do that to him... He isn't a good rival. He had always giving up in the end... Besides, I don't want to betray him or hurt him. He was too nice and good person." He then suddenly stood up and walked towards me. He placed his both hands on my shoulder and faced me on the same level as my head.
"Be happy.... I'm sorry for giving you all the troubles.
Don't worry, no hard feelings..." He smiled and winked at me. "And don't worry, you and I will always be friends...forever..." He smiled. "And for sure, I will only love you as a friend..."
I couldn't say anything. He had said everything. I had no chance to talk. He hadn't heard what I was going to say to him. On that night, after we had a 'talk', he just sent me home and walked away and had never turned back to me. That wasn't what I wanted to talk about with him. I wanted to make things clear but he had left me entangled with my words. For a sudden, I was surprised and still trembled. He was actually made things too clear. I was trying to say something else, but he turned it off me.
After that, we had our normal talk, conversation and hang outs. We acted as if we were really a good friend. Honestly, I was awkward. I couldn't possibly acted like that but, I was simply had to. If not, I would rather feel guilty about it. I was the one who wanted to be like this, so I couldn't complain about it. I had moved on, so that was the thing I had to do. But then, I felt I was truthful to myself. I was forcing myself into this. And again, he made me felt this kind of feelings. I wasn't be able to be myself. Every time I looked at Ohno-senpai or Tomo-kun, I would always compare them.
When this thing happened, I finally realized that I wasn't actually really loved Ohno-senpai.... My feelings for him were just a 'just love' and I had accepted him becoz I wanted to forget Tomo-kun. Now I felt that I was the worst person ever... I had made myself into a despicable person. What should I do? And how can I change it all back? Tomo-kun had thought that I was forgettiing him. I knew I shouldn't have thought of this, but I couldn't just lying to myself. And to make things worst, how could I tell Ohno-senpai that I had to... had to leave him instead.
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