| Fan Fiction |
by alison13
Background/Poster: 6/10
It was cute with Taylor Swift and then a heart in the middle as the poster. But I didn't see where Joe Jonas was, I was a bit dissappointed. >.
Forewords:10/10
I definitely liked it! I was falling in love with the first line "I SAW HIS FACE AGAIN" It just spoke to me. It makes me think about a girl having a crush but can't take it. And I liked how you put in a prologue to show who the main characters are and what their situation was. I liked... no, loved it!
Plot: 13/15
Well everything I said before explains that. I like it. It's new, different, and creative. Keep up your good work!
Creativity/Originality: 14/15
I don't read a lot of these kind of stories or books but I know I've read them on the back of books, but it's usually rare. I think it's always a great idea to make two people meet unexpectedly and then they start falling in love. It was new though, with the music and the relationship with everybody and how it turns around.
Speed/Flow: 7/10
It was a bit too fast. The two don't even know each other that well and don't seem to have much experience wtih one another other than the coffee spilling and the first meeting wtih Chelsea. It would have been better to put them in different situations that bring them together, she's already meeting the whole family of the Unknown band.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
I suggest that when you are talking about a person and explaining them, instead of dashes you use parenthesis so you don't confuse the reader. And you missed a couple of letters for double-lettered words like "off" but it's fine and the capitalization, I didn't take off points, I know that I do that a lot too, so I just wanted to point it out though.
Characterisation: 7/10
It's good to see more of the characteristics on people. When you explain they have golden locks you should use it like "as her golden locks waved" or "her hair flowed gently". Mention on their characters a few times, it'll get the reader's attention to remember. And I suggest using some words such as: said, shouted, cried, murmured. It was a bit bland when they talked.
Writing Style: 9/10
I understand that you had numbers for different parts of the scene. It was a quite a good idea. I know everybody has a different writing style, whether it looks like a screen play, essay, or a novel so I really liked your originiality.
Overall enjoyment: 5/5
It was really cute from time to time and really funny, well at least I think so. It's different and a novel, it wasn't hard to understand and not too easy to be for little babies, so i thought it was just right. >.<
Sub Total: 84/100
Bonus: 5/5
To be honest, I'm not a Jonas or Taylor Swift fan, but you made me start to like them in this, so thanks!
Total: 89~
I hope it's not dissappointing, I really can't give bad grades but I'm not saying that I went easy on you either. I hope that you found this in a good way and think over what I said. I'm not a professional but I still try to give advice. I hope you enjoyed writing it as much as I enjoyed reading it. I look forward for more stories!
===========================
thanks to hae-gi33 for making this review.. :)