| Fan Fiction |
by Autumndreamer
My whole head was blink for the next few hours, and I only stood there to hear Appa and Umma yelling, screaming, and sometimes nicely talking with Yunho. I just stared at Appa and Umma’s faces, and I suddenly felt that they looked so much stranger now. Only a few weeks, I felt that I already became an outside member trying to fit in.
“No matter what! Jaejoong is going to stay with me if I get married. I already give in this much, why don’t you two give in? Plus, Ji Hyun will not marry me if you two don’t agree with this condition.” Yunho said.
I looked over and he has been holding tightly onto my hand the whole time as if he was afraid of losing me. I remembered Yunho telling me to stay calm and he will never give up on me. I kept on telling him that I am okay with everything, and I will be happy for whatever his decision is. Also I emphasized that I trust Ji Hyun Noona, and we will be fine.
Appa sighed deeply and then looked over at Umma who has been crying silently, I know Umma has missed us a lot, and she was very happy for our come back. She just wanted to settle everything, because she really doesn’t want us to run away again.
“Okay! I agree! But you have to treat Ji Hyun nicely, she is a nice girl!” Appa said and put his hand on the table.
Yunho dragged me closer: “As long as Jaejoong is with me, I will agree to condition.”
“One more thing!” Appa said, “Jaejoong has to stay home on your wedding night, and the next day, I will send him over.”
Yunho wanted to stay something, but I pulled Yunho’s hand: “I agree! Ji Hyun Noona and Yunho should spend their wedding night together along, after all, it is their special night.”
I looked down and Yunho hugged onto me, but Appa suddenly yelled: “Yunho! You are getting married soon! Let go of Jaejoong!”
Umma cries and holds onto Appa: “Calm down! Don’t yell at them! They just came back and look at Yunho, he is still hurt. Jaejoong got skinnier too. Don’t yell at them the whole time, Yunho already agreed to get married, then just let them go take a rest and let’s get the wedding plan ready.”
Appa sighed hard: “Get out then! Don’t let me see you two getting all sticky together again!”
Yunho glared at Appa, but Umma pulled us out from the office. Outside of the office, Umma suddenly hugged onto Yunho and me.
Umma: “Let Umma look at you two!”
Umma touches my face and then Yunho’s, then she asked: “Yunho! Are you still hurt? Let me go call a doctor in and check on your head.”
She turned over to me: “Jaejoong, you look so pile and skinny. Umma will ask the kitchen to cook your favorite food.”
“Umma..” I cried and hugged onto Umma.
“Why did you two run away? Your Appa is harsh at times, but just talk with him then things will get better. Promise Umma, don’t run away again. Umma was so worried, and when I heard that Yunho got hurt and went to the hospital, Umma cried all night long. Yunho ah.. don’t take Jae with you and run away again.. we already agreed for Jae to stay with you and Ji Hyun, just have a normal life, and Jae will have a normal life too.” Umma said and touching both of our hands.
I suddenly felt so guilty toward Appa, Umma and Ji Hyun. I know Yunho will love me, but we all lied to everyone else. How can this be? How did this day come to us without warning?
The next few days, Umma always bring me good food and she kept on telling me to eat and get healthier. Yunho stayed in the room next to mine, but I go into his room at night when our parents are asleep.
They already planned Yunho’s wedding in one more week, and Yunho’s wound healed very fast. There is no scar left, and I always happen to touch Yunho’s head, because I can never forget the Yunho bleeding in my arms. When I close my eyes, that day’s horror always comes back. I don’t know when did I become like this, Yunho didn’t change, our parents didn’t change, our love didn’t change, but.. I changed..
I no longer smiled like before, and I felt guilty toward the whole world. I felt hurt toward Yunho. I felt sad toward Ji Hyun. I don’t know what I am feeling, but there is this deep hole in my heart. I know Yunho is not leaving me, but I have feeling I am going to disappear in front of Yunho soon.. very soon..
Ji Hyun Noona comes to visit every day, but she always stay in Yunho’s room and tell Yunho to go over to my room instead.
Our parents always tell Ji Hyun to stay for dinner, and sometimes she stays, but she would keep on giving me food, and avoiding any contact with Yunho. I know she doesn’t want me to misunderstand.
Once she pulled me to a corner and said, “Jae! You have to trust me! I won’t do anything with Yunho on our wedding night, don’t worry, and just sleep well. I am going to sleep in the bedroom, and Yunho is going to sleep in the guest room. When you move over, I will move into the guest room. I am by myself, so I don’t need a big room. You and Yunho can stay in the bedroom.”
“Noona.. but.. how can you do all these for us? We will feel guilty.” I replied.
She touches my hair: “But if you ask me to separate you two with my own hands, I would rather hurt myself. I know there is no way for Yunho to accept me when he is deeply in love with you, so I would rather see him happy with you than getting so update everyday but stay with me.”
“Thank you Ji Hyun.” Yunho’s voice called from the back.
I looked over and Yunho is staring at Ji Hyun right now, he has never stared at anyone other than me like that. Right now.. Yunho can only see Ji Hyun in his eyes.. but I trust Yunho, he must feel sorry for Ji Hyun just like me.
Ji Hyun slowly looked away: “I am done borrowing Jaejoong, I should go home now. Umma wants me to try out the wedding dresses today.”
Yunho: “Ji Hyun! Do you.. think I should go with you?”
“What?” Ji Hyun asked.
“At least, we should act like we are getting married in front of your parents and my parents.” Yunho said and looked down.
Ji Hyun thinks for a second: “yea sure, you can come. Jaejoong, you should come along too. I will tell my parents I need Jaejoong’s opinion in my wedding dress too. After all, Jaejoong has good fashion sense.”
I shake my head: “No.. I..”
Yunho grabbed onto my hand: “Jae, come along!”
Ji Hyun nodded, and then I was being dragged into the car. I suddenly felt, I am the extra one now. Trying dresses, picking ring, making wedding plan, honeymoon plan, picking out furniture, laying out the house plan.. everything.. anything.. nothing has anything to do with me..
I only sat aside and wait till Yunho turn back to give me a look or smile or only a stare. I looked at Ji Hyun dressing up like a Barbie in front of Yunho, how can any man not fall in love with this beauty? I know Yunho thinks Ji Hyun is beautiful too, and there is nothing I can stop his heart.
I don’t know what is going on, but my heart is starting to fly lighter and lighter inside of my chest, and every time when Yunho kisses me hugs me, I begin to feel the untruthfulness in each hug and each kiss..
Finally the wedding day came..
I stared at Yunho and Ji Hyun exchanging rings and vows. Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin stood beside me. They are the only ones at the wedding who knows everything. Junsu held onto my hand and Yoochun kept on patting on my shoulder, but they don’t know, in my heart I am extra calm. As if nothing of this has anything to do with me anymore.
After we all got out from the church, I stared at Yunho in wedding tuxedo. He looked so handsome, just then, he turned to my direction, but this time I turned my head away not giving him the stare I used to give him.
I don’t know, but something is unsure in my heart, my relationship with Yunho.. starting from this moment is not going to be the same anything.. we can’t go back anymore..
End of pov..
Yunho’s pov..
This day, I got married to Ji Hyun, and the wedding couldn’t be stopped in anyway. We all know that. I know this wedding is going to hurt Ji Hyun, Jaejoong and myself. But the only thing I can do is to tell myself that I love Jaejoong, and I will never let go of Jaejoong. For Jae, I can do anything as long as he stays with me.
During the whole wedding, I paid no attention to anyone or anything but Jaejoong. I kept on look over at Jae, but each other I found him just staring at the ground or the corner or he is just looking at nowhere.
Ji Hyun and I walked out from the wedding, while Ji Hyun were throwing the banquet, I looked over at Jae again, but this time I saw him looking at me though as soon as I looked over he turned his head away.
Since when did I start to lose his stare in the crowd? Before, no matter where we are, I can always find Jae looking at me when I turn over to him. Ever since when did our hearts become so far apart?
I already found Jae talking less and less, even though, I tried my best to calm him down. But he would always tell me that he is fine and there is nothing wrong with him. I can tell, the smile on his face is fading, and his body is getting skinner and skinner.
When do I have a feeling that Jae is fading away in my life little by little? No matter how tight I hold onto him, I felt that he is going to fly away anytime.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
COMMENTS PLEASE!