Fan Fiction |
by Ling
Looking intently at her, he saw that she was busy wiping her face, as though she is crying. Looking at the awkward way her body was running, and her stricken face, he knew that something terrible had upset her. The last time he had seen her this way, was about 2 years ago, when she had gone through the depression. Concerned, he went out of his room immediately.
Xiao You ran into the mansion, wanting to seek the solace in her private space. She didn’t want anyone to see her in that state. It’s been a long time since she has last broke down. All because of Ximen, again! She gritted her teeth in frustration. Why can’t her feelings simply fade with time? Why had it grown stronger instead of weaker? Why, why, of all people, must she choose to fall in love with him?
She was wiping the tears off her face when she saw Yeye walking towards her, concern etched over his face. Sighing, she walked up to him and sought solace in his arms, as she had always done in the past. Yeye just patted her hair in assurance. He looked up in time to see Zeya walking down the stairs. Not wanting Zeya to disrupt her for the moment, he signalled to his grandson to stay away from her for a while.
Xiao You disengaged herself from Yeye after a few moments. Smiling at Yeye to reassure him that she was back to her normal self, she headed up to her room to find her own comfort. Yeye shook his head and sighed as he stared at her walking listlessly up the stairs. “Silly girl!” He thought gruffly. “She’s always trying to put up a brave front in front of everyone. I’m her Yeye. How can she hide that fact from me?”
Opening her room door, Xiao You dragged her feet across the room to her private corner. “What does he exactly want from me?” Xiao You thought wearily as she sank into the soft bedding. She has done all she could for him. When she offered Ximen her heart, he didn’t want it. When she had offered friendship; he had taken gladly, only to toss it back at her again. And today, he had the audacity to kiss her! But, worst of all, she had enjoyed the kiss! She didn’t mean to react at all, but something in her body had prompted her to indulge in the action together with him. Sighing, she stared out of the window. Where is their relationship going to go from now? Would this be the end? Is there no way where their friendship is able to be salvaged? Did he want that? And more importantly, does she want that?
Zeya opened his sister’s room door quietly and found her at her private space, staring stonily out of the window. Sitting gently by her side, he waited for her to register his presence.
Xiao You turned when she felt someone sitting beside her. Turning, she smiled at her brother. “Ge. You were looking for me?” She asked, trying her best to be her normal self.
Zeya stared at her for a while, figuring out that she did not see him standing at the window when she was running into the house. “Are you alright?” he asked softly.
Xiao You turned to look into Zeya’s eyes, and widened in surprise when she saw concern in them. She sighed inwardly. She hadn’t meant to let anyone know about today, but, it seems as though it’s not going to be her day.
“I saw you driving in and everything else after that.” Zeya explained when he saw the surprise flaring in her eyes. “Care to tell me about it?”
At her brother’s concern, Xiao You couldn’t help herself. She had told herself to be strong. But, she should know better by now. In front of him, she had never once managed to appear strong. Images of their kiss flashed in her mind once again, the hurt and confusion that she had felt earlier all rushed back to her. The lines of her lips fell into a grim straight line. She battled against herself to tear again.
“If you want to cry, go ahead and cry loudly Xiao You. You should know better than anyone the consequences of keeping things to yourself.” Zeya said gently. “No one except me will be here to see you.”
“But the others might be able to hear.” She sniffed, talking to her brother at the same time.
“No they won’t. How loud can you get? Or have you forgot that I heard your loudest?” He teased, trying to ease the tension that his little sister is feeling inside right now.
Her only answer was to swat him with her hands.
After a while, she turned to her brother and leaned against his chest. Zeya cradled her against him, knowing that she was still battling her tears silently.
It was after a few minutes that he began to feel his shirt getting wet from Xiao You’s tears. Knowing that she had finally given up on battling against her tears, he held her tightly, silently giving her the moral support that she needed at the moment.
“I’m sorry Ge.” She whispered. “I didn’t mean to get you worried again.” She continued, still sobbing silently.
They stayed in that position for a while before Xiao You managed to compose herself.
Looking down at her face, Zeya smiled gently at her. “Are you ready to tell me what had got you so upset?” he asked.
“I’m confused.” She whispered. After a moment of hesitation, she added. “Over Ximen.”
“Ximen?” Zeya asked gently.
“He kissed me just now. I’m very tired Ge. I simply don’t understand what it is that he wants from me.” she explained softly.
“What happened between the two of you last time?” he enquired.
Xiao you bit her lower lips and thought about how to answer her brother. Finally, taking a deep breath, she related out everything that had happened from the time he had found her at the roadside, all the way to the fateful trip when she had returned to Taiwan only to realise that his heart was never meant to be hers.
Zeya listened intently. He frowned when Xiao You narrated her story behind her and Ximen. As much as he had suspected, he had never expected her to be so strong-willed. Despite her persistence, he mentally noted that Ximen had already hurt her twice. Grimacing inwardly, he can’t help but wonder what Ximen’s feelings towards Xiao You were. Hadn’t he himself seen the way Ximen behaved towards his little sister? Or could it have been just part of his imaginations? He focused his attention back to Xiao You when he felt her stare at him.
“I don’t know what he wants now. When we were working on the project, we were getting along fine. I had assumed that we had found friendship in one another given the behaviour in us. But once the project was done, he didn’t even try to contact me as a friend. I was already confused at that time, not knowing what I am to him in his life, and then came the surprise visit which I never knew why he left even without seeing me. Things began to change after that. I had wanted to clarify things with him today. He told me that we were friends. But he isn’t sure anymore.” She said in a confused tone.
“Were?” Zeya asked, unsure of what he was hearing. Was there such a thing as “were” in friendships? The only time where friendship becomes history is when something had happened to change the nature of the relationship between the two parties.
“That’s my point. I don’t even know what happened that made him changed the ‘are’ into a ‘were’.” Xiao You said, knowing what her brother was thinking in his mind. “Now, I don’t even know what he wants from me. Friends don’t lay their lips on other friends for no reasons right?” She asked absently.
Zeya inwardly struggled for an answer to her question. He didn’t know whether he should be angry with Ximen or to try and put himself in his position. After all, Xiao You is right. Which friends would lay their lips on other friends for no reason? But, as much as he knew that it was wrong, he also knew that there was another side of Ximen which he had not shown people at all. But still, there must be a reason for him to kiss her. Zeya knew that no matter what rumours that Ximen had his name linked to, he was not that stupid to destroy a friendship. There might still be some other reasons to that particular action. But then again, he too, didn’t know the man well enough to form any judgements against him - yet.
Xiao You looked at her brother with questioning eyes. She needed some advices at the moment. She knew she couldn’t approach San Chai, because her best friend is so very unpredictable at times. If she ever knew that Ximen had kissed her, she didn’t know what her reaction towards him might be. The only person left to approach is her brother. “After all, he’s a male. He should roughly know the male’s way of thinking!” Xiao You assured herself thoughtfully. If anything, her brother was one the calmest person she knew. Nothing untoward would happen to Ximen.
“Xiao You, I don’t know him well enough to form any judgements on him yet.” Zeya told her truthfully. “But, what I can tell you is that that guy is more than what he just shows people outside.”
“I know.” She whispered, feeling the same familiar feeling clenching around her heart again.
“It’s good that you know. Between both of us, you know him better. So, my only advice to you is that you’ll have to see what he does next. If you’re uncomfortable around him, then forget about seeing him temporarily. I know avoiding him might not necessarily solve the problem, but taking personal time out away from him to sort out your thoughts might do you good in the long run.” He said finally.
Xiao You pondered on what her brother had just said. Did she really want to wait and see if Ximen would hurt her another time? Would she dare to take the chance again? When her brother had said that piece of advice, she did not form any immediate rejections or arguments. She frowned. Is it really her desire to have Ximen in her life, no matter what his status is?
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Ximen closed the door of his room forcefully. He didn’t even know what he was doing at the moment. Of all people, he, Ximen, had actually lost his control in front of Xiao You. He didn’t even intend to spoil their friendship. Without even thinking it through, he knew that by his actions tonight, he had inadvertently done that. He sighed aloud. Weren’t things just getting along fine? Since when did life suddenly become so complicated?
Not wanting to brood about things anymore, he decided to wash himself up. He didn’t want to dwell on things that had already happened. He had never done that, he wouldn’t start now. Walking over to his wardrobe to grab his things, he headed towards the bathroom.
But, as much as he wanted to get the ‘incident’ out of his mind, he found that he was in a constant state of discomfort just by thinking about the kiss that they had shared. Much to his dismay, he didn’t even feel any form of regret by his actions tonight. He had known he wanted her. The problem was – he didn’t know how much until tonight.
He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He’s supposed to be a professional when it comes to these kinds of stuffs. But with her, he had lost his control. When his lips touched hers, every conscious thought in his mind had been blown away. Such was the fervour that she had brought upon him. He had almost lost control of himself, and was ready to take her in her car there and then! He tried to recall the last time he had a woman. Sighing, he realised that it’s been months. That must be where the problem lies. “It must be due to my lack social life! I’ll go VS tonight.” His lips curved at that thought. Looking at the clock, he realised that it was already running late. Hurriedly, he freshened up and left the mansion.
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“Jane,” Ximen said sweetly. “It’s been nice talking to you but I fear that I have something on later, so just pass me your phone number and I’ll contact you again?”
Jane looked at Ximen with a besotted smile. She was one of the many females who had came up and chatted with him for the 2 whole hours that Ximen had been sitting there idly.
Ximen looked at Jane who was standing up to leave his table. Sighing, he slumped back against the sofa and stared into his glass of wine. It’s been 2 hours since he had sat in the corner. He had not even made any moved on any females that he had seen walking pass. And, to top it off, he had actually rejected the girls that took the initiative to chat with him! He frowned. “What the hell is wrong with me?” he muttered irritably. Instead of focusing on other females, the only female that had filled his mind was Xiao You! Absently, he clenched the stem of his wine glass tightly, sighed and thought miserably. “No other females had ever affected me this way before.”
He unlocked his fingers around the wine glass and left the glass on the table. He knew that it wouldn’t help if he was going to just spend his time blindly in that one corner of VS. He turned his thoughts towards the problem on hand. He didn’t know what he wanted from Xiao You. In fact, he never did. She was really like no other females that he had ever met. No other females had ever evoked any other emotions except lust in him. With her, his emotions are always running in riots. He would never know how to control them.
He knew that he wanted her in a way where a man would want a woman. That much was certain, but if only that had been the case. The other side of him wanted to protect her and wished to perdition that she’ll be by his side for the rest of his life. But, how is he going to fulfil that part of his innermost desires? How can he fulfil all these, without risking his heart? “Why did I get myself in this trouble?” Ximen groaned. He had known since she returned from Canada that she was a dangerous woman, the type of female that he knew he should avoid. But, as much as he wanted to avoid her, he just couldn’t help himself from growing closer to her.
In that case, just what is a gentleman supposed to do?
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Hey guys.. here's another chapter! Thanks for reading and hope you'll like it. Keep the comments coming! =)