| Fan Fiction |
by biniBningPunkista
The room was a mess. It was a huge room but there wasn’t much furniture inside. At the far left corner of the room, all her art supplies where stacked while on the other corner was a big dresser with pictures of Mao with Erika and me during our junior high throughout high school and college years.
Then a solo picture of me caught my attention, I was wearing a high school uniform and was wearing a pair of thinner framed eye glasses, she had painted horns and fangs on that picture and added freckles on the cheek making it look like a cartoonish look instead of being me. I remembered that picture was the time I had my very first girl friend and I didn’t tell her or Erika about it. I never realized she was so jealously mad. I would never have known the reason behind her ignoring me for a whole month if Erika had not told me the reason behind it.
Mao shifted on the futon which made my heart almost stopped.
“Hai thold hyou noth thoo thom hin hir.” She said as the pillow muffled her words.
“Mao.” I said softly trying to cover up my nervousness.
Her shifting stopped instantly as she heard my voice. Inch by inch her hand moved towards the pillow and ever so slowly moved it away from her face. Her eyes peeked from behind the enormous pillow then searched for me. When our eyes finally met, it seemed like she stopped breathing then her face formed a frown.
All of a sudden she sat right up like a spring and looked accusingly at me. Then her face crumbled in discomfort that both of her hands went to her face covering it immediately. I was so shocked by her reaction that I instinctively covered the space between us and knelt beside her, my hand was about to reach out to her shoulders when she spoke.
“Shit! Shit!!! That hurt. Dammit!”
My hand stopped mid air, unable to move my hand to touch her.
“Are you ok?” I asked as quietly as I could.
“Do you fucking think I’m ok?!?” She looked at me sideways with her squinted eyes not bothering to even look properly at me.
Her entire face says “I am irritated”.
“Ummm…” I had nothing else to say, all I could do was look at her helplessly. Mao looked so pale and her sun-colored skin was almost gone. There were dark circles under her eyes, her lips looked dry-almost chapped even and her hair was a mess… but she still looked beautiful.
Why did she have to turn out like this just because of me?
“My head hurts and suddenly everything blacked out when I suddenly sat up. Dammit!” she massaged her temples as she looked at me furiously.
“It’s called orthostatic hypotension.” I said as I thought about what just happened.
“Eh? What the hell are you talking about?” She asked looking more calmly, which I could guess that the pain is fading.
“Your sudden headache and blackout, it always happens to me.” I told her warily.
“Smart ass.” She said sarcastically.
“Then I wouldn’t have been a good researcher if I wasn’t.” I chuckled a bit.
“You don’t have the right to laugh right now Ikuta.” Mao said in a warning tone.
Quickly I shut my mouth and looked grim. Then all of a sudden her hand held my face.
“You’ve grown some stubble. You never let them grow on your face.” Mao’s hand continued to graze around my cheeks and chin, as my heart thumped fiercely after feeling her hand once again on my face after so many days of missing her touch. I would take this as a substitute for now.
“I’ve missed this.” I said in a whisper as I closed my eyes.
Much too soon the feeling of her hand left my face immediately.
I quickly opened my eyes and looked at her tousled appearance. Her head was bent down, which made me unable to see her eyes because her hair fell on her entire face covering it away from me. I didn’t dare move a finger so as not to release the wrath she must have prepared against me.
Then all of a sudden her frame quivered and she started shaking as big gasping sounds came out of her mouth. That’s when I noticed that tears were falling from behind the curtain of hair that was hiding her face against me and dropping into the blanket that was covering half of her body.
“I… I’ve… mi… mi…missed… tha… that… to… too.” She was finally able to say in between sobs.
This time I couldn’t contain myself anymore, I swiftly gathered her into my arms and hugged her tightly. I couldn’t cry or laugh because right at this moment I just felt relieved. Mao hugged me back and let her tears flow on until there were no more tears to cry.
Finally we both relaxed and she released herself from me and looked into my eyes.
“I hate you.” She blurted out.
I was taken aback by what she just said that I was about to open my mouth to say something, but she put her finger onto my lips before I could say anything.
“…but not as much as I love you, Ikuta Toma.” She smiled mischievously.
That moment I really couldn’t help myself to just look at her beautiful face that I kissed her on the lips so suddenly. Tasting it, though dry and definitely chapped she didn’t wince or break away, her lips became softer as I kissed her more and more not wanting to release her anytime soon. I felt her response probing me to kiss her more deeply. Plunging more into her mouth she answered my kissing with equal hunger.
With Mao I could never know what was coming at me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So why are you forgiving me again?” I asked her incredulously not believe that Mao has actually forgiven me already without even letting me explain after she went into lengths of avoiding me like the plague.
After the make-up kiss we were both sprawled on her futon and looking outside of her now fully opened window, marveling at how a Sapporo sky could actually look like in the afternoon. It has turned a brilliant gold and blue that I was thinking Mao could actually capture this in her painting with just the perfect shade.
“Because you wouldn’t actually come here and face my family if there wasn’t a good explanation and besides you must have been seduced or forced pretty badly to kiss that girl.” She said the words “that girl” as if there was bile in her mouth she couldn’t get rid of. This made me uneasy to for a second. Then I figured I had to tell her everything about Rainie Yang.
I started telling her about what happened while she listened to me intently.
As soon as I finished telling Mao about my mother’s plan, Rainie and my dad’s doing I looked at her reaction. Her face was blank, but she kept blinking… I couldn’t guess what she was thinking this time.
“What do you think?” I asked timidly because that’s all I could master to ask.
She blinked twice then instantly shook her head furiously.
“YOU FUCKING LET HER KISS YOU!?!?” She was suddenly on her knees and then on top of me, looking down and shaking my shoulders looking bewildered.
What just happened here?! And I thought she matured a bit.
“Wha… wha….?! Mao, she kissed me! I have no choice!!! I was caught off guard. It was just like when you kissed me on the lips for the first time. I was also caught off guard but I liked it.” I told her on a rush to alleviate whatever she was feeling at that instant.
“WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?” This time she looked even more furious that her shout doubled over.
What did I just say now?
“YOU LIKED HER CATCHING YOU OFF GUARD AND KISSING YOU!?!?!?” She asked her face turning very red with anger.
Oh shit.
I sat up quickly, ignoring the sudden pain that seared through my head and fought the blackness that suddenly covered my eyes, quickly grabbing Mao’s hand I tried to look into her wide eyes.
“Mao, that’s not what I meant. I loved it when it was you who caught me off guard, when we shared our first kiss. That’s what I meant. The kiss I had with my childhood neighbor wasn’t the same with what I had experienced with you. It was a kiss that I could easily forget, that’s a kiss that I could share with anyone in this world, but the kiss I had with you that first time, even the everyday kisses I share with you, and this kiss…” I let my lips touch hers for a miniscule second catching her off guard with the sudden electricity I felt, that I surely think she felt too,
“…is the kind of kiss I would never ever ever share with anyone. I would gladly keep it for myself forever. You can call me selfish, but I don’t care. I still wouldn’t share it.” I looked intently into her eyes as she stared back at mine.
Then she sat back on the futon looking more relaxed. Smirking at me this time she opened her mouth forming a little O.
“Oh… what a good speech Ikuta, you could actually win something from it.” She said sarcastically.
“Here I thought you have matured a bit for actually forgiving me.” I shook my head unbelievingly. This woman’s mind was more complex than I thought, that it’s addicting.
“I’ve matured Toma-kuuuun… a bit.” She smiled genuinely this time as she animatedly showed me her index and forefinger leaving a very small space in the middle as she squinted her eyes to look through the space and emphasize how little she has matured.
This made me laugh.
“I’ve really missed you.” I took her arms and pulled her to my chest as we both fell on the futon while she was on top of me, inside my arms hugging her close to my heart.
She toyed with the stubble at my chin and frowned. I strained to look closer on her face.
“What’s wrong my little Mao-chan?”
“Considering the effect of my absence from you… you look rather messed up Toma-kun.” She said while scrunching up her nose.
“Look who’s talking.” I smiled as I touched her face, and the small black circles under her eyes then her lips that had once again gone dry.
“I know… you’ve turned my life upside down after that day.”
“I’m really sorry.” I said my voice full of remorse as my hands removed a few strands of hair that has fallen on her face.
“We’re done with that already. I’m just glad you actually came when my mom called you.” She smiled smugly at me.
“Eh? You knew but you didn’t even make a move to run?”
“You already know why Toma. I knew you hated going to this place, that alone was enough reason not to run.”
“But Okasan…” my voice trailed off.
“Okasan? Since when?” she asked with her right eyebrow arched upward.
“Since I’ve talked to her awhile ago and told her… I asked you to… ummm… marry me.” I looked at her face trying to figure out what she’s thinking. Mao’s face was unreadable.
“Yes.” Her voice was clear, but I don’t know what she meant.
“Eh?” I stared looking utterly confused.
“I just said yes, Ikuta.” She looked at me amusingly.
“What do you mean by yes?” My brow furrowed deeply with confusion not making sense of what she was saying.
“For a smart ass like you, you could be pretty dense sometimes. I meant yes. YES I am going to marry you.”
I was shocked beyond belief, I thought I heard everything wrong as I continuously digested what she just said.
“Are you sure? I thought you hated marriage?” I asked in a very low whisper half afraid she might change her mind anytime.
“Yes Ikuta Toma, I am one hundred percent sure. I just said those things before because I initially thought you didn’t like marriage because of your parents, so I made up those words so you wouldn’t have to think much about marriage anymore since every freaking couple we know around us is getting married, that’s why I was astonished to hear your proposal. My initial answer was already a yes. I just thought you went cheating on me so I ran away. But now, I would be willing to be your Ikuta Mao… and we’ll have those little Toma and Mao for ourselves. We should get a dog too… or a fish for starters.” Mao smiled brightly at me.
My heart swelled with pride as I looked at her.
“I love you.” Was all I could muster in this cloud of amazement I am in.
“I love you more.” She hugged me tightly while she giggled like a kid in my arms.
“Oh! Another thing… no more kissing someone else alright? I’ll be kicking your ass next time if I learn you’re giving kisses to someone else again!” She said while her face was burrowed on my neck as she started nipping my skin.
Suddenly my even breathing went haggard.
“Mao… you’re teasing me.” I said hoarsely, I’ve been restraining myself the moment I knew I was forgiven. We just made up and I didn’t want to actually take advantage.
“And its working, I could see. Why don’t we make small Toma’s and Mao’s right now?”
I could almost see the smile on that voice full seductiveness. She continued on kissing and nipping my neck, which I wasn’t really complaining about.
“Yes… we probably should.” One of my hands went to her shoulder as the other caressed her face.
Mao has started unbuttoning my shirt as I slowly removed the robe away from her shoulder when she suddenly stopped. I was dazed and my eyes were almost glassy as I looked at her shoulder’s bare skin wanting to kiss it so badly.
She shifted to look at me, her face now looking worried. My mind immediately became alert, as I took a proper look on her face.
“What’s wrong?” Not hiding the worry in my voice.
“Your father and mother… even Rainie. How are you going to deal with them?”
This question stunned me for a moment. My craving vanished instantly after she mentioned those words to me. I have no exact answer for this.
“I honestly don’t know. I don’t have a job… a real home… and my family sucks. Right now all I have is you.” I took Mao’s hand held it tightly.
Mao looked at me thoughtfully then gave a pout.
“I think you’re running away.”
This woke me up from my Mao-drunken-state that I moved slowly to sit up and look at her properly.
“Are you seriously saying this? I mean… who just ran away from me exactly?” I asked her a feeling a bit frustrated that she’s turning the tables around all of a sudden.
“Alright, I’m sorry I ran away OK? But this is different Toma, we are not talking about us right now. We are talking about you and your family. You don’t complain about how dysfunctional it is, I understand that, but you’re running away from your problems instead of facing them. That’s why right now… it’s catching up on you.” Mao sighed exasperatedly at me then pinched hard on my arm.
“Ouch!!! Why are you doing an Erika on me?” I remarked as I rubbed by arm that’s turning red. Erika was the one who gave pinches when she’s mad, and those are not ordinary pinches too. It can leave bruises in your skin like you got multiple bug bites on your arm or whatever part of your body her finger catches.
“Because you have to come out of hiding and face them.” She muttered with her head hanging low not looking directly into my eyes.
I chuckled at how she’s telling me these things which is unbelievable especially from someone who goes running at the worst possible moments.
“What?” she said while glaring.
“UNBELIEVABLE.” I emphasized each syllables to her.
“All of these coming from a run-away like you?” I shook my head and started laughing.
“YOU are being mean Ikuta Toma. Again this isn’t about me. This is about YOU. YOU and your pride. Who went away from his house the instant he came at a legal age? Who ignored his family almost half of his life? Who did not acknowledge his father and mother when he graduated from college? I’m sure it wasn’t me.”
“Ok, fine. You’re right. It’s me and my stupid pride. What do you think I should do now? Go back crawling to my mother and ask her to take me back in? Or go to my father and face my fears?”
This time she looked at me with tender eyes, as if telling me everything is going to be alright. One second she is shouting at me, the next she’s looking at me like this.
Her arms enveloped me once again.
“Toma-kun… you’re strong enough. You can face your fears. I’ll be waiting here for you when you’ve done that.”
I knew she wasn’t coming with me during my family affairs. Partly I’m disappointed that she didn’t offer to go with me, but on the other hand she already knew I had to face this alone. I also felt that I HAD to do this alone.
There in the middle of Mao’s room while the afternoon sun lit our faces, I made the decision to fix my life, in order to be with this woman in front of me.
~To be continued~
This is purely a fan-fiction.
------------notes------------
sashiburi minna san! (it's been a long time)
sorry guys... been really out of it lately... and not much inspiration. so your comments would be really loved and very useful,it will help me out to continue on with my story.
thanks you so much!!!