| Fan Fiction |
by biniBningPunkista
He doesn’t know what was coming at him.
I slowly dropped my helmet and jacket by the entrance then suddenly leaped towards Kenshi to break off his jaw. My outstretched hand was about to hit his face when he quickly dodged out of the way. What ticked me off more was the way he had the time and decency to place his cup of coffee at a nearby table so it won’t spill. That’s how quick Kenshi moved and it just made me lose any control I had within me. Even with a bewildered look, he still chose to avoid my punches instead of blocking me. We spent half an hour doing this; me throwing careless punches and him evading easily. For whatever reason this is all about, I wasn’t going to tell him… yet.
When I knew I’ve had already set the limit on his patience, my rage has dwindled into a tiny speck of annoyance. Kenshi who was also getting tired of dodging, finally blocked my hand. My attack came to an abrupt stop when our hands connected, mine with a closed fist while his with an open palm, both measuring and waiting each other’s next move. During my unguarded hour, I haven’t noticed that the others were watching with their mouths open. This was the very first time I had lost control over my emotions. I never threw out punches with so much effort and feelings inside the house. It is an unsaid rule that fights are reserved in the dojou but I fully understand that their stunned looks were because of the fact that I was trying to break off Kenshi’s bones unsuccessfully. Everyone had their unsaid respect for him, so did I, even if I was the bouchou.
Right now, I have doubted myself that I am even supposed to be one. At that moment, I was just a plain high school girl throwing out a tantrum on her guardian by using her fist.
I breathed out air to release whatever I was feeling right then and looked hard at Kenshi’s questioning eyes.
My fist unclenched, relaxed and was lowered down. Then as swiftly as my hand could move, my palm finally connected to Kenshi’s face. He never expected a resounding slap from someone like me. This has never happened inside the house hold, women with too many emotional standards were the ones who gave in to such reactions. At that moment, I just turned into one. I threw Kenshi a look full of accusations. He was my father’s right hand… who is now my own right hand and guardian.
How did this happen? Why did he have to be under my leadership when he had every right to be above me?
With this thought, I ran to my room and locked myself in and turned the stereo on which I rarely use. I didn’t want to hear anything from the outside so I turned into one of those rebelling adolescents who doesn’t want to be disturbed. I played Beethoven’s symphony No. 6 and turned the volume up till it hurt. My hearing was sensitive to such loud sounds that I had to get make-shift earplugs so I could concentrate on the music more properly without hearing the knocks on my door. It was probably Junichi who is always trying to meddle into my business when all I wanted was to be alone. I laid myself on top of the bed and covered my head with a pillow to calm myself down.
I couldn’t believe that there was so much more to know in my clan, what’s worse was hearing it from someone else and not from the people whom I grew up and trusted my life with.
On my way home while riding behind Shindo’s bike, I have been contemplating with myself on the subject we have left on the hill. There was so much I wanted to know, but I was angry. I had to clear my head before I face all the things I should know, because clearly… there was so much to learn than just being a high school Yakuza leader.
Then it dawned on to me that I wasn’t THAT upset for not knowing anything… that was part of the reason I was angry but the real reason I was mad is the fact that I could have lived normally.
To love just like any high school girls my age…
I never thought I wanted that but I had to realize early that I was not normal ever since I was born. Never had and never will and yet I could HAVE BEEN normal if Kenshi took it as his responsibility to be the clan’s leader instead of me. If only I grew up knowing that I could be like Mao who was cheerful, girly, emotional and most of all normal.
It’s all Kenshi’s fault.
But would I really be exactly like Mao even if I wasn’t the heir to the clan? I wonder…
Unconsciously my eyes closed as my mind drifted off and everything turned dark.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up slightly disoriented, the pillow was on the floor, I still had my socks on and the sheets were rumpled like I have been tossing and turning around while I was asleep. Then I came back to my senses when I heard my stomach grumble in complain.
I skipped lunch.
My wristwatch pointed at 3 pm. I slept the whole morning and missed lunch just because I was mad.
I sighed loudly as my stomach continued to complain then climbed off the bed to walk out of the door. Kenshi will not let this go, I could feel it but I also knew that he wouldn’t forcefully take the answers out of me.
As I stepped out of my room, the house was exceptionally quiet except for the snoring Junichi who was practically slumped on the floor, probably waiting for me to come out and demand some explanation for my uncharacteristic behavior. It made me feel bad to leave him like that that I poked his leg with my toe. He stirred for a bit but then shrugged his arm as if trying to wave off whatever it was that was bothering his sleep.
I decided to leave Junichi alone, it wouldn’t be nice to deal with his questionings either if he wakes up.
My foot wondered towards the kitchen, only to find Kenshi staring out through the window while sitting in the chair opposite the sink. His elbow was propped up on the table, his hand under his chin and I could smell the coffee’s aroma floating in the air. There was a cover on top of the table which I’m guessing was supposed to be my lunch.
“You’re up. Here, I’m sure you’re hungry.” Kenshi said then took off the food cover, got out of the sit and motioned for me to eat. He had already noticed I was behind him that he didn’t even bother to turn around.
Reluctantly, I moved slowly to sit on the chair he was occupying a few moments ago then he took the sit on my left and watched me carefully. I tried to ignore his watchful gaze but it was too distracting that I couldn’t eat properly. The chopsticks didn’t grab as much rice as I want them to.
“Please stop staring while I eat.” I told him before I put food into my mouth.
“What’s bothering you bouchou?” He asked, ignoring my request.
“Shtoph tallling mm bufu.” I grumbled through my full mouth intentionally. I didn’t want him to understand what I was trying to say but at the same time I wanted him to know.
Kenshi just continued to stare at me that I didn’t know whether he understood what I just said or not. I didn’t try to pay much attention to him after that, so I deliberately ignored his presence and ate my food slowly until my stomach was satisfied. As soon as I was finished, Kenshi spoke up again.
“Why do you want me to stop calling you bouchou again?” He asked with a contemplative look on his face. My cheeks started to heat up with this question that I almost choke out what I just ate.
I thought he didn’t understand.
“That was…” my voice trailed off, suddenly I felt ashamed with myself. I couldn’t look at Kenshi that my eyes averted to the table pattern instead to avoid looking at him. It showed how irresponsible of a person I have been acting all this while, childish even.
“Did that boy tell you?” Kenshi asked his voice guarded.
“Not everything.” I tried to answer with a dignified tone while still avoiding his gaze.
“So you knew…” He nodded at himself and propped his chin on his hand with his elbow on the table.
“Only some small details but I want to know more.”
“You don’t have to know everything at once.” Kenshi decided for me.
I gave him a look that told him I don’t exactly approve with it.
“Shinku, there are things you should take slow. Being bouchou is not actually new, you have been reared for it therefore it is given that the title belongs to you alone. While on the other hand, knowing things is my job as your right hand. I am here to support you for that is my duty and my loyalty lies on you and this clan. You are young, we all know that, that’s why we all wanted to give you time. Unfortunately the turn-over was given too soon that we were left unprepared. Who knew your family would be gone at an early age as this? We thought that the turn-over would be given when you are past the age of youth but with the given circumstances, I had to do what I could. It is to let you learn everything as it comes.”
“That’s the longest speech you’ve given for a long time Kenshi. Have you prepared for it?” I asked full of sarcasm.
He sniffed and gave a boyish smile. The gesture took me by surprise that it almost gave me a heart attack.
“I’m just saying that I trust you in everything you do. You might be in your rebellious stage right now, but you have the will to do what’s right for yourself and your clan.”
This made me think silently of all the selfish things I have been mulling about lately. I felt more ashamed but there was still this nagging feeling within me that I can’t let go.
“Why didn’t my father just give you everything?” I asked this without looking in his eyes directly.
“That’s such a simple question. That’s because I’m not worthy to have it, the blood that flows in my vein is not that of the Minami’s. Shinku, you are the last in line if I have to remind you that.”
“What does blood have to do with being a clan leader? You are more than fit to be bouchou Kenshi!”
“Shinku. Listen carefully. If your blood line seizes to exist, the clan will too. Your power does not only rely on the strength, ability and knowledge that you have. It’s what you have within you. It’s what you believe in, the people around you and supports you. A bouchou shall not waver, you cannot think of selfish thoughts when you are the standing bouchou of the clan. Why doesn’t anyone dare to grab your position? They all know that if you do not exist anymore, Mamoru will be a long forgotten clan. There are set of rules out there and you are in one of them, we honor it. You honor it too as part of your responsibility. We will give our lives to you even if you don’t ask us so just you and the clan would survive.”
I clenched my hands into fists as I listened to what he was saying. It’s true I have egotistic thoughts and that I have a lot to learn. For this I am truly feeling guilty, mortified even. To have thought to hand the clan over to someone, to give my responsibility to someone else was beyond shameful. I had to amend myself for thinking so low of my clan.
This is what I was born to do and so I shall fulfill my duty as the clan’s leader. I may be the last bouchou there could be or my descendants may follow in but that’s for the future to worry about. What I need to worry is what’s in the present.
I am Shinku Minami, Yakuza clan leader.
I tried to repeat that over and over in my head until it sinks in.
My eyes turned to look at Kenshi, who was intently staring at me. I nodded my head and so did he. This was an understanding we both didn’t need to explain.
I stood up from my seat and left him alone in the kitchen. There was an altar in the mansion where I had to light up incense and ask forgiveness too.
------------------To be continued------------------
Notes from the Author:
This feels like a crappy chapter. I’m really sorry… I’ll make up for this. Hope you would still read the next chapter. T_T