Fan Fiction |
by shining star
Sigh. It’s been exactly two days already and yet I’ve heard nothing from Tavia. No phone calls or anything. I’m beginning to feel worried, did something bad happen to her or is she so mad at me that she hid from me for two days? I don’t know, I just hope that she’s very mad at me than having her be in some kind of trouble. As I was moping by myself, my cell phone rang. It says “Tavia calling…” Oh my god, she’s finally calling me! So I immediately grab my cell phone and picked it up.
“Tavia, oh my god, where have you been?!” I shouted into the phone
“No where.” Tavia answered “I was at my house the whole time, but you didn’t attempt to go find me.”
“I called you a bazillion times! But you never answered my calls…” I replied
“Raymond, do you even care about me? Do you know how I really feel?” Tavia asked
She’s certainly asking me many weird questions. I’m her boyfriend; of course I care for her.
“I do care about you Tavia. I really do.” I responded “What’s the matter?”
“You may think that you care for me, but it isn’t enough. The care you have for me is just like the typical friend caring, not love. I’m starting to feel insecure with you Ray, and it’s hurting me real bad, I don’t want this to go on anymore…” Tavia explained with a crying tone in her voice
“Tavia…” I said quietly “I really do care about you.”
“I know you care for me, it’s just that it’s not the kind of caring I want.” Tavia replied “And that the person you truly love…..isn’t me.”
What was she talking about? What does she mean by that? I do love her.
“I do love you Tavia, is my love for you not enough?” I asked
“That is party true.” Tavia responded “What I expect from my boyfriend is that he only has me in his heart and no one else. If most of his heart belongs to someone else then it isn’t a real relationship anymore, we are all just fooling each other. This applies to you Ray.”
“What?” I asked confusedly
“A part of your heart loves me, but a bigger part of your heart is for Qian.” Tavia answered “Haven’t you noticed that the person you truly love is Qian? I’ve been realizing this whenever I’m with you. You’re always talking about her, you care for her more than a friend, and you’re always going into her business. It’s all so obvious Ray, why didn’t you notice this before?”
I listened carefully to what Tavia said and all of it was true. She was right, why haven’t I noticed this before? I then remembered the time where I was chasing Qian around the house and when she fell on me and at that moment, the feeling was so weird. I had a feeling, but just haven’t realized it since I already had Tavia at that time. It all had hit me so hard, the person who I really love is Qian, not Tavia.
“Raymond, I don’t want you to fool yourself anymore, and the same goes for Qian. I can tell that Qian likes you too; you guys are the one who’s destined to be together. You and I are just a one second love, but I can see that you and Qian is a long lasting couple, you guys will be happy with each other.” Tavia stated
“Tavia…I’m sorry.” I apologized. I honestly didn’t know what to say to her.
Tavia gave out a sigh of relief “It’s okay. I was hurt, but I know that you didn’t mean it.”
“You are such an understanding person.” I said, feeling guilty on the inside.
“Raymond, I want to ask you a question and I want you to answer me truthfully.” Tavia said
“Okay.”
“Did you actually love me for who I am or what is my appearance that made you like me?” Tavia asked
“At first your beauty really did attract me a lot, but after spending more time with you, I had more feelings. I found out that you are an understanding young lady who’s also smart and wise.” I replied. Honestly, that was how I felt about her.
“I’m glad that you did. I’m pretty much satisfied already after hearing you saying that. And I wish you and Qian the best.” Tavia said “Qian is a very nice girl, it’s hard to find, don’t let her go.”
“I know.” I replied
“Well, I have to go now, I’ll contact you later. Bye Ray.” Tavia said then hung up
After hanging up with her, I felt sad. I couldn’t believe that was the end of Tavia and I. It started out to be a great relationship, who knows that it will end up like this. I also couldn’t believe that Qian is the right girl for me. I never consider her to be my girlfriend, ever. But I guess as time passes, my feelings for her grew without me even realizing it. It’s weird, but somewhat nice.
I took out my phone and dialed Qian’s phone number in, but then I stopped as I thought of something. This is weird, I cannot do this. What will I tell her when we talk? “Oh Qian, I’ve realized that I like you, want to go out?” NO! That is so stupid. I seriously don’t know what to do. All the frustrations of this are beginning to build up in my head and it almost feels like I cannot think anymore. Sigh, that’s it, time for a relaxing walk. I need some fresh air to think about this over carefully.
++Li Qian’s POV
God, what is up with me these past few days? Just because Raymond didn’t call you for two days straight doesn’t mean you have the right to feel all sad! I just hate myself when I’m like that. Whenever I feel like that, I just remind myself again that Raymond and Tavia are together, I cannot be the third wheel in their relationship. Not only will it ruin Raymond and Tavia’s relationship but it will ruin our friendship and I certainly do not want that to happen. I wonder if Tavia’s still mad at Raymond, and what about Raymond? I’m worried for him so much.
I was wandering around in the streets myself at seven o’clock pm on a Friday night. I feel so spacey, so lost. Raymond and Tavia still on the top of my head, I want to forget, but cannot. Sigh…
As I was walking, I spotted Raymond just across the street. It’s pretty obvious that he could see me too because he was looking straight at me. He looked weird for some reason, his face looks like he’s about to tell me something but is trying to avoid it. It seems like he’s going to run away any second now. When the sign says that we could walk across the street, I then walked over to greet Ray.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked as I approach him.
“I uhhh…wanted some fresh air.” Raymond answered weirdly
“Are you and Tavia alright now?” I asked “I haven’t talked to the two of you for two days already.”
“Qian, you want to go to a café or something to talk?” Raymond asked, ignoring my question.
He looks sad all of a sudden, I can sense something bad has happened.
“Um, sure.” I replied.
Raymond then smiled at me then we walked to a nearby café. We ordered some coffee then seated ourselves to a nice table far away from the rest. Raymond chose that table, I wondered why.
“Sooo….” I said “Care to share what’s going on?”
Raymond sighed heavily then said “Tavia and I broke up.”
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, it’s true. We’re over.” Raymond said
“Oh my god…” I said, still cannot believe this is true. So this is the reason why he’s looking so weird and sad. “How are you feeling now?”
“I don’t know.” Raymond replied “It was quite a shock, but it faded away in about two minutes.”
“So, you’re not sad about how you and Tav are broken up?” I asked “Unless you were the one wanted to break up.”
“No, no, she’s the one who said it first.” Raymond responded
“You are such a cruel person Ray, how can you not be sad? This is something serious.” I said
“The reason why it’s not so sad is because…” Raymond said softly “is because….”
“Is because what?” I asked “Spit it out.”
“I like you.” Raymond muttered without looking at me.
Okay, this is what I heard from him. “I like you” Am I having any hearing problems here or did he really say that?
“Wait a minute.” I said “Can you say that again?”
Raymond rolled his eyes “Why didn’t you pay attention before? Did you know that this is very hard to say?”
“Alright, I’ll listen now.” I replied
Raymond gave out another sigh once more and said “I like you.”
Oh my god, so it’s true then. I wasn’t deaf, he actually said those three words that I’ve always wanted to hear from him ever since I liked him. But that was so unexpected. I’ve always imagined him telling me this when we were old and wrinkly, but he is telling me this now, right after he broke up with Tavia. Why?
“I have liked you all along, but was just too stupid to realize it. Not until Tavia pointed it out, if she didn’t then I wouldn’t be able to guess it out.”
I was speechless; I didn’t know what else to say.
“I know this must be shocking for you, but I’m telling you that all I’m saying is true, they’re definitely not lies.” Raymond said.
I did not respond again
“Qian…” Raymond said softly “Please give me a chance.” He then reached his hand over to mine and held it.
I immediately pulled back my hand when he tried to touch it though.
“No.” I finally spoke. “I’m not going to give you a chance. Who do you think you are? Just because you like me doesn’t mean I will give you a chance.”
“But, don’t you like me too?” Raymond asked “If two people like each other then they should be together.”
“True, but did you know how long I’ve been waiting for you?” I asked “So so long already, and throughout those time you never realized that! I was hurt by you many times and yet you never knew and now that you’re beginning to like me you’re going to throw yourself at me?” I asked. “I don’t want to be your back up, I really don’t.”
“You’re not my back up Qian, I truly like you.” Raymond said
“I’m sorry, but I cannot accept this.” I said. “It’s all happening too quickly.” I then grab my hand bag and walked out of the café.
I felt like crying, but no tears came out. For some reason, I thought that whenever this moment comes, I can be able to accept him and give him a chance. But when it actually came in reality, I cannot accept this fact. I know that he truly likes me, but I feel like I’m just his back up. I mean, he just broke up with Tavia and now he’s turning to me. It’s all happening so quick, way too quick. He can be so clueless sometimes. He does things before thinking carefully about it. He really doesn’t consider other’s feelings. He never thought that how might I feel when he tells me this right after he broke up with Tavia.
After I walked out from the café, I didn’t want to go home yet. So then I wandered by myself again around the streets. I went to the bar and drank several bottles of beer. It was nine o’clock pm already, it was getting late so I walked back to my house which was only several blocks away.
I got home and flopped onto my bed right away, not caring if I’m in my pajamas or not. I only want to sleep and end all this misery. Suddenly, my cell phone gave out a sound, which indicates that I have one voice mail. I then listened to that voice mail, it was from Raymond.
“Qian, where are you? I’ve tried calling you for several times already, but you haven’t picked up yet. I’m very worried about you. I know what I said earlier before at the café was shocking and it somewhat offended you. I’m really sorry if it did, I didn’t know that it would offend you so much. I didn’t consider your feelings. I thought about it already, I’ve never actually think for other people, I am indeed a selfish person. I just do what I think is right, and do it without thinking how it might affect other people. But after experiencing through Tavia and saw how we ended up like, I know that I cannot be like that anymore. The fact that I like you is true Qian, and I hope you would know that. My feelings for you are never fake; it all comes from my heart. I admit that I was wrong for jumping right into you after I just broke up with Tavia, but I did that because I’m scared that I will miss the chance to be with you. After realizing all of these things, I just want to tell you as soon as possible. I was scared that you would leave and that I will never have the chance to tell you this ever again. I don’t mind if everyone else leaving me, but I do mind if you leave me. You are very important to me Qian; you’ve played an important role in my life. After you left out of the café, I sat there by myself thinking about our memories together. How fun and happy we were back then and how you were always there to support me through all difficulties going on in my life. I need you Qian; I need you in my life to help me through. I’m glad I’m able to tell you all that. It’s easier to tell you like this than having to tell you face to face, that’s why earlier before, I couldn’t say anything. Please call me back to make sure that you are home safely, I don’t want to force you anymore. Whatever decision you make, I will respect you, weather or not you want to give me a chance or not. I’ll be waiting for your call.
I sat there on my bed, listening to every word Raymond said to me. Tears start to fall down from my eyes, I got too emotional from Raymond’s words that I had to cry. At that moment, I wasn’t mad at him anymore, but instead I wanted to hear his voice and be in his warm arms. I then punched in his numbers as I waited there for him to pick up.
“Hello?” Raymond said
“Hey, it’s me.” I replied
“You’re finally home, where did you go?” Ray asked
“I was just at the bar.” I answered
“You don’t know how to drink very well, and those places aren’t for girls to be at. You never know when a perverted jerk will come out and starts to hit on you, you should be more careful.” Raymond told me.
“I know, I know.” I replied
“Ummm…did you get my voice mail yet?” Raymond asked
“Yeah.” I responded
“Okay.” He said. “I’m glad you did.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you anymore, I understand.” I replied
“Okay.”
From the way he said that, he sounds so calm and satisfied. Although I couldn’t see his facial expression, but I feel like he’s smiling. I guess it’s a good start of something
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How's this chapter? COMMENTS please! =)