| Fan Fiction |
by haru saihara
===========================================================
Monday, November 2, 2009
Death Note 4 - L, the Past to Future Review
Story: Death Note 4 – L, the Past to Future
Author: hara saihara
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/cenielle/
Status: 22+ (ongoing)
Reviewer: iasianese @ untouchable-desires
*Disclaimer: This review is only to help the author, not being hush or anything, but if this review did not fit into your taste, then I truly am sorry. However, this is in hopes that I could help you improve on your writing for the future and if you decide to write, many more fan fictions.
Title: 4/5 [+2]
; Your title for this story wasn’t as catchy but for the death note lovers indeed it is, although I really liked the way how you wrote a title for the ‘forth’ story not just writing Death Note 4 the squeal.
Forewords: 6/10
; There wasn’t much information there, more of an author’s review of the movies of Death note.
; What you could have had done was add more information to the story you’re going to write or a little spoiler.
First Impression: 6/10
; My first impression was that this drama would be super close to the other Death Note series. Which turns out to be not that much, it’s more of a Lawliet story, although still good.
Plot/Story line: 10/15
; The story line is very original from what I’ve read so far, which is a great thing since I read many fan fictions here. Another thing is that you’re story does link to the actual Death Note, with the characters.
Flow: 4/5 [+1]
; The flow is good; it’s not rushed nor is it going too fast, which I have to say is a good point.
Creativity/Originality: 8/10
; I don’t think there are many Death Note related fan fictions out there on this site, so I believe you’re story is very creative and original.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 14/15
; I didn’t really find any spelling mistakes though I think you could’ve done better in your grammar. Your sentence’s at times are too short, make it longer a bit and don’t start sentences with ‘but’. Change it to something else, such as: Nevertheless, Although, Then.
Writing Style: 8/10 [+4]
; Your writing style is amazing, an author’s touch. Therefore I don’t think I need to say anymore about it but keep up the great work!
Characterization: 8/10
; There weren’t that many characters which allowed you to explain and show more of them, which is a good thing. Nevertheless it allowed you to clearly tell the nature of their past and present life.
Communication with Readers: 5/5
; Communication was strong; therefore it is to be a great thing. I would advise you to keep up with your writing style but try to put in a hint of more compassion into your writing that way readers can feel what you’re trying to say and express.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
; It’s very interesting yet intense at the same time, which shows a lot of emotions that is around the storyline.
Subtotal: 63/100
Bonus: 7 points ;) This is because of the effort and because I liked the way how you tried to show and explain many parts in your story.
Total: 70/100
Posted by ftCHOPSTICKS at 7:15 PM
Labels: iasianese