| Fan Fiction |
by crazyLOVE1023
My phone rang, i looked at it. It was Junsu, i smiled weakly as i answered it. “Junsu?” i whispered “Jaejoong! What are you doing? Where are you?” he seemed to noticed the slur in my voice. “I'm going to be all right, everything is going to be all right. I'm going to go, I'm never going to come back again okay Junsu? It'll be like i never existed, forget who i am okay?” i said, the words coming out too fast. None of them made any sense in my head. They didn't come out like i wanted them to. “Jae, you're scaring me. What are you talking about?” he asked anxiously, i didn't know what to say. “I'm not going to come back” i whispered, trying to keep my voice from breaking. “Jaejoong, stop it. I'm going to call your mom, stop talking like t―” i hung up the phone by accident, i pressed my face on it too hard. Calling my mom isn't going to make a difference, i wanted to say to Junsu. Because she would welcome me home.
I must have fallen asleep, because things just went black.
(Junsu POV)
“Jaejoong, stop it. I'm going to call your mom, stop talking like t―” i couldn't even finish my sentence, he hung up on me, i gulped, then took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
“What's wrong susu?” asked Yoochun, reading my expression. He stood by the window, his face was suddenly hard, guessing who i just called, “How can you feel sorry for Jaejoong? Didn't you hear what he had said to Yunho?” he said, i could hear anger in his voice. “He's family.” i whispered, staring blankly at his face. “I think he's going to kill himself” i said, my voice was breaking. I trembled, Yoochun was suddenly by my side, placing his arms around me. “Do you want to go look for him?” he said, his eyebrows pulling together. He seemed annoyed.
“No, I'll look for him myself.” i nearly growled, standing up. “I didn't mean it like that” he said, trying to distract me. “You said it, you meant it, you don't care if he dies or not” i said, tears uncontrollably falling out of my eyes, i stormed towards the door. “I'll just keep following you if you leave me here” he said, i ignored him. It would be better if we used two cars instead of one. I should call his mother.
(JAE POV)
I opened my eyes, to see black and little white dots, how long was i sleeping on the grass? I looked at my watch, 1:24 am. Four hours, i sat up and looked around, there was a bridge and water, grass and concrete. By the Han river? Maybe, i tried to remember how i got here, then it came back. Raw and hard. The pain was fresh, like the wound was still new. It was, and it hurt, i remembered why i came here. I came here to die, that didn't happen.
I sighed as i stood up, i tried to walk steadily, my knees seemed to be weak. Why was i weak during this time? Arg! Nothing ever goes the way i wanted. I tried to ignore the pain, keeping my mind from thinking back to the memories. None of them seemed to be nice, was i this mean to him all the time. I didn't deserve him at all. He deserved someone who actually loved him, took care of him, someone who wouldn't hurt him.
That someone was not me, i wasn't able to do that.
Tears started to fall again, “Shit..” i whispered, my walk slowing down. I tried to even out my breathing, my heart was still beating. Forced, it didn't want to go on anymore than i did. I coughed, i was suffocating. I took an uneven deep breath, my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, it was Yoochun, i felt my eyebrows pulling together. What did he want? Did something happen to Junsu?
“Hello?” i said as i answered, “Jaejoong! Where are you? Junsu is worried sick. Literally, he's crying and driving.” his words rushed and too loud. My head was aching. “I'm by the Han River” i whispered.
“Yunho is looking for you” he said more slowly. I felt my heart flutter at the name. He was looking for me? For what? Had he heard my message and decided to talk to me? I felt like breaking, i tried to hold myself together, for Yoochun's sake. “What does he want?” i said, softly. He noticed how it hurt.
“He wanted to make sure you were alive” he said, carefully. “Is that all?” i asked, my voice hoarse from crying. He was quiet on the other end for a long moment. “Yes” he said, i couldn't control the sobs anymore.
I let my arm fall, the phone along with it.
He didn't care. He didn't forgive me, he didn't want me.
I forgot how to breath, “Jaejoong? Jaejoong?” i heard a little voice coming from my phone. I walked forward, towards the water. Drowning sounded very comforting. I dropped the phone. I walked into the water, not even flinching at the temperature of the water, i walked. Until i couldn't walk anymore, i tried to swim deeper but i let myself float. Sooner or later i was going to go down. Right? Never see the sun come up.
I closed my eyes.
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A/N: Fixed it.