| Fan Fiction |
by QiaoKeLi
REVIEW FROM STAMAGIC-CREATIONS
Title: Test of Love
Author: QiaoKeLi
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/cremecaramel/
Reviewer: Kylemaleen
From: Starmagic-Creations
*Note: I want to clarify that whatever may be the outcome of this review, I am not being biased because you are my friend.*
Title: 3/5
I like your title, but it is kinda common already. Also, I didn't like the fact that it wasn't much of a connection to your story. Some parts may have connected, but I don't see the main part of it.
Poster/Background: 10/10
I simply love it. Can't say anything else. The color matches your story. It's light and has the happy mood that your story is projecting.
Forewords: 4/10
I was looking for something more appealing and something that would pull me to read what's to happen. Also, the forewords was short. I wanted to read something more. Actually, the first time I read this story of yours, I was really excited in reading it. I found something new with your story and the fact that you actually stated that it came from your dream, I was stuck with it.
Plot: 11/15
Your plot was actually good. I can't deny the fact that I really love your story. Your story is very simple; no complications. Also, it wasn't a draggy one. I gave you a 11 because I was wanting more. I wanted little twists through the story, but I really see your story's own beauty. I like the sweetness you placed in the story. The scenes you made up were really cute and I don't know what else to say.
Creativity/Originality: 10/15
The story had it's own originality and creativity, yet I needed to give you a 10. The part where they are already married is quite common, but I won't be subtracting points because of that. It is your style and I don't want to ruin that. There are really common parts in your story, but I wouldn't be naming all of it. I think you already know what parts of your story is already quite common and so, I am not mentioning them. I like the humor in your story. This story really has a light mood and I like it as much as I like the heavy mood type of story.
Writing Style: 6/10
Your story had quite many conversations. You didn't balance the conversations and the description of the parts of your story. You need to learn more on how to elaborate the parts and scenes.
Flow: 7/10
The flow of your story wasn't quite good. There were parts that the story was fast and there were parts that it was slow. You need to improve on your flow. I won't suggest anything because even I can't maintain the flow of my story.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocab: 5/10
I found very few spelling and vocabulary errors. the grammatical errors were the ones that were really seen. You need to practice more on constructing proper sentences. The use on tenses is one of the most important things as to not confuse your readers when a particular event happened.
Some words were wrong and I want to correct it.
Examples:
'Thank's' - The word 'thank's' doesn't need an apostrophe. It is simply spelled as 'thanks'.
'Guy's' - You used the word 'guy's' to call the attention of a group of people, therefore, there isn't a need for you to use the apostrophe. You use the apostrophe when you are referring to ownership. Also, it is used when the word comes like 'that guy is'. When you combine 'guy is' here, it would turn out to be 'guy's'.
I wouldn't elaborate more as I've already seen the other reviewers point your mistakes out.
Characterization: 6/10
You didn't really bring out the characteristics of your characters and I know that it isn't easy. But, you surely can improve more.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I enjoyed the story and I love it! Do try to practice more as to improve on your skills as a writer. Jia you!
Total: 66/100
*Was I harsh? haha.*
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Kyle..salamat ah..hahaha..yun lang..=))