| Fan Fiction |
by Chandra
“Hello,” she offered, so quietly that Rain could barely hear her.
Rain’s heart pounded as she returned the greeting. The time was appropriate for an introduction, but the social graces statue – looking into her eyes with a searching gaze.
“Who are you?”
Rain stared hard at the woman, wondering why she was in the wheelchair in the first place, how her face could be so beautiful and yet pale at the same time. And Rain was curious about her reason for this visit.
The woman looked at Rain and forced an apprehensive smile. A cold shiver shocked Rain’s body as she suddenly realized the woman was going to reclaim her.
“Rain, I’m your mother.” The ache in her voice was raw, real, expressing a pain far beyond her own.
Rain closed her eyes and opened them again, as she waited for the terrible rush of pain to sweep through her body. Agony upon hearing the lady’s acknowledgement had immediately robbed her of breath and all thought until she could find a way to simply breathe, to function.
As if recognizing Rain’s silence as a rejection, the woman panicked.
“Please, forgive me.”
Her eyes were glittering like rare gems, sparkling with tears. She dashed the moisture away with an impatient sweep of her arm.
“We’re your parents; we are here to ask you for forgiveness and acceptance.” The voice belonged to the middle-aged man, and Rain hadn’t recognized his presence up until now. His feature had etched the same sorrow as the lady whom he held tenderly.
Then Rain thought about her childhood. She had suffered through all those early years of neglect, the lack of comprehension why her parents had disposed her as if she was garbage, their total abject failure to realize that she had endured all those years because of their merciless deed.
What had her parents actually been like? What had her childhood been like? It was so difficult to know, memories being so unreliable. She had lived in an orphanage, depending on herself. Emotions had been useless for who was she to complain, to whine, to cry? She was only parentless. Food, warmth, clothes, holidays, and even love scarce.
Rain turned to look at the woman, whose gorgeous face was crumpled by grief. She knew at that moment that she cannot acknowledge the lady to be her mother. There was no room for forgiveness in her heart. It was brimming over with blame.
“If you’re my mother, where were you all these years?”
Her eyes remained locked on the lady’s, showing no mercy.
“Why did you give me away in the first place?” She asked.
Seeing the lady’s remorseful face, Rain had wanted to look away. But Rain forced herself to hold her gaze.
“I don’t have a mother. I don’t have a father. All my life, I’ve known as an orphan. How can you two just barge in here and claim me as your daughter when all these years, I was nonexistent to you?”
Her daughter’s words sliced through Ruby, paining her stomach so much she felt like doubling. Ruby leaned back in the chair for the support as she felt her legs go weak.
Ruby felt Jimmy’s hand on her shoulder. He was next to her now, and the nurse who had there few minutes ago melted away. He looked tired, his face drained, his brow furrowed with worry as he stared down at the two women who will be the only women in his life.
“I’m sorry.” Ruby responded. “I cannot ask for your mercy. I can only blame myself.”
Guilt bubbled up into the mixture of sorrow, frustration, and anxiety that gripped Ruby. The tears ran endlessly down her cheeks, and her body began to tremble in the wheelchair.
Wooziness soon overcame her. Her head spun around and around. She thought she heard Rain call her “mother” as she fell unconscious.
__
“You, son of a bitch!” Alec Su snarled violently like a beast as he advanced toward Bosco.
His hand turned into a fist and he was ready to strike Bosco any minute. Seeing the furious man was about to attack him, Bosco instantly sidestepped the blow.
“Tavia is blameless. If you want revenge, you can take it on me. Why do you have to hurt my daughter?” Alec shouted on top of his lungs.
Alec was enraged at himself for not paid attention to Tavia during these last few weeks. He abhorred his own self at his recognition that he was getting old because he cannot even properly punch Bosco without colliding his own body against the wall. Worst, Alec blamed himself for the indignity that happened to his daughter; and he was the cause of all.
Confusion outlined Bosco’s feature as his eyes blinked nonstop and his mouth dropped open. First, Alec Su had burst into the room, hauling his weakly vulnerable daughter as if she were a piece of a luggage. Next, he physically assaulted Bosco and it almost damaged his skull if Bosco wasn’t quick enough to react. Luckily, Bosco was smart to avoid Alec’s commencement of hostilities. And now, the elder man was yapping nonsense and the only message that was delivered was that Bosco seemed to be at fault in this situation. What the heck was wrong with the man?
“What the hell you’re talking about?” Bosco asked with a quizzical look.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ve gotten her pregnant and now you’re not taking responsibility?”
“What pregnancy? What responsibility?” Bosco clearly had no idea what was going on anymore. Had the man actually lost his mind?
“I’m going to kill you, bastard.”
Tavia’s heart thudded with fear at the thought that perhaps her father really could and would carry out this threat.
“Dad, it’s not him.” She insisted desperately, tears now blinding her haunted brown eyes, her lower lips quivering pitiably.
She had been standing in the corner of the room, quietly sobbing her heart out and yet nobody noticed her. Tavia dreadfully longed to tell her father that it wasn’t Bosco, but it was the man who stood on the other end of the room. He too, was silent and perplexed at the scene of her father and Bosco’s aggression.
Both of the men stopped struggling and turned their awareness to her. They had also forgotten that Raymond was in the room with them as well. Emotion caught in her throat as they faced her, probably discerning the fact that Tavia was the reason of their combating.
“I’m sorry father.”
Her chest ached. She took the last few steps backward. Tavia covered her face in humiliation as she cried boisterously until her nose ran. She turned around, not wanting to face them until she was totally in control. Tavia swallowed a couple of times, took a deep breath, and ran out of the office.
Tavia kept running until she found the Exit sign. She opened the door and stepped out on the porch of the hospital, dragged in a cleansing breath of air. She heard someone’s footsteps behind her.
After a while, Raymond found her there. He stood awkwardly to one side. Her sobs shook her slender body, but for the life of him he could not find the right words of comfort.
An unaccustomed silence stretched between them, growing more and more uncomfortable as the minutes passed. Finally, Tavia shot a glance at Raymond’s stony profile. She wiped her tears, and spoke as soon as the crying was done.
“I never expect this.” She confessed quietly. “But I’m pregnant with your child.”
Tavia thought that the sky pitied her because a few drizzles began to wet her face. Tavia turned sideway, glancing at Raymond. She wanted to see his expression. Was he going to be annoyed that she had made up a joke and even her father believed her? Would he laugh at her and would say that he’d almost think she was serious?
Raymond drew up his shoulders with a jerk, and Tavia doubted it was the rain that affected him. He stood still as a statue for a moment, his jaw muscles clenched. His chest was bare even with the white shirt and soaked with rain, and if he didn’t look furious enough to shake her, she might have had a difficult time trying to stand still, because her body shivered underneath the thick clothes.
They were silent for a minute, but it felt like hours. And he must have realized that she wasn’t teasing him because, he faced her.
In a steady, unemotional voice, Raymond said, “It can’t be. There must be a mistake.”
Tavia said nothing in response. She could see him in her mind, at first, came the denial, and then the blame. His face framed by those short, straight hairs, shocking eyes, tall nose, and the mouth quivered slightly.
Raymond linked his fingers together and stared at them. He didn't want to say it, but the words seemed forced up from some wellspring of emotion he had finally tapped.
"Are you sure it’s me? It might be Bosco’s.”
An image of their awakening nakedly that morning at Raymond’s house shot across his mind, and his scattered emotions focused instantly. He couldn’t remember if they had used protection or not. Even if they didn’t use condom, it didn’t mean that he was the one who made her pregnant.
Tavia stared at him; her eyes opened wide in anger and exasperation. What did he mean by that? Of course it was him. She had never slept with any one in her entire twenty years.
“So what are you saying? That I don’t know the father of the baby?”
“I didn’t mean that. I just don’t want to be the victim here. Tavia, you have been through a lot of emotions since your mother’s illness and family’s matters. You might confuse with me and Bosco.”
Tavia stared at him with a fury. Her heart felt sick.
It was an accident, and it wasn’t like she had wanted herself to be pregnant. If to classify the victim, she was the victim here. She would have to face the shame, the guilt, and the disgrace that she brought upon her family. And it wasn’t her fault only. It was both of theirs.
“I can’t believe you would say something like this. I’m disgusted with you.”
Tavia’s mind wandered slowly, bumping into dead ends, stopping and then starting again with little reference to previous thoughts. So this was the real Raymond Lam. His true self finally surfaced and all along, she had trusted him. She had shared all her problems with him, unquestioning his empathy. Now, Tavia realized how naive she was.
“I’m sorry Tavia. I don’t want to be a scapegoat for you and Bosco.”
It was impossible not to believe what Raymond was saying. Could the tone he used right now be the same as the ones he had said few months ago? He had offered her consolation and kindness. Now, he was being unpleasant and heartless. It defied the laws of logic. Or did it? You could change your mind about people or situations. It happened all the time. One minute, you thought you knew them. The next two minutes, you hadn’t gotten a clue. But in two minutes? From one extreme to the other?
“You don’t want to be responsible for this. Must you spit out such offensive words?”
“I’m not trying to be mean to you. It just seems too sudden and intolerable for me to believe that I would make you pregnant.”
The maliciousness in his voice was the final straw, brining tears to her eyes. She gave in to the tears for a full minute, gulping air and making humiliating little noises. Then she dabbed her eyes, blew her nose, and gave him a look that filled with revulsion. He glanced away, not looking back at her.
Tavia then closed her eyes and let streams of raindrops drench her face. If he had refused to be accountable for their ‘accident’, then Tavia had no reason to think she would be any different.
The pain in her heart wasn’t so bad anymore. Sort of a dull ache now. In these few weeks, things had become chaotic and unpredictable. Her mother was cheating on her father, and now Tavia had a sister she had never known. Then, she got pregnant with a jerk, an asshole who didn’t want to be responsible for his action. Now, she was in the rain, cold and exhausted.
All of a sudden, a deep, masculine voice interrupted the tense silence between Raymond and Tavia. He came into view, holding an umbrella while he gave Raymond a disapproval look.
“You’ve disappointed me, son.”
He quickly approached Tavia, a smile appeared on his face. Did he overhear the conversation between Tavia and his son?
=======================================================
Chandra
01/09/08
Thanks everybody for commenting. Gosh, it’s so hard writing this chapter. You have to put emotions into the story as well. So if you guys recognize any mistake, please forgive me. And don’t forget a few words in the comment page, it would be so great.