| Fan Fiction |
by Chandra
However, Rain recalled a time when she had visited one of her orphanage friends ten years ago at the hospital, she had learned that the boy was dying of cancer and he had been on the waiting list for many years already. By the time the bone marrow benefactor was found, it was too late. Thus, on that day, she had signed up for organs donor.
Thus, with this information, Raymond persuaded her to go to see Ruby. Never, in her life, had she expected to contribute one of her organs to her family. Well, she had never known she had a family. And now, walking with Raymond toward Ruby’s room made Rain nervous. She didn’t know how to face her mother.
As if knowing her feelings, Raymond touched her shoulder and Rain turned to him, expecting to see sympathy in his face. What she saw was what she wanted to feel: emptiness. Like him, she’d felt nothing, not comprehending what her heart was feeling.
He’d touched her, not to comfort her but nudge her aside so he could take a step forward, and twist that dull brass doorknob. Raymond was leading her because he knew she was afraid. He had no hesitancy in him. No doubt. No worry about what to do.
But then, he wasn’t in her circumstance. How would he feel if he was going to meet a mother who had not wanted him in the first place? What would he say to her? And Rain had many things to say. However, she acknowledged Ruby’s current condition. She was fearful that once she opened her mouth, all the blames and suffer she had felt toward her mother, will emerge. Thus, Rain was glad that Raymond was willing to accompany her to see Ruby.
At that moment, her mother looked up. Her face, which had been drawn in sorrow, suddenly bloomed with a smile of purest gladness and thankfulness. Too moved to speak, Ruby slightly reached out her arm, hoping that Rain would accept them. Rain broke away from Raymond and went to her, feeling the strong, familiar embrace that she had been craved all her life. Now, Rain was feeling safe and loved.
Into the warm, loving shoulder, Rain murmured, “Mom, I’m here.”
Ruby was speechless. Not a word could describe her emotion. The tears instantly flowed its way down her face, Ruby closed her eyes.
Although her body was weak, and the treatment tool known as graft still clung to the veins in her arms was painful, Ruby didn’t feel the soreness at all when Rain hugged her.
Ruby pulled back, cradling her daughter’s face, stroking her hair. Her eyes shone as she kissed Rain’s forehead.
“I’ve never been happier, Rain, never.”
__
Tavia hesitated at the entrance of the room, trying to gather the courage that suddenly seemed to have fled from her. She remembered the deception her mother had kept from her family. She thought about Alec, her father, the man her mother had vowed to love, honor and cherish till death did them part. Her mind then rested on Raymond, who had bluntly refused to take part of their mistakes.
Tavia was injured, emotionally and physically.
Feeling suspended between elation and nervousness, and an odd sense that she had been a heartbeat away from witnessing something that was desperately important as this visit; Tavia entered the room at the sight of a family reunion. She wasn’t prepared for this. Mother and daughter bonding. Worst, she wasn’t part of the family.
Tavia moved stiffly toward them, like a mechanical doll. The way she felt inside, it was a wonder she was able to move or even think. Yet here she was, on a visit with her mother, it seemed as if she had come into the wrong room.
The scene disgusted her. A sharp chill skimmed down Tavia’s spine, causing her to shiver so violently that both hands dropped to their sides. She wanted to yell at them.
Then, she was puzzled to see Raymond Lam there as well. His hand was on Rain’s shoulder, his eyes full of concerns. Suddenly, her head was throbbing. This was too much.
She finally knew why Raymond had acted the way he acted. So this Rain girl was his lover. God, first it was Bosco, now Raymond. She wanted badly to slap the girl. She had all the attention and affection, and she still behaved like an ill-fated soul.
Nonetheless, Tavia had to act normal. She was going to be civilized, Tavia thought ruefully. If Rain was civilized, Tavia would have to be civilized, too, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to be. She might want to scream or throw things, but she wouldn’t be able to if they were all acting mature and diplomatic. Besides, she had to put on a performance, for her mother’s sake.
Tavia glanced at Raymond, her face an expression of annoyance. She caught Raymond’s eye. His upper lip rose in a curl of distaste.
Rain stood quietly, faintly shocked by the extraordinary beauty of the young woman remaining in the shadows of the room. She was smaller than Rain had first thought – not short, but not tall either.
Tavia's face was arresting, her eyes enormous, haunted, and mesmerizing. They were a vivid, brilliant brown, holding shadows and secrets and unimaginable hatred. Even her mouth was sculpted and attractive. But she had much more than physical beauty, Rain thought. Everything about Tavia was different, Rain felt she was nothing compared to Tavia.
The mood was uncomfortably awkward as all of them looked at one another.
Now Ruby had to untangle the web of lies that had brought her daughters to this place. Trying to appear calm, she took both Rain’s hands in hers. Feeling the calluses and creases of labor there, she had a brief, swift vision that Rain must have gone through a lot of hardship at young age. And the vision terrified her. God forgive her, because she never realized the life her daughter had endured.
All of a sudden, Ruby broke the silence.
“Tavia, this is your sister, Rain.” Ruby managed a smile while her eyes were lovingly still on Rain.
It was suddenly too much, and Tavia, feeling smothered, gazed at Ruby with difficulty. Her mother’s words crushed her heart. She could feel the bitterness inside her.
Tavia gave Rain a hateful look. Perversely, she couldn’t help blaming Rain… for taking her mother away from her. For not willing to do the surgery so Ruby could be saved. In addition, Bosco was being defensive and caring toward Rain.
Above all that, Raymond had destroyed their friendship, probably because of Rain. Tavia knew those excuses were nonsense, but feelings so often were. And they were so strong, effortlessly overriding the silly dictates of the intellect.
Tavia tried to keep her voice free of complicated emotions.
“She’s not my sister, mom. Please, don’t tell me lies.”
Immediately, Ruby was overloaded. Overwhelmed. The denial of Rain as Tavia’s half-sister congealed into a quivering wad of anxiety that pressed down on Ruby, causing her heart to ache.
The possibility that Tavia might also be enraged at Ruby for keeping a secret from her tormented Ruby. She’d always believed she and Tavia shared an unbreakable bond, forged in love and trust. So how could have Tavia thought her as a liar?
___
It was the second time in as many days that Ruby had jerked awake in the darkness just before dawn, but this time the empty walls of the room had not screeched with silence anymore. This time, the room was filled with sadness as Alec sat there beside her bed.
He was a kind man, Ruby told herself. More than kind. He was tolerant and loyal and compassionate, and so perfect she wanted to sink down and weep at his feet, begging for forgiveness for having deceived him all these years.
“Sorry for what?” he asked tenderly, arranging the lock of hair on her shoulder with the care of a museum curator.
“For not telling you about Rain. About what has happened between me and Jimmy. I know you will forgive me, but I cannot forgive myself.”
He was silent for a moment. “I know everything, Ruby, you don’t have to tell me. I love you and there’s nothing can stop me from loving you.”
Alec had done everything for her and loved her. During the times of being his wife, he had transformed her life.
“Thank you for loving me. And I love you too, Alec. I do.”
Ruby watched, deeply touched as a slow, contented smile slid across Alec’s lips. It was like watching the sun rise – dazzling, warm. She tore her gaze away and looked out to the open window. Darkness haunted the edges of dawn, adding an atmosphere of deep closeness.
And then Ruby thought of Tavia and Rain and began to pray for her daughters. She didn’t know where to begin. It was so difficult to talk to God. She didn’t want to impose on Him and ask for too much. She was dimly aware of him releasing her. She lay back on the pillows and closed her eyes.
Another wave of remorse washed over her. The guilt had been eating her heart inside out when she thought of all the things Rain had gone through; parentless-ness and poverty. She was feeling even more apologetic for hurting Tavia.
But Tavia’s rejection of Rain’s existence was like salt rubbed into a gaping wound, and she was more mortified that Tavia would do that to her sister. It had saddened Ruby to see Tavia walk out on Rain and not willing to recognize Rain as her sister.
But still, in a peculiar quiet moments, like now, when it was so silent that she felt a hollowness that should be filled with the real thing of life. Perhaps, God was punishing her. Rain’s reason for the visit was to tell Ruby about the kidney donor. It was ironic how Rain, the daughter she had left behind, was donating one of her kidneys to Ruby.
Yes, it was Karma. And Ruby knew she could not and would not accept Rain’s organs. Ruby had owed her daughter too much. Never mind that she was dying. So, as her heart cried in regret and shame, the decision made itself. Ruby hardly knew that she was making it.
Ruby opened her eyes and the tears escaped. She reached up and touched her lawful husband’s cheek.
“Alec, I have one favor to ask you before I go.”
“No, Ruby. We still have hope. I love you, I won’t let you go.”
“It’s time, I know. I am indebted to Rain and her father. And now I cannot so selfishly allow my daughter to take the risk of doing the transplant with me.”
He let out a long breath. His eyes had a wild fear in them, dark yet gleaming, like black patent leather.
“Ruby, you are so heartless. You cannot think that death is the only solution to all of us.”
Alec’s heart was breaking. Why was Ruby telling him at this instant that she was going to leave him? She obviously didn’t feel as if dying would not break his heart.
“I want to see Rain and Tavia.” Her voice was urgent that Alec swallowed a few times, not wanting Ruby to see his sorrow while his shoulders tensed.
“I want to see them reunite as sisters before I die. This is what I’ve always dreamed of. Please, give me that only request.”
And now, she claimed to leave him. How would he live without her? Alec had been desperate to climb inside Ruby’s sorrow, to help her fight it, to reassure her that he was there for her, so she won’t leave him.
His mouth went dry. His stare was riveted by Ruby’s extraordinary eyes, eyes so gray and miserable they resembled mirrors, reflecting his image back at him. What Alec was looking back was himself, already helplessly in love with his wife. He had fallen for her at first sight. Even before he was married to her.
And he hoped he had the courage to tell Ruby that their precious daughter Tavia was pregnant. Not only that, she would get married soon. Would the revelation make her want to continue living? Would she be thrilled that she would somehow agree to the surgery so she could see her own daughter’s wedding?
Soon, his thoughts drifted to Rick. His friend’s words at first had disturbed Alec, but now, it didn’t matter anymore. The doctor had apologized for Raymond’s irresponsibility. He’d also suggested that Raymond and Tavia would have a proper wedding once Ruby had successfully operated the kidney transplantation. Now Tavia’s irrational action was not significant as much as his wife’s condition.
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Chandra
02/02/08