| Fan Fiction |
by Chandra
Both Raymond and Bosco stared in horror as they turned their attention toward Rain, who lay helplessly on the parking curb. Bosco looked down at Rain, his eyes anguished and mortified, and stopped instantly, like a machine whose current had been cut. Silence reigned in the atmosphere, except for the vague hum of the bees in the tree nearby the entrance.
Torture and astonishment immediately flashed across Raymond’s expressionless face, as if someone had just stepped on his finger, or twisted his flesh. Few seconds later Raymond’s face had gotten its color back. His frantic eyes were calmer and his lips moved slightly. “Oh God, Rain!” Raymond panicked.
After regaining his consciousness, Raymond quickly bent down and lifted Rain up in his arms as easily as if she were a child. He tried to avoid any sudden, jerky movements to lessen the bleeding between her legs and spare Rain any more wound. He walked across the hospital gate with Rain in his arms.
The veranda suddenly became more animated and boisterous despite chaos in his mind. He only knew that Rain saved him and he had to do something.
“Come, step aside, let him past… step aside,” someone shouted.
He looked behind him and noticed Bosco, whose face was vacant, devoid of emotion, uncomprehending at what was happening.
“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to kill her or you.” Bosco repeated in a low murmur, almost as soft and gentle as the whispering of lovers.
Raymond slid inside the emergency door, Rain still in his arms, hunching his wide, bearlike shoulders as he put her on one of the available stretcher. Staff members, nurses, and two obstetricians saw what happened and gathered themselves around Rain and Raymond. He followed as these four white blouses pushed a stretcher toward the operating block.
The only man in the group kept shouting, “step aside, and clear the way, please.” A short, chubby doctor bustled about. Raymond recognized that he was one of the best surgeons at the hospital and was relieved that he was present.
Rain lay on the stretcher, her face ashen, her forehead drenched in sweat, but she wasn’t moaning. Rain opened her eyes, and seeing Raymond there, smiled weakly. Rain turned over and held out her hand, smiling through twisted lips. Tremblingly, Raymond took her hand. The tears rolled slowly down her cheeks into these hollow, dry sockets. She was in pain, both physically and emotionally, but her eyes still flashed like coals.
Rain spoke to Raymond, her voice feeble, but lucid. “I never cheated on you, Raymond. Please believe me.”
She had squeezed his hand, her pale lips had moved slightly, murmuring. The tears continued to stream down her sallow, blotchy cheeks. She coughed, and her frail shoulders and flattened chest jerked forward. Raymond didn’t dare speak. He stroked her hands.
“Please, don’t talk too much. You’re going to be fine.”
She looked at him, her eyes hopeless and sorrowful. “It hurts knowing that your heart doesn’t belong to me anymore. It hurts because I still love you despite how cruel you have treated me.”
Perhaps her heart was truly bound to only one man, a true, catastrophic love. And now Rain had staked her life on that man, she couldn’t extricate herself. Even now, some dark, stifling residue of it remained. Rain knew she was foolish to love a man who no longer loved her.
Even if she lived after this mishap, she couldn’t bear seeing Raymond, knowing that he might love her because of what she had done for him. Rain didn’t want love out of gratitude. Rain rather died than to have a man whose heart didn’t belong to her. And as these thoughts marching its way to her mind, these silent cries piled up inside her, like so many pebbles, leaving tangle, painful scars on her soul.
Rain gazed at him. Raymond wanted to look away, but couldn’t. He felt as if a lump was stuck in his throat, his face burned with regret. Raymond had been focused so completely on the betrayal that he’d mostly forgotten the beautiful things about Rain – her essence, her love for him still existed. Yet with shame and guilt, Raymond cannot find himself the courage to utter a word of apology, of repentance.
Rain felt the searing, empty hurt left by his indifference as he made no reaction. How could she have fallen in love with this man? Rain believed sadly, that perhaps Raymond had no heart all, no conscience, or he was still angry at her. Or maybe that Rain no longer had a position in his heart.
Then she thought about Ron and his guilt-ridden face clouded before her eyes. She wished that she hadn’t treated him harshly. Rain remembered his pale, trembling lips, how the words had tumbled from his mouth and scattered like so many pebbles down a hill when he had tried to apologize to her and promised to take care of her for the rest of his life. Why hadn’t she accepted him? And the answer immediately came to mind. All she ever desired was true love, true happiness. Even if she lived with Ron, he would be the constant reminder of her brutal fate. And she couldn’t confide to Ron about that either. She was destined to live in misery, in loneliness.
Thus, Rain had resolved to surrender to her merciless fate. When there’s nothing more to live for, why doesn’t a woman just die? Rain had asked herself this question many times. Each time, she had given herself a silent order. Perhaps, now she was doing to die without trying. Finally, Rain came to a conclusion.
“Raymond, please save the child. Can you please accomplish my last request?”
“Rain, you and the child are going to be okay.” Raymond said anxiously as he hovered over her, his face was now full of concern and fear.
It was neither an answer nor a question. Just an echo, like the one that resonates when you shout into a valley surrounded by rocky cliffs. Rain looked at him, recalling their moments together, the day she had first met him. She didn’t understand why Raymond’s soulless voice had brought back all these sounds and colors. But these memories moved her and helped her forgive him.
”If I can’t make it, please, let the baby live. I beg you.”
____
She woke up, still blurred and lifeless from her short blackout, and stared at the blank wall in front of her. Tavia wondered how long she had passed out. And then train of thoughts and flashes of scenes brought her to realization with an unexpected shock to her heart, and the full anguish of the evening was upon her once again.
“Tavia.” Alec called out her name as he entered the room.
When Tavia saw her father, she crumbled like a broken banana bush, and broke down, sobbing. In one leap, he caught her in his arms.
“I’m here, daddy is here. You’re not going through this alone, my daughter.”
“He died because of me.” Tavia broke off abruptly.
“It’s not your fault.”Alec consoled his daughter yet he knew his voice betrayed his words.
Tavia looked up at him. She thanked her father silently for his comforted words and fatherly gestures, but she knew deep down she had everything to do with Ron’s death.
“He saved me, dad, that’s why he’s dying.” Alec looked away, not sure of what to say next.
“You didn’t mean for it to happen.” He conceded hollowly,
“But he was dead because he saved me.”
What could Alec say? A dozen lies came to mind, but Tavia had already heard them all. Alec wished he could reverse time, his daughter and his wife were still with him, and happiness was within their reach. Now that the light of his life was gone, everything had gotten worst. Tragedy after tragedy befell on Tavia, and Alec felt helpless as he watched his daughter struggle through everyday’s life. He missed those years when a teenaged Tavia got into troubles; he would be there for her, taken care of problem, even the biggest one. But now, everything was different. His wife was gone. His daughter had grown up and married.
However, the only thing Alec could do now was be there for his daughter. He just sat there on the floor, held her in a paternal embrace as Tavia began to cry. No one said anything for a few minutes. And the only two sounds in the room were the wailing wind outside the window and Tavia’s crying.
Alec let his daughter to go on talking like this, that her bitterness might loosen and come away, carrying with it all the pent-up suffering and guilt. “My child was dead because I was a bad mother, because I didn’t think about it, I was being selfish. And now Ron died too.”
Tavia didn’t know, afterward, how long she had wept. She knew only that it had lasted a long time, as it to compensate for all the suffering she had endured. She cried until her sobs gently subsided.
Consequently, she got up and went standing by the window, looking out upon the lawns. All of a sudden, she began to laugh. Tavia stood there laughing and weeping at the same time. Alec could not bear it; it made him frightened, ill. Alec could not stand the terrible sight of his daughter and he couldn’t find any more word to console her either.
“Tavia.” He cried, his heart twisted in pain.
He blamed himself for he hadn’t taken care of Tavia. All these months, he had tried to deal with his own suffering, the death of Ruby, that he had completely forgotten his only daughter.
“Tavia, don’t be like that, you’re scaring me.” Alec called her again, but she was oblivious to his plea.
The nurses rushed into the room as they heard some awful and yet lamenting noises. The deafening cries and eccentric laughter echoed throughout the hallway of the hospital. Seeing the older man was powerless to soothe his daughter’s upsetting state of mind, the nurses decided to give her some sedatives.
Once Alec Su perceived what the nurses were up to, he couldn’t tolerate it. He was terrified but his daughter had gone mad. A cry rang out inside Alec as he silently watched his daughter skirmish under two nurses’ forces. After a few struggles, they eventually got a hold of her and brought her to the bed.
He moved and sat next to the bed and held his daughter’s hands while the nurses injected the tranquilizer. The injection had done its job, and Tavia’s fingers felt limp. She stared blankly at nothing. Her pupils had grown dilated, and the light had gone in her miserable brown eyes. Alec sighed as the nurse trailed their thumbs over the protruding veins just below Tavia’s wrists.
____
There was no moon over the cities, or, rather, one could say that the moon was shamefaced and pallid, overshadowed by garish, multicolored lights, a mere corpse floating in a sky clogged with smoke and dust.
Bosco had already smoked more than three cigarettes that evening when one of his colleagues offered it to him. He wasn’t a smoker since he had acknowledged the risk of smoking, yet he felt these tobaccos were the only source that can relieve his angst and remorse. He sat on a bench in the waiting room, watching the curls of smoke, incapable of taming his anxiety. They had just taken Rain into the surgery room. The doctor had decided to perform a cesarean, fearing that she wouldn’t be able to give birth normally.
Leaning against the wall, Raymond crossed his arms. He seemed to be waiting for something else, lost in his scattered thoughts. Suddenly he woke up. He slid off the wooden chair inside the lobby and walked outside. Bosco was still seated, swaying, on the bench. Hearing the sound of Raymond’s footsteps, he looked up. The footsteps were familiar to him. They were sounds that he had now grown accustomed to hearing, to waiting for the most awful moments of his life. The two men looked at each other. Raymond raised his hand, his lips twitching uncontrollably, and slapped Bosco hard in the face.
Ever since, Bosco had stayed as silent as a grave. The men didn’t look at each other anymore. They were in their own thoughts. Bosco was still seated on a bench. His head bowed, he looked down at the ground of the yard as if to count the bricks or the blades of grass between them.
All of a sudden, Raymond asked sarcastically with a harsh tone. “Are you disappointed that I wasn’t dead? Huh? Tell me Bosco Wong!”
Bosco wanted to scream back, to deny his desire to kill Raymond. He felt the urge to die, to kill himself, or to put an end to this existence. But he stayed riveted in his seat. Under the cold night sky, the lamp in the front cast a murky glow over the shadows. He didn’t know why he still loved Tavia madly, desperately. To the extent of intending to kill someone.
“I don’t know what came over me, and I’ve regretted it. I hated you because you have ruined both my and Tavia’s life. But I didn’t intend to kill you. I --.” Bosco was lost for words, for excuses, why he was so rash and vindictive.
A frenzied regret tore at his heart. Bosco had clenched his teeth, but the moan had escaped him. He realized he was losing all self-control, soon he would have to scream, to break something, hit somebody, or maybe kill himself. But he did none of that. Raymond’s blow on his face had somehow waken every nerve in his body, and he was becoming more conscious of the surroundings around him.
But guilt still gnawed at the bottom of his heart. What had he done? He had almost killed Raymond and now the person who was closest to him was in danger. There was a possibility that Rain or the child might die. Or Both. Bosco had overheard the conversation between the surgeon and Raymond.
__
Raymond had left hastily after Bosco had justified Rain’s undeserved condemnation. Bosco was aware that he shouldn’t tell Raymond about Rain’s personal matter but he must do so for the sake of Rain. Bosco had brought this catastrophe upon Rain, and yet, he was a coward for not facing reality, for not facing Rain.
In a flash, the pain and anger rose in Bosco, illuminating the course his life had taken over time, revealing another facet that was both stupid and cowardly, a stubborn determination, and the resignation of shameful action. He had been foolishly blinded by love, by revenge, that he lost his sense, his morality.
Bosco was mortified when he saw Rain’s willingness to save Raymond. And he was disgusted, angry, and ashamed of himself when he didn’t have the audacity to face Rain in her tragic moment. If he hadn’t pushed Raymond, then none of this would happen. If only he knew how to control his emotions and think sensibly, then none of this would have gotten out of hand. It was his fault, entirely his, because of his vengeful and impulsive trait.
After Raymond had gone, Bosco stayed there, lying down, even though it was already after eight o’clock, smoking as if he had gone mad. The more he smoked, the more he felt his limbs go limp, his mind wandered. One minute he felt like crying. The next, he wanted to smash the building to bits, to see the walls come crashing down, to see it all crumble.
Someone shouted, calling his name. He felt like shouting back, but he contained his rage. Suddenly, the tears began to flow. From the corners of his eyes, they rolled down his temples, and then trickled through the roots of his hair, slowly cooling. He stayed there, his back stuck to the surface of the bench. His tears continued to flow. There were loud footsteps coming toward him. This time it wasn’t Raymond’s silhouette in the dark, but Rain’s father.
When Jimmy appeared, he was taken aback at the miserable sight of Bosco. What was worst than a man crying in silence? Nonetheless, Jimmy couldn’t control his anger. He needed to know what had happened and why Bosco, the man Jimmy had trusted, had injured his daughter.
“My pitiful daughter. Fate has been ruthless to her. She has trusted the wrong person and fallen in love with a man she wasn’t supposed to.” Jimmy spoke in a grave, serious tone.
Dark wrinkled creased at the corner of his mouth. His eyes clouded over and his entire face suddenly seemed gaunt, gray, old, and faded.
“Tell me, Bosco,” Bosco looked up, his eyes vacant, his face as empty as an old gourd. Bosco said nothing. Jimmy spoke again, his voice harsh. “Was it you who pushed Rain onto the curbside?” Jimmy exploded when younger man didn’t reply.
___
The corridors of the hospital were packed, crowded with patients and their families coming and going. The line in front of the examination room was long. White silhouettes seemed to glide along the building as the orderlies, flanked by nurses, carried people on stretchers the length of the process. For the first time Raymond had become aware of how hectic and crammed the hospital was as he made his way back to the operating room.
“Rain! I’m so sorry.” the cry freed Raymond as he visualized Rain lying lifelessly on the bed. The tears ran down his face, feverish and salty, pouring down his cheeks, and under his chin. He felt his veins thaw, the ice melting.
The truth behind Rain’s pregnancy extinguished the bitterness that had flared within him. His heart froze. His brain was stunned, shattered. A moment passed before he could process it all.
After the confrontation with Bosco fifteen minutes ago, Raymond had discovered that Bosco wasn’t the one who impregnated Rain. All this time, he assumed that Bosco was the father of Rain’s child and Raymond reasoned that since Bosco was in love with Tavia, perhaps that was why Bosco had never admitted that the child was his. Not until this moment, not only did he learn that, he also uncovered Rain’s unfortunate fatality.
Rain was raped and she had never told him. All along, she had led Raymond believe that she was the one who destroyed their relationship and he was at not fault for loving and marrying her sister. He had wrongly condemned Rain. And she had never tried to defend for herself. Now, instead of hating him, she still loved him, was willing to sacrifice her own life for him.
Now Raymond was suddenly ashamed of himself as the memory of Rain’s vulnerable eyes staring up at him in tenderness and agony. He couldn’t explain why Rain, faced with such imminent danger, hadn’t worried about her own life or the life of the child, but rather proclaiming her unreserved love for him, fearing for his life. At this moment, all Raymond knew was that Rain had been ready to sacrifice her own life to save his. And all this time, he had done nothing but wounded her with his bitter remarks.
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Chandra
08.09.08
I hope this chapter isn’t much of a disappointment. The next chapter will be more about Tavia. THANK YOU for everything. I apologize for not updating more often.