| Fan Fiction |
by Chandra
Her lashes fluttered. Lifted. Her eyes opened slowly, focusing on his face. Despite her pain, she made an effort to smile at him. “I was dreaming of you.”
“Have I told you today that I love you?”
“I can’t remember. Better tell me again.”
“I love you, Ruby.”
Her eyes, large and color of brown chocolate, studied him seriously as he said those words. Ruby was in a world of feeling and love. It surrounded her, embraced her, a perfect paradise. She had once thought how lucky she was to have Alec and Tavia. The two important people in her life.
But she now began to realize that happiness was just momentary. The snake began an insidious attack, slithering into her perfect world and bringing images of the past that she felt tormented as if she was held down, locked beneath heavy rocks. Her soft cries of happiness were drowned out by the agonized scream of an infant. A child’s cry for her mother.
Ruby forced her mind away from the nightmarish images, determined to recapture her living, present moment with Alec Su.
For the first time in years, she hadn’t awakened with the thought of hoping, not wanting to die. She was wide-awake, and her mind was suddenly filled with Jimmy. She didn’t understand why she was thinking of him at this moment. As hard as she tried, she could not extinguish the tiny ray of hope growing deep within her. Jimmy.
There was a faint ache in her heart, betraying her own deep needs and cravings. She felt her strength ebbing. Somehow the thought of him made her strong and gave her hope.
Ruby had been through so much in her life. As her husband, Alec wanted to protect her from all harm, shield her from all adversity. Now he knew her. He knew her heart and soul. He knew every scar in her mind. The wounds were deep, and he couldn’t get rid of them anymore. Alec realized that those memories, that horrendous life she had endured and survived, had made her the courageous woman she was.
Alec rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I just want you well again and out of here.”
“Me too.”
The familiar fear clutched at her. For a few minutes Ruby had forgotten where she was and why, but now reality returned with a jolt. She was sick. Mysteriously and genuinely sick. When she’d first protested that she was fine and didn’t want to be checked into the hospital for testing, Alec was so worried that he immediately took her to the hospital himself.
“Ruby.” Her name was wrenched from his heart. “Stay with me, don’t leave me.”
The aching loneliness in his voice was haunting, soul destroying.
For the first time Ruby could see how much Alec needed her. It wasn’t just wanting; he needed. Everything in her soul struggled to be what he needed. But Ruby's body was sick. She had an illness that might not be cured. The ugly refrain reverberated loudly in her mind.
And Ruby was furious. Her entire life had been disrupted again. The world seemed to be spinning out of control. Her hands were shaking as she placed her palms against his chest to hear those heartbeats. She couldn’t be with him realizing that she will leave him one day. Ruby couldn’t do it. But her hands just lay there helplessly.
“I love you, will always cherish and treasure you. You are my wife, for all eternity and always in my care.” Alec whispered those sweet words to her ears again, just like he had promised once to her long ago.
Alec reached for her, unable to prevent himself when there was raw pain etched into her face and such urgent need in her eyes.
“Come here to me. Everything will be alright.” His hands settled around her, gathered her into the shelter of his body, for he was afraid that he will lose her. She was his everything.
__
Tavia Su felt the tension in the room as she entered and wished she could do something to lessen it. But she was feeling slightly nauseous and couldn’t think of anything to say to her parents.
Finally, at five-fifteen, a doctor breezed into the room along with the nurses. Their faces were mask-like and unreadable, but Tavia felt a stab of fear for her mother. If only they’d been smiling. Sadly, her father can’t even discern their features.
After the doctor had announced her mother’s result, Tavia felt as incredulous as her father.
“Kidney failure! But how is that possible?” She asked in disbelief.
With her heart pounding and her mouth as dry as cotton, she waited for the doctor to give them his advice. Tears filled her eyes again, and Tavia let them run, unmapped, down on her face. For a minute she felt the unreality of the situation, as though she were playing a part in a movie.
And then reality hit her like a punch in the stomach. Tavia looked at the doctor in the eye, reminded herself he was there to help her mother. She needed him. But somehow, she hated him. She hated the news he brought upon her family. The news was so devastating that Tavia couldn’t imagine ever feeling good again. Certainly not emotionally anyway. Her mother’s body had given up on her, betrayed her, destroyed her kidneys, and her mother’s life would never be the same. The thought scared Tavia.
“H-How long will my wife be on this dialysis?” Her father asked.
His face was ashen and drained, and suddenly he looked much older than his forty-five years.
“For as long as she lives.” The doctor said quietly.
Her mother’s whole life! A wave of nausea swept through Tavia. She didn’t care about how the process worked. She only wanted to wake up from this terrible nightmare and know that her mother would be fine.
Tavia sobbed until there were no more tears left in her. Her father continued to hold her mother.
Finally her father spoke. “We need to be strong so we could help your mom recover. The first thing to do is read up on it. Find out all we can.”
Tavia knew it was her father’s way. He tackled life’s problems armed with as much knowledge as possible. He’d raised her to believe that fear did nothing to improve the situation and that knowledge was the power to destroy fear.
“I’ll quit my job,” Tavia heard herself offer. “I want to be there for mom.”
In spite of Tavia’s sacrifice, Ruby felt a twinge of guilt. She didn’t want her daughter and her husband sacrificing themselves on her account. “Tavia, please don’t do anything radical yet.” Ruby said.
Alec Su detested what was happening to his wife and felt helpless to protect her against the unfairness of life treating her. What she needed more than anything right now was a topnotch doctor who had the ability to cure his wife’s disease. Somebody who didn’t know the word failure, somebody with a reputation for always saving life. The first name that came to mind was Rick Lam and Alec Su was determined to find that adept doctor to save his wife.
__
After Tavia had gone into the room to see her father, Ron Ng left the lobby and went looking for a vending machine. He wanted to buy Tavia and Mr. Su something to drink.
Unexpectedly, a voice of someone’s name was called from the hallway alerted Ron. Ron glanced left. Saw nothing. Looked right and caught a glimpse of a dark figure disappeared so quickly he wondered if he had imagined it. But he didn’t. Ron saw a man around his age reach out and touch a girl’s shoulder. She jerked away.
“I’m sorry Rain, You know I cared about you.” Ron withdrew from his position in corner of the hallway. It wasn’t right to eavesdrop.
“Bosco…” He heard the girl say.
Ron took a glance at her and he recalled that she was the same girl at the front entrance at the hospital hours ago. He and Tavia had almost collided into her when they were hurrying to see Tavia’s mother. He thought his eyes tricked him because for a moment that her look almost resembled Tavia’s.
Suddenly, a shiver that had nothing to do with the air conditioner inside the room crept up his spine. Then it registered to his brain that the lad’s name was Bosco. Could it be the same Bosco, his childhood friend/rival?
Ron quickly rushed in through the back door, trying to get back to Tavia as soon as possible. When Ron got back to the lobby, he was waiting outside the room. His long sinewy frame was leaning negligently against the banister. The breeze was coolly ruffling his hair.
Tavia appeared and she paused to look at him. He’d never seen Tavia this agitated before. She looked vulnerable and beaten. He wanted to reach out to pull her closer to him, but he didn’t. What would it be like to kiss her? His imagination ran wild as he contemplated what would come after the kiss. He cleared his throat, hoping it would drive away his thoughts.
“It’s okay, I’m here.” Ron said understandingly as if he knew something wrong had happened.
Ron wanted to say something to her, something to take the pain from those sad eyes. He hoped nothing was extremely seriously terrible happening to her.
So many emotions were tumbling through her that Tavia was having trouble controlling them. Tavia met his gaze. Some of the tension eased out of her when she saw this sympathetic and concerning look.
Finally she said, “Thank you, Ron. I’m grateful that you’re here.” Tavia uttered a cry of relief and rushed into his arms. They held each other wordlessly for a long moment.
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Chandra
05/29/07