| Fan Fiction |
by Chandra
Ruby Lin lay on the bed, her hair spilling across her pillow. Alec Su stared down at her, caressing her with his gaze. She looked pale, yet beautiful. Her thick, dark lashes almost brushed her upper cheeks. He wanted to kiss her rosebud-shaped mouth. He dropped to his knees beside her bed and tenderly stroked her forehead. She made a sound, but didn’t wake. Unable to resist, he leaned forward and ever so softly pressed his lips to her. Then he laid his cheek on the pillow, close to her face, until their noses almost touching. She stirred. Her heart beat into his hand. Air rushed through her lungs. Her lashes fluttered. Lifted. Her eyes opened slowly, focusing on his face. Unbelievably, she made an effort to smile at him. “I was dreaming of you.”
Alec wanted to crawl beneath the covers with her, hold her body against his and never let her go. “Have I told you today that I love you?”
“I can’t remember. Better tell me again.”
“I love you, Ruby” Her eyes, large and color of brown chocolate, studied him seriously as he said those words. Ruby was in a world of feeling and love. It surrounded her, embraced her, a perfect paradise. But the snake began an insidious attack, slithering into her perfect world and bringing images she couldn’t stop the feeling of being held down, locked beneath another, much heavier body; her soft cries of happiness were drowned out by the agonized scream of an infant. Ruby forced her mind away from the nightmare images, determined to recapture her living moment with Alec Su.
For the first time in year, her blood wasn’t burning her from the inside out. For the first time in years, she hadn’t awakened with the thought of hoping, not wanting to die. She was wide-awake, and her mind was filled with Jimmy. As hard as she tried, she could not extinguish the tiny ray of hope growing deep within her.
Jimmy. There was a faint ache in her voice, betraying her own deep needs and cravings. She felt her strength ebbing.
Ruby had been through so much in her life. As her husband, Alec wanted to protect her from all harm, shield her from all adversity. Now he knew her. He knew her heart and soul. He knew every scar in her mind. The wounds were deep, and he couldn’t get rid of them anymore. Alec realized that those memories, that horrendous life she had endured and survived, had made her the courageous woman she was. Ruby had been shaped and honed in the fires of hell and she had come through it, a compassionate woman who sought to protect, with every breath in her body, those she allowed into her life. It looked complicated and reminded him again of the difficult course her life had taken.
Alec rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I just want you well again and out of here.”
“Me too.” The familiar fear clutched at her.
For a few minutes Ruby had forgotten where she was and why, but now reality returned with a jolt. She was sick. Mysteriously and genuinely sick. When she’d first protested that she was fine and didn’t want to be checked into the hospital for testing, Alec was so worried that he immediately took her to the hospital himself.
“Ruby.” Her name was wrenched from his heart. “Stay with me, don’t leave me.” The aching loneliness in his voice was haunting, soul destroying. For the first time Ruby could see how much Alec needed her. It wasn’t just wanting; he needed. Everything feminine, everything human in her struggled to be what he needed. But Ruby was tainted, sick. The ugly refrain reverberated loudly in her mind.
And Ruby was furious. Her entire life had been disrupted again. The world seemed to be spinning out of control. Her hands were shaking as she placed her palms against his chest to hear those heartbeats. She couldn’t be with him realizing that she will leave him one day. Ruby couldn’t do it. But her hands just lay there helplessly. Her fingers curled into the silk of his shirt.
She felt it, the difference inside her, the sudden wrenching deep within, turning, forming, completing something that had long been torn in two. Fear shook her. Ruby clung to Alec instead, digging her fingers into his shirt, holding him close to her.
“Your life, happiness and welfare will be cherished and placed above my own for all time. You are my wife, bound to me for all eternity and always in my care.” Alec whispered those sweet words to her ears again, just like he had promised once to her long ago.
Alec reached for her, unable to prevent himself when there was raw pain etched into her face and such urgent need in her eyes. “Come here to me. Everything will be alright.” His hands settled around her, gathered her into the shelter of his body.
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Tavia Su felt the tension in the room as she entered and wished she could do something to lessen it. But she was feeling slightly nauseous and couldn’t think of anything to say to her parents. Finally, at five-fifteen, Dr. Lam breezed into the room along with the nurses. Their faces were mask-like and unreadable, but Tavia felt a stab of fear for her mother. If only they’d been smiling. Sadly, her father can’t even discern their features.
“Kidney failure! But how is that possible?” After the doctor had announced her mother’s result, Tavia felt as incredulous as her father. With her heart pounding and her mouth as dry as cotton, she waited for the doctor to give them his advice.
Tears filled her eyes again, and Tavia let them run, unmapped, down on her face. For a minute she felt the unreality of the situation, as though she were playing a part in a movie. And then reality hit her like a punch in the stomach. Tavia looked at the doctor in the eye, reminded herself he was there to help her mother. She needed him. But somehow, she hated him. She hated the news he brought upon her family.
The news was so devastating that Tavia couldn’t imagine ever feeling good again. Certainly not emotionally anyway. Her mother’s body had turned on her, betrayed her, destroyed her kidneys, and her mother’s life would never be the same. The thought scared her.
“H-How long will my wife be on this dialysis?” Her father asked. His face was ashen and drained, and suddenly he looked much older than his forty-five years.
“For as long as she lives.” Dr. Lam said quietly. Her mother’s whole life! A wave of nausea swept through Tavia. She didn’t care about how the process worked. She only wanted to wake up from this terrible nightmare and know that her mother would be fine.
Tavia sobbed until there were no more tears left in her. Her father continued to hold her mother. Finally her father spoke. “I know this is terrible, honey, but it’s not the end of the world. Your mother is alive. We need to be strong so we could help your mom recover. The first thing to do is read up on it. Find out all we can.”
Tavia knew it was her father’s way. He tackled life’s problems armed with as much knowledge as possible. He’d raised her to believe that fear was the true enemy and that knowledge did much to banish fear. “I’ll quit my job,” Tavia heard herself offer. “I want to be there for mom.”
In spite of Tavia’s sacrifice, Ruby felt a twinge of guilt. She didn’t want her daughter and her husband sacrificing themselves on her account. “Tavia, please don’t do anything drastic yet.”
Alec Su detested what was happening to his wife and felt helpless to protect her against the unfairness of life treating her. What she needed more than anything right now was a topnotch doctor who had the ability to cure his wife’s disease. Somebody who didn’t know the word failure, somebody with a reputation for always saving life. The first name that came to mind was Rick Lam and Alec Su was determined to find that adept doctor to save his wife.
__
After Tavia had gone into the room to see her father, Ron Ng left the lobby and went looking for a vending machine. He wanted to buy Tavia and Mr. Su something to drink. Unexpectedly, a voice of someone’s name was called from the hallway alerted Ron. Ron glanced left. Saw nothing. Looked right and caught a glimpse of a dark figure disappeared so quickly he wondered if he had imagined it. But he didn’t. Ron saw a man around his age reach out and touch a girl’s shoulder. She jerked away.
“I’m sorry Rain, You know I cared about you.” Ron withdrew from his position in corner of the hallway. It wasn’t right to eavesdrop.
“Bosco…” He heard the girl say. Ron took a glance at her and he recalled that she was the same girl at the front entrance at the hospital hours ago. He and Tavia were almost colliding into her when they were hurrying to see Tavia’s mother.
Suddenly, a shiver that had nothing to do with the air conditioner inside the room crept up his spine. Ron rushed in through the back door, trying to get back to Tavia as soon as possible.
When Ron got back to the lobby, he was waiting outside the room. His long sinewy frame was leaning negligently against the banister. Tavia appeared and she paused to look at him. The breeze was coolly ruffling the long silk of his hair. He’d never seen Tavia this agitated before. She looked vulnerable and beaten. He wanted to reach out to pull her closer to him, but he didn’t. What would it be like to kiss her? His imagination ran wild as he contemplated what would come after the kiss. He cleared his throat, hoping it would drive away his thoughts.
“It’s okay, I’m here.” Ron said understandingly as if he had knew something wrong happened. Ron wanted to say something to her, something to take the pain from those sad eyes. He hoped nothing was extremely seriously terrible happening to her.
So many emotions were tumbling through her that Tavia was having trouble controlling them. Tavia met his gaze. Some of the tension eased out of her.
Finally she said, “Thank you, Ron. I’m grateful that you’re here.” Tavia uttered a cry of relief and rushed into his arms. They held each other wordlessly for a long moment.
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Chandra
05/29/07