| Fan Fiction |
by Chandra
Tavia could feel her mother’s pain as she stared glumly at the tube snaking from the inside of her forearm resting on the recliner-style chair to the machine next to her. The compact dialyzer hummed, doing work of Ruby’s now-defunct kidneys. It cleansed her blood of wastes and toxin and returned it to her body purified and was ready to begin the cycle of cellular waste removal all over again. Her mother had been on dialysis for a week now– three times a week, four hours a day, and now Tavia knew her mother must have hated it.
“Don’t look sad, once the process of dialysis is done, then the kidney transplantation will begin.” The nurse’s statement intruded on Tavia’s dark thoughts.
___
As Alec Su rummaged through the document of his wife’s process of the treatment, his hands began to shake dreadfully when he saw the name ‘Bosco Wong’ next to Dr. Raymond Lam. It couldn’t be. Suddenly, a shiver that had nothing to do with the air-conditioner shimmied up his spine. Alec rushed through the exit door and toward the front of the office to take a deep breath. He needed fresh air. If Alec stayed in the hospital any longer, the atmosphere in the hospital might choke him.
Once, a long time ago, Alec had thought that if only he ran fast enough, far enough, he could escape from the past, could leave the guilt and anguish behind in the gust. But he was wrong. All these years, he was worried that one day he had to face the truth and to pay for the price of his own deed. The past had caught up with him, and he was weary and defeated.
Now all his roads were run and because at last he had learned that no matter how long and hard he ran, the one thing in the world he could never outrun was himself. He had to deal with his own conscience.
Suddenly the images of a decade ago raced to him like a shadow of the past that never once left his soul. He was horrified as the image flashed before his eyes. Alec didn’t kill them. He didn’t mean to take Bosco Wong’s parents away from him. Those words repeated themselves over and over inside his mind… and his heart. Alec shuddered as those haunting moments played vividly inside his head.
Their deaths were an accident. He was drunk that night. Moreover, he was depressed and furious when he had found out that Ruby had deceived him all along. She had loved another man, had a child with that man. How could she do that to him? And that night Alec couldn’t see a damn thing. And now he kept seeing flashes of the accident, pictures of twisted car and glass broken on the rain.
___
Bosco’s fingers tightened for an instant over hers, and then he pulled away. “I care for you, Rain. You know I do. Last night, when I thought you’d been attacked…” He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to block the image.
“I care, Rain. I love you too, but... not that way. I’m sorry.” He said, trying to find the rights words to express how he felt without hurting her feelings.
Her heart fluttered. The truth of his words was like an arrow piercing her heart. She would always be his sister. Bosco didn’t feel the same. Always. No matter what. Rain glanced away from the sad, guilty eyes, disappointed, miserable, and embarrassed.
Rain fell silent. A lump swelled in her throat and her chest ached. Her heart felt as if it were being torn to pieces. She was in love with Bosco Wong but he didn’t love her in return and there was nothing Rain could say, nothing she could do to change things.
“Get home safe. I’ll visit you tonight.” Bosco took a last glance at Rain as he painfully turned away and returned back into the hospital.
Rain still watched him go, catching a sight of his back in the distance, turning away from him. Her whole life had been lived to avoid a dejected moment like this. When Bosco had lost both his parents, the pain had been too great to bear twice. But Rain had slipped beneath his carefully constructed defenses. His heart had opened once again, and now he was willing to tell her that he didn’t love her.
Rain closed her eyes to shut out what was happening to her, the helpless feeling of being utterly and completely heartbroken. Hot tears burned her cheeks as the tears she didn’t remember producing. She had to get away from this place. Rain immediately ran toward the main street, catching for taxicab.
Rain luckily got a hold of the cab and started to climb into the car.
"Rain?"
For a moment, she almost thought the voice belonged to Bosco. Perhaps he came back to tell her that it was a lie. His words didn’t mean anything. Suddenly she felt as if a thin arm wrapped itself around her shoulders, squeezing them tight. It was a comforting gesture, sweet and empathetic, and it flooded her with unexpected warmth.
"Rain? Are you all right? I didn’t have time to ask you last night." Despite herself, Rain smiled, realizing that it wasn’t Bosco, but another man instead. The man stood somewhat behind her, his voice uneasy.
Rain realized with a start that he must have been calling her for a while. She got out of the car and her gaze held on him for a moment.
Rain drew in a long breath, but felt it shudder in her chest. Her voice was gone. Her legs were shaking. Rain closed her eyes to stop it all. She was still digesting Bosco’s words and his action and how much it hurt her. She couldn’t fathom how she was going to face another person when she was in so much pain.
"Thank you, for last night. If it weren’t for you, I…." Rain said weakly, turning to Raymond. “How was Mr. Li?”
“Uh… Are you busy, is there a place we could sit and have a talk?” He asked nervously.
___
Bosco watched a lady in her twenty with another man around his mid-forty march out of Raymond Lam’s office; he had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. She looked familiar, resembling someone he knew and yet he couldn’t identify her. The moment when the middle-aged man called her name ‘Tavia,’ his ear suddenly jerked up.
Unfortunately, their figures had disappeared as Bosco scanned around, running forward, but he failed to spot them. Thinking that it was his own illusion, Bosco exited the hospital, deciding to stop at Raymond’s office later.
Once Bosco was outside, he stared up at the sky above. The nostalgia of his teenage years suddenly dulled his brain. Bosco closed his eyes against his childhood memories, but they flooded his mind. It was that summer of 1997, when Bosco was fifteen, five years older than Tavia.
___
****
In front of them, the waves poured endlessly over the sand. Coming and going, thought Tavia. The waves were a little like her and Bosco. Bosco had come into her life and was leaving. Maybe that was the way things were. Coming and going, arriving and leaving, greetings and farewells. And she didn’t want to say good-bye to him. The thought of never seeing him again saddened her.
“I have to go now.” He repeated.
A while ago, Tavia was stunned. Utterly, completely stunned. So stunned Tavia couldn’t speak, even though she was aching to scream, to rant, and to demand an explanation for how he could desert her like this. All Tavia could do was to repeat, over and over in her head: Don’t let him go. Don’t let him go.
And yet Tavia gasped, muffled a groan of pain, buried her face against his chest and held herself very still. She had wept after she had found out his reason for leaving. Bosco had lost his dearest, only parents in that car accident and now social workers were taking him to the orphanage. A wave of sorrow rolled through her body, turning her stomach.
Bosco felt tears burning in his eyes, clogging his throat. His hands clenched into two tight fists. It was not fair. If only he had had longer time with Tavia, but it had been just two days of his parents’ funeral and now he was going away to the foster house.
Bosco had planted the seed of his love for Tavia at their first encounter and he had sown deep the roots of that love, now with his departure, there was no time for them to grow. So he turned away, alone in the dark street toward a black automobile, and he picked up his suitcases, and they were not as heavy as his heart.
As the vehicle began its movement, Bosco looked back, through the rear window. Tavia stood on the sidewalk, looking at him, pain etched on her beautiful face. His tragedy had become her tragedy, and Bosco wondered if they would ever see each other again.
===============================================================
Chandra
06/10/07
A Preview for Upcoming Chapter
………………………………
………………………………
“I’m not going anywhere, Tavia, I promise you.” Tavia knew he meant it.
“I love you,” he said softly, then moved his mouth close to her.
_________
“You were like the vision of an angel to me; I had you up on the pedestal. And now that vision is shattered – it’s as if you shot me in my heart! How could you do this to me, Ruby? How could you?”
“Oh, Jimmy, I’m so sorry!” She sobbed. “I didn’t want to do anything to hurt you – this marriage with Alec was not something I was looking for or wanted to occur. I kept telling my parents about us, but after a while they were much too strong to fight against. You know, I love you – I really do!”
_____________
“I want to know about your world,”
“Struggled, I think. That comes first. Compulsion to escape from reality. Seclusion that it can’t be done. That happens every day, believe it or not.” “I am an orphan and I wake up each morning wondering who my parents are, or if they’re still alive or not. It’s pitiful huh? But at the beginning of every day there is nothing but wondering. I don’t expect you to feel like that.”
“I’ve never experienced all the things you have gone through, but I could imagine how it would be like.” Raymond said seriously.
____________