| Fan Fiction |
by UnknownViet
"I'm sorry, let's end it here."
I choked on the words, I didn't want to say it, but I did. This isn't how I wanted to end it. Not on this day. It's such a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the atmosphere is extremely warm. He brought me out to the park. The park where we met, our place. He held my hand, and we strolled over to the tree. His hands were unconditionally cold. It wasn't warm like before. Like the day we met. Everything changed. He changed, the place changed, our love changed. We sat under the tree, silently. I watched him as he gazed at the leaves falling. I'm going to miss him, a lot. I'll miss his melodic voice, his player smile, his shiny crystal-like eyes, and his laughter. My eyes were starting to well up. I quickly wiped the tear that managed to escape from my eyes. This is it. I have to do it. There's no more excuses. No more exceptions. I stood up, unclasping our intertwined hands. He looked up at me, his eyebrows meeting each other, and his lips pouting. I looked away from his eyes, I knew that if I stared at them, I wouldn't be able to continue this.
"I'm sorry, let's end it here." I said. I turned away, not wanting to look into his eyes. I wiped away the tears that kept falling. I didn't want to cry. Not infront of him, atleast.
"W-what?" he choked. His expression changed. He looked confused. I was too.
"It's over. We're done." I said. I tried my best to sound nonchalant. But I failed. My voice choked, I knew that he knew I was crying. I was on the verge of breaking down.
"Yun Joo, is this a joke?" he asked. He never called me by my full name, only when he's mad.
"No. I'm serious." I replied. I couldn't help wanting to turn around right now, and say that it's all a joke. But it isn't. I don't know how I'm going to survive without him in the future.
"What are you talking about?!" he raged. I turned around to face him. He was standing up now, towering over me. I avoided his glare, I looked down at my feet. They were so small compared to his. He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. I couldn't control the tears that were running down my face. What hurt me most was that he was crying too.
"I'm tired! I'm tired of waiting for you every night, I'm tired of our fights! I'm tired of everything!" I screamed into his face. He was emotionless. He stared at me. I blinked back the tears, and swallowed the lump in my throat. Everything was silent. No birds were chirping, no cars honking, no laughter, no conversations. Nothing. Only our inhalings and exhalings. "For the past eight months, all we ever did was argue! I can't take the pain anymore!"
"And you think I feel good about fighting?" he questioned. It's starting again. Another fight. Sigh. I thought about how I was going to break up with him last night. Would it be a good breakup, and we'll be friends after? Or we will be enemies? Or worse, strangers.
"I don't know! I don't know anything anymore. I don't know you anymore." I exclaimed. It's true. I didn't know the guy who was standing in front of me anymore. What happened to the cheesy guy who always made me laugh and smile at his small gestures and jokes? "You've changed Chi Hoon."
He didn't say anything at first, and just looked down. We were only a few centimeters away from each other. Oh, how I wish I could close the gap between us. To just feel his warmth again from his arms. To feel his arms wrapped around my waist, and to feel safe. Knowing that he will always be there to protect me.
"I thought about it for the past month. And I think that there's nothing between us anymore." I said. More tears were falling, but I didn't care. I jsut let them fell. I watched as the tears fell from my eyes, falling to the ground, onto my black plaid flats.
"What do you mean? Don't you love me anymore?" he sobbed. His eyes were red. His botton lip pouted. I had the urge to wrap my arms around his neck, and press my lips against his pouty ones.
"Chi Hoon, I love you. A lot. I loved you so much three years ago, and I still do. But I can't live with this relationship. We've been on and off for the past year. I feel like we're on a roller coaster. We have our ups and downs. But I feel like we have more downs than ups." I said. Everything was coming out. I looked at him, and he looked back at me. He was hurt. So was I.
"I love you Miki. Please don't leave." he said. He grabbed my hand, and gripped it tight. It was still cold. Lee Chi Hoon was not back yet. We've been through this so many times, but I knew that he knew that this one was more serious than the past.
"I'm sorry, Chi Hoon. It's best if we're apart." I said, and I unclasped our hands. "I love you. You'll find someone better than me."
And with that, I walked away. I accidentally stepped on a flower. I stopped, and looked at the flower that was flattened by me. It looked exactly like the flower he gave to me on the first day we met. I looked around and there was only one flower. The flower I stepped on. Today, I stepped on his heart. I bent down, and picked up the flower. I started walking away, away from him. I looked back, and he was watching me as I walked away. Tears were staining his cheeks. His eyes were swollen. I mouthed the words 'I Love You' to him, for the last time. And turned and continued walking away from him. I stared at the flower, and the image of the first we met replayed in my mind.
; F l a s h b a c k ;
Ahh. Such a beautifully day! I walked around, spinning, and jumping at the park. It was so beautiful to see the leaves falling. It was unconditionally warm for Autumn, but I loved it. I spun, and spun.
CLICK.
I stopped spinning. I turned around, and saw a guy who was holding a camera and he looked embarassed. He was pretty tall for a guy, his hair was pure black, his clothes were pretty fashionable. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. He walked towards me, and I could feel my face burning up.
"Annyeonghasaeyo. Sorry, it was a perfect scene, so I jsut had to take it." he said, showing me his camera. I smiled and nodded. He showed me the picture. I looked at him, bewildered. I don't really like taking pictures personally, since I always take bad ones. But I have to admit, I really liked his picture that he took of me.
"That's really nice." I complimented.
"Only 'cause you're in it." he said, and flashed me a smile. Oh god. My face is probably extremely red right now. I'm famous at school for being the red tomato. My face gets extremely red when I'm embarassed or shy.
"Are you a photographer?" I asked, trying to break the silence. And distract him from staring at my red face.
"Yup! Thanks for the cute picture by the way." he said and flashed another smile. Damn! His smile is cute!
"Um...no problem." I said. Oh god. Why am I stuttering?!
"Would you like to go for a walk?" he asked. I looked at him, he face was red. He was blushing? Awww, that's cute!
"Sure." I said. I smiled and he went even redder. We started walking along the pathway, he stopped a few times, taking pictures of the scenery. He stopped again, and picked up a flower. He held it towards me.
"Can you pose with this flower for a second?" he asked. I nodded, confused. I took the flower, and smiled. He pulled out his camera, and started taking pictures at different angles. I gave him back the flower when he was done. "That's for you."
I smiled. The very first time a boy has ever given me a flower. We walked a bit more. We took turns talking about ourselves, and I learned that his name was Lee Chi Hoon. We walked through the whole park, sitting at the benches, and under the trees, playing on the swings. I had a great time with him. Though we just met, I feel very close to him. Like I've known him for so long. I can't help but feel happy and glad when he catched me when I tripped on the rock. When he catched me, it was warm. His arms were warm. Making me feel safe. Why do I have this feeling? It feels like butterflies are in my stomache. It was getting pretty dark, and I had a curfew. I'm eighteen, and yet I still have a curfew. Embarassing, I know. But what do you expect? I have strict Asian parents.
"Sorry, it's getting late, I have to go now." I said. We stopped walking and stood under the tree. I didn't plan on telling him that I had a curfew. I would be a tomato again.
"Me too. My parents are going to kill me if I'm not home soon." he said. I laughed, and he looked away, embarassed. "Yeah, I know. It's embarassing."
"Nahs, I have a curfew too." I admitted, and we both laughed. He felt good to laugh with him. Throughout the whole day, in total, I laughed fifty six times because of his cheesy lame jokes. But they were cute.
"Umm...I know that we just met...I was just wondering, would you like to go out this Saturday? It's okay if you're busy or soemthing." he said. He looked down. He looked so cute when he's shy.
"I would love to." I said.
"W-what?" he asked. He looked up at me. His eyes were big and shiny. It was beautiful under the moonlight.
"I would love to go out with you this Saturday." I said. I tipytoed and gave him a small peck on his cheek, and I started running. I looked back, and he was standing there. Motionless. He finally snapped out of his dream world, and shouted to me,
"What's your number?!"
I yelled my number back to him, and I watched as he punched in the numbers. I smiled and he flashed his player-like smile back.
; E n d O f F l a s h b a c k ;
Tears trickled down my face as images of the past three years played in my mind. I wanted to look back again, but the thought of seeing his hurtful expression pained me to death. I resisted the urge, and continued walked. I dropped the flower, and continued walking. I walked out of the park, and if I could, I wished that I could walk right out of his heart, and this world. Three years down the drain. I put in so much love and tears into this relationship, just to make it work out. It lasted for three years. I know that he'll never forgive me, and if we were to ever meet on the streets, we'd be like strangers. But after all of this, I know that I'm stronger. I've become a whole new person. I've experienced love, and how it feels to be hurt. I'm more matured. After numerous fights and arguments, I've matured. I'm not Lee Yun Joo or Miki anymore. I'm a different person now. This is the end. The End of Lee Chi Hoon's and Lee Yun Joo's relationship, and the beginning of a whole new Miki. I still love him, I miss him. Someday, I wish that maybe we could meet again, not as strangers, as lovers. Not as Lee Yun Joo or Lee Chi Hoon.
The End marks the epilogue of the love I've shared for him, and the birth of the new ME. I will become stronger, strong enough to fight this pain. I will become numb to this painful feeling. For the past three years, I evovled into a different person. This 'The End' ends the story of Lee Yun Joo and Lee Chi Hoon. The End marks the birth of the new me.
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© UnknownViet
March 2O, 2OO9